where's the beef?
SO, everybody knows Im against cheesy diets and other fads. Mainstream TV ideas rarely appeal to me. To me, this diet displays a weakness in character that you need to take an easy way out of things. Is eating right and working out really so hard?
When you walk around, have you noticed that people have become thinner? I haven’t either.. But everybody and their mom is on Atkins. What does this tell us?
Shit, maybe it’s not working.
I love when I go home to Orlando to visit friends and crash, unwillingly, at my mom’s house. Actually this is a good thing. A free tank of gas is like an early Christmas to a college kid. Or kwanzaa. I celebrate kwanzaa.
Anyway. So inevitably she takes me out to Orlando Alehouse on the Friday night that I get home for some pre 7 o’clock $1 drinks, and dinner.
Normally I believe that I eat very healthy, but home with family and friends is hardly a time to suppress a little well earned gluttony.
So were about to eat our food and I see these fried, battered, chicken strips covered in a glop of cheese and a bucket of ranch dipping sauce to top it off put in front of my mom. This is a heart attack on a plate. I don’t even say anything because I already know what she’s thinking. "I read a blurp in my Women’s World Magazine about the Atkins diet and blah blah blah this will help me lose 15 lbs in 15 days"
2 years ago my mom would have probably ordered a huge house salad with crutons and bread on the side, and washed it all down with about one and a half whiskey sours before mumbling incoherently about something.
But thanks to the good Doctor, a heart attack on a plate, washed down with some Mich Ultra and then some more chicken wings is the secret to weight loss success. Fruit is for people who just don’t know any better.
Of course Id love to meet the good doctor in person but I read he died a while back at the ripe age of 72. To my surprise it wasn’t for health reasons, but due to a slip and fall. At the time of his death he was about 260 lbs. That’s odd. Shouldn’t the Jesus of weight loss be, kinda.. thin?
The crafty Atkins folks rebounded with a logical answer. the good doctor gained about 60 lbs in the 8 days he was in a coma before his departure, so he was really about 195to 200 lbs.
Amazing. If I ate 10 cheeseburgers and 20 apples a day for the next 8 days id be lucky if I gained 10 lbs.
Alright, I'm sick of writing about this. I guess my point is,
next time your waiting for what seems forever to get that close parking spot at the grocery store where you will pick up, among other things, some new organic, low carb, chocolate ice cream, do yourself a favor and park in the back where your car wont get hit by a cart, burn about 20 extra cals walking past the bozos who are still waiting and buy a fuckin apple instead.
When you walk around, have you noticed that people have become thinner? I haven’t either.. But everybody and their mom is on Atkins. What does this tell us?
Shit, maybe it’s not working.
I love when I go home to Orlando to visit friends and crash, unwillingly, at my mom’s house. Actually this is a good thing. A free tank of gas is like an early Christmas to a college kid. Or kwanzaa. I celebrate kwanzaa.
Anyway. So inevitably she takes me out to Orlando Alehouse on the Friday night that I get home for some pre 7 o’clock $1 drinks, and dinner.
Normally I believe that I eat very healthy, but home with family and friends is hardly a time to suppress a little well earned gluttony.
So were about to eat our food and I see these fried, battered, chicken strips covered in a glop of cheese and a bucket of ranch dipping sauce to top it off put in front of my mom. This is a heart attack on a plate. I don’t even say anything because I already know what she’s thinking. "I read a blurp in my Women’s World Magazine about the Atkins diet and blah blah blah this will help me lose 15 lbs in 15 days"
2 years ago my mom would have probably ordered a huge house salad with crutons and bread on the side, and washed it all down with about one and a half whiskey sours before mumbling incoherently about something.
But thanks to the good Doctor, a heart attack on a plate, washed down with some Mich Ultra and then some more chicken wings is the secret to weight loss success. Fruit is for people who just don’t know any better.
Of course Id love to meet the good doctor in person but I read he died a while back at the ripe age of 72. To my surprise it wasn’t for health reasons, but due to a slip and fall. At the time of his death he was about 260 lbs. That’s odd. Shouldn’t the Jesus of weight loss be, kinda.. thin?
The crafty Atkins folks rebounded with a logical answer. the good doctor gained about 60 lbs in the 8 days he was in a coma before his departure, so he was really about 195to 200 lbs.
Amazing. If I ate 10 cheeseburgers and 20 apples a day for the next 8 days id be lucky if I gained 10 lbs.
Alright, I'm sick of writing about this. I guess my point is,
next time your waiting for what seems forever to get that close parking spot at the grocery store where you will pick up, among other things, some new organic, low carb, chocolate ice cream, do yourself a favor and park in the back where your car wont get hit by a cart, burn about 20 extra cals walking past the bozos who are still waiting and buy a fuckin apple instead.