8teen days and counting....
last night was one of the craziest things i have ever experienced that's for sure.
no time for details, so just take my word.
you ever have a feeling, any kind of feeling, and it's there and then it isn't there...like let's say, as a minor incident, you get a bad report card...at first you feel like shit, then you have the "fuck it" attitude, then you kinda let it get to you again and so on... or say...you're in love, or you think you are, and you have all these feelings one day and then not the next and then the next BAM you have them again, feelings can realy fuck with your head if you ask me.
i hope i never get so old that all i do is talk about nonsense. i swear. i'm gonna be a cool old person that's for damn sure. I really don't want to live that long. I mean after a while wouldn't you think life would get kinda lame? i mean, i'm thinkin 70 is a good age, maybe too good...65ish...i don't know, i just don't want to get to the point that i'm worthless. if that's the case, i think i'd pull my own plug.
i need new paints. i need new brushes. i need a new life. haha.
if anyone has any paints, or anything for that matter, that they don't use, you can donate them to me, i have this 100$ fine that i have to pay so i guess you can say i'm out on a lim when it comes to money. i feel like some uptight dad that is 5 dollars in debt and tells the kids to start selling their CDs for cash, or crack, either one. ha. anyways if anyone wants to get rid of some supplies, dump then in my bin.
goin camping tonight, i'm trying to decide if i want to take my mothers dog with. should be a trip if i do.
school year is going by so damn fast. i nearly blinked and spring break was over. wow. i'm graduating in less than a year, i'm graduating in january next year. for some odd reason the fact that i'm graduating early makes me feel like i'm extra smart but i really don't know how im doing it.
so i'm on sound for the musical at my school, i really want to stay on it...i mean, i didnt even audition because i wanted to be backstage learning something, but i just don't think i can do it. all i wanted was to learn how to run the board but...with everything going on, i think i'm just gonna come to my sense and tell mrs.v that somethin came up and i can't do it. i feel so bad, but i shouldnt, i mean it's my damn life and if i dont want to spend 11 hours a day at school everyday i shouldnt have to and i shouldnt feel bad for not doing so. i'm not sure yet...
"everyone goes through these trials of self truth and self abuse. when you're selfish you're so hard not to adore. when you're selfish i just love you even more. i wanna help you but you gotta say the words....i want to be cured."
this entry actually made me feel better, i forgot how much getting shit out of your system really helped.
i'm out.
no time for details, so just take my word.
you ever have a feeling, any kind of feeling, and it's there and then it isn't there...like let's say, as a minor incident, you get a bad report card...at first you feel like shit, then you have the "fuck it" attitude, then you kinda let it get to you again and so on... or say...you're in love, or you think you are, and you have all these feelings one day and then not the next and then the next BAM you have them again, feelings can realy fuck with your head if you ask me.
i hope i never get so old that all i do is talk about nonsense. i swear. i'm gonna be a cool old person that's for damn sure. I really don't want to live that long. I mean after a while wouldn't you think life would get kinda lame? i mean, i'm thinkin 70 is a good age, maybe too good...65ish...i don't know, i just don't want to get to the point that i'm worthless. if that's the case, i think i'd pull my own plug.
i need new paints. i need new brushes. i need a new life. haha.
if anyone has any paints, or anything for that matter, that they don't use, you can donate them to me, i have this 100$ fine that i have to pay so i guess you can say i'm out on a lim when it comes to money. i feel like some uptight dad that is 5 dollars in debt and tells the kids to start selling their CDs for cash, or crack, either one. ha. anyways if anyone wants to get rid of some supplies, dump then in my bin.
goin camping tonight, i'm trying to decide if i want to take my mothers dog with. should be a trip if i do.
school year is going by so damn fast. i nearly blinked and spring break was over. wow. i'm graduating in less than a year, i'm graduating in january next year. for some odd reason the fact that i'm graduating early makes me feel like i'm extra smart but i really don't know how im doing it.
so i'm on sound for the musical at my school, i really want to stay on it...i mean, i didnt even audition because i wanted to be backstage learning something, but i just don't think i can do it. all i wanted was to learn how to run the board but...with everything going on, i think i'm just gonna come to my sense and tell mrs.v that somethin came up and i can't do it. i feel so bad, but i shouldnt, i mean it's my damn life and if i dont want to spend 11 hours a day at school everyday i shouldnt have to and i shouldnt feel bad for not doing so. i'm not sure yet...
"everyone goes through these trials of self truth and self abuse. when you're selfish you're so hard not to adore. when you're selfish i just love you even more. i wanna help you but you gotta say the words....i want to be cured."
this entry actually made me feel better, i forgot how much getting shit out of your system really helped.
i'm out.