(no subject)
Psychologists say there's this affliction called SAD (seasonal affective disorder) where people get depressed when the summer leaves and leaves us with grey depressive skies but blame it on my English upbringing, I get the complete opposite. When the season changes from warm to chill, I'm GLAD. I want nothing more that to be outside; raking leaves, wearing scarves, smoking a fag in 2 minutes or less to ward off the frostbite. There's nothing I want less than to be inside. It was probably a bad move moving to LA, where the temperature doesn't get below 60; you can take the boy out of London but you can never take the London out of the boy.
I saw this advert in the LA Times "ACTORS WANTED: must love gore" so I jogged my way down. I'm still waiting for my George Michael programme to get the green light, any work is good work, right? The pocked-faced boy in the office asked if I had a resume. "Well, not on hand..." I tossed out my SAG card just to prove I was legit, "Look, I've done some film, some theatre, even some tv." He'd obviously not seen Dracula 2000 but still hired me to play the butcher. Four days of working for scale and I got fired for getting a little too frisky with the lady patrons. But my Halloween experience didn't end there, oh no.
Leighanne found a corn maize (get it, corn maze, haha) in the papers and decided we should go. We tried to borrow a child so her child would have a friend but for some reason, no one feels comfortable leaving their children with us. So we went alone. We had this bet going, whoever gets to the end first get to pick the Halloween costume. We decided on a Labyrinth theme but it was down to who gets to be Jennifer Connelly and who gets to be David Bowie. Thank god for modern technology, we had our walkie talkies and Michelle, bless her heart, decided that since she was already going to jail had no qualms about hijacking a news helicopter to lead us on our way. Jesus wanted to stay home to hand out candy.
"Jonny Lee, you're in the cow's ass, over and out." "Leigh, I see you in the cock's head, mayday." Hooter said.
Eventually we found our way out, and the blonde was victorious. So this is how it is, this is how I'm spending my holiday. As the woman.
Next up, the sausage festival. RSVP below.
I saw this advert in the LA Times "ACTORS WANTED: must love gore" so I jogged my way down. I'm still waiting for my George Michael programme to get the green light, any work is good work, right? The pocked-faced boy in the office asked if I had a resume. "Well, not on hand..." I tossed out my SAG card just to prove I was legit, "Look, I've done some film, some theatre, even some tv." He'd obviously not seen Dracula 2000 but still hired me to play the butcher. Four days of working for scale and I got fired for getting a little too frisky with the lady patrons. But my Halloween experience didn't end there, oh no.
Leighanne found a corn maize (get it, corn maze, haha) in the papers and decided we should go. We tried to borrow a child so her child would have a friend but for some reason, no one feels comfortable leaving their children with us. So we went alone. We had this bet going, whoever gets to the end first get to pick the Halloween costume. We decided on a Labyrinth theme but it was down to who gets to be Jennifer Connelly and who gets to be David Bowie. Thank god for modern technology, we had our walkie talkies and Michelle, bless her heart, decided that since she was already going to jail had no qualms about hijacking a news helicopter to lead us on our way. Jesus wanted to stay home to hand out candy.
"Jonny Lee, you're in the cow's ass, over and out." "Leigh, I see you in the cock's head, mayday." Hooter said.
Eventually we found our way out, and the blonde was victorious. So this is how it is, this is how I'm spending my holiday. As the woman.
Next up, the sausage festival. RSVP below.