the good life. (desperate times part 2)
i've been thinking lately about what makes me want to remain living. there's very little holding me together these days(ie: bits of music, cooking food, random scraps of paper, work). i have amazing friends and even though i love them dearly, i feel like no one can help me. i'm a little trapped in this body of mine. it's like i'm struggling to swim in some kind of gooey liquid that flows beneath my skin. i have a very strong sense of the space under my skin. it's very fuzzy and makes me feel faint. i wish i could shed my skin and then combust and burn to almost nothing only to become reborn as some new kind of creature. maybe i would have wings and eyes that were like dark marbles. i would climb to the tops of buildings and shout at the sky "show yourself!" "show yourself!" and then i would be some kind of crime fighting monster/super hero. evil doers would fear me because i have a troubled soul. like batman, but angrier, passive aggresive, moody, and mostly lazy. ugh, i love everyone but me. conversely, life is good. i love everything that happens. livejournal! the internet! show yourself!