BABYSITTIN
well now im pissy cause i had this damn thing all typed up and then because of the girls i accidently closed the window........grrr....anyway i hate babysittin and i dont know why i let myself get talked into these things...anyway still feel shitty from yesterday.....for those of you who dont know yesterday i went and hung out with my lil sis jess and we had a major heart to heart....i even cried.....pretty hard too it was scary how sensative i am....jess says that im more sensative then her i just hide it better....she says i hide it better then anybody she knows because even when something thats said to me crushes me to the point i wanna die i act like it doesnt phase me....im not sure if this is a good or bad thing....maybe both....anyway i also feel even shittier cause now i've developed a permanent feeling of dirtyness.....and not the good kind either......i dunno why.... i spent like lil under an hour in the shower(as long as the hot water would hold out)scrubbin in scorchin water and still feel dirty.....wonder wat the hell is wrong with me.....i've come to the conclusion its not physical dirtiness so there really aint much i can do to feel better.......damn it all to hell anyway.....ill stop bitchin now about the things i cant change.....peace out mi homies and crew