(no subject)
Things to think about/do when bored:
We all have those days when we lie on the sofa, staring into space, trying to let our minds wonder as we gaze out onto the open world through the living room windows. Only to find that instead of wondering, our mind staggers and trips, falls to it's metaphysical knees like a drunk slipping on puke. Embarrassed at our minds lack of creativity in solving our boredom problem we become annoyed and agitated, finding solace on inflicting our pain upon others with unneeded renditions of old cabaret songs and reminiscing of the time that that thing that happened... Happened. This is a fairly long winded intro into what is quite literally a self-explanitory premise: Curing boredom.
Idea #1:
Call some of your equally interllectual friends round and discuss the finer points of chemistry, detailing whether the atomic weight of the elements the compound consists of is more important than the molecular weight of the combined elements. Discuss the half-life of various medications and the pros and cons of certain psychiatric drugs easily available from China; but how it is best to use your friend's credit card when ordering. You decide the discussion of molecular and atomic weights is beneath you, Chemistry deals with an area of the universe, so you move onto the discussion of being, ontology is your forté and you debate the entire universe through the perception of the human reality and Star Trek's dependence on the space-time continuim when the writers were short of ideas.
Idea #2:
Sit back and read a play by the Irish playwrite Samuel Beckett, then decide that you aren't a pessimist (you hope!) and that there is a chance for humanity and the human condition will win out you miserable Irish man. You decide to pick up a nearby book on the table, the one with the coffee wrings on it, you think that Jean-Paul Sartre, though a Frenchy was a genius, he was a much happier man, though his constant dismantling of reality and his existentialist writings gets on your tits, so you chuck it next to the Samuel Beckett, which sits atop of a pile of half-read, dog-eared Shakespeare titles and you watch your old Scary Movie DVD. After all, it wasn't that bad, six years ago you found it funny.
Idea #3:
You come to the conclusion you're a suedo-interllectaul, nothing more than a wannabe fake, and who cares about knowledge and Sartre and pants like that. Screw religion, hope and faith, lets dress up in our Sunday best, become a nihilist and hit the London club scene. You become a sycophantic narcacist, sucking up to Jordan, Simon Cowell, Kate Beckinsale, Joel Silver, Pete Doherty, Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Ewan McGregor, Calvin Kline, Armani blanks you, so screw him, Stella McCartney, Lee Evans, you punch Chris Moyles but cosy up to Terry Wogan, suprised to see a man in his sixties dancing the night away at Fabric. After a failed relationship and a empty life filled with celebrity parties, champagne and the consumption of suspicious substances in chic unisex toilets you have a very public row with Jodie Marsh in the Ivy, unaware you had been going out with HER for the past three months; you thought she was the maid, so you take another Xanax and collapse on the table.
Idea #4: Idea #3 was too much trouble and ended so very badly, you take the easy route. You pick up that fitness DVD your other half gave you for Christmas to 'help you loose those pounds' and tak it out back. You remove the largest, heaviest hammer from shed and proceed to find the person who starred in the video: Jade Goody. You find her, smash her head in, you're caught by Police, sued by Heat because they no longer have anything to write about; you're ruined; you're in prison for life; not even Jodie Marsh would touch you now. Oh! How you should have just smashed that DVD instead.
Idea #5 :
Write a long winded piece of prose detailing how to solve boredom issues for others suffering from this debilitating, temporary condition. Convince yourself you aren't procrastinating and that thing you're supposed to do can really wait and humanity needs your help more than ever right now.
ciao,
jonny x
We all have those days when we lie on the sofa, staring into space, trying to let our minds wonder as we gaze out onto the open world through the living room windows. Only to find that instead of wondering, our mind staggers and trips, falls to it's metaphysical knees like a drunk slipping on puke. Embarrassed at our minds lack of creativity in solving our boredom problem we become annoyed and agitated, finding solace on inflicting our pain upon others with unneeded renditions of old cabaret songs and reminiscing of the time that that thing that happened... Happened. This is a fairly long winded intro into what is quite literally a self-explanitory premise: Curing boredom.
Idea #1:
Call some of your equally interllectual friends round and discuss the finer points of chemistry, detailing whether the atomic weight of the elements the compound consists of is more important than the molecular weight of the combined elements. Discuss the half-life of various medications and the pros and cons of certain psychiatric drugs easily available from China; but how it is best to use your friend's credit card when ordering. You decide the discussion of molecular and atomic weights is beneath you, Chemistry deals with an area of the universe, so you move onto the discussion of being, ontology is your forté and you debate the entire universe through the perception of the human reality and Star Trek's dependence on the space-time continuim when the writers were short of ideas.
Idea #2:
Sit back and read a play by the Irish playwrite Samuel Beckett, then decide that you aren't a pessimist (you hope!) and that there is a chance for humanity and the human condition will win out you miserable Irish man. You decide to pick up a nearby book on the table, the one with the coffee wrings on it, you think that Jean-Paul Sartre, though a Frenchy was a genius, he was a much happier man, though his constant dismantling of reality and his existentialist writings gets on your tits, so you chuck it next to the Samuel Beckett, which sits atop of a pile of half-read, dog-eared Shakespeare titles and you watch your old Scary Movie DVD. After all, it wasn't that bad, six years ago you found it funny.
Idea #3:
You come to the conclusion you're a suedo-interllectaul, nothing more than a wannabe fake, and who cares about knowledge and Sartre and pants like that. Screw religion, hope and faith, lets dress up in our Sunday best, become a nihilist and hit the London club scene. You become a sycophantic narcacist, sucking up to Jordan, Simon Cowell, Kate Beckinsale, Joel Silver, Pete Doherty, Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Ewan McGregor, Calvin Kline, Armani blanks you, so screw him, Stella McCartney, Lee Evans, you punch Chris Moyles but cosy up to Terry Wogan, suprised to see a man in his sixties dancing the night away at Fabric. After a failed relationship and a empty life filled with celebrity parties, champagne and the consumption of suspicious substances in chic unisex toilets you have a very public row with Jodie Marsh in the Ivy, unaware you had been going out with HER for the past three months; you thought she was the maid, so you take another Xanax and collapse on the table.
Idea #4: Idea #3 was too much trouble and ended so very badly, you take the easy route. You pick up that fitness DVD your other half gave you for Christmas to 'help you loose those pounds' and tak it out back. You remove the largest, heaviest hammer from shed and proceed to find the person who starred in the video: Jade Goody. You find her, smash her head in, you're caught by Police, sued by Heat because they no longer have anything to write about; you're ruined; you're in prison for life; not even Jodie Marsh would touch you now. Oh! How you should have just smashed that DVD instead.
Idea #5 :
Write a long winded piece of prose detailing how to solve boredom issues for others suffering from this debilitating, temporary condition. Convince yourself you aren't procrastinating and that thing you're supposed to do can really wait and humanity needs your help more than ever right now.
ciao,
jonny x