this is my crying...
so I haven't had a good cry in a long while, not that any cry is a good cry mind you, its just i'm sitting here getting over my tears and thinking. Sometimes I hate myself and wish i could just leave me.
Emotions are a powerful thing. If you get caught in one, the only way to get out of it is too get swept up in another. Not a very east task. Sometimes i feel the emotion is not welcomed and it only leads to worser (sp?) things.
I bite my nails way too far down. To the point where they hurt. Its not a good thing at all, a really bad habit, i've done it for as long as I can remember.
I'm all over the place tonight. I'm sad but i feel like i have all this energy, its being put into thoughts and their speratic (sp?) and tears continue to fall? Whats my eyes problem, i wish they could stop.
I blame the night, it always happens late, during the day i'm never sad, in fact i'm down right the happiest guy ever. Its not fair that when the sun goes down so should my smile and spirits.
I miss being a youth in the church. Things were easy and I always had friends just like me, same problems, same beliefs....
they've all grown up and left me.
And only 1 of those are serving a mission. We all said we would. We used to do everything together. Now, you treat them like the old friend from high school you only talked to during school 'cause you needed someone to talk to.
Sometime, life can be pretty sucky...and it feels like an awful lot of the time. You know i had a pretty crappy day, no one asked me how my day was, all day at work Angie kept asking,"Whats wrong Jon, your'e not smiling and running around." I couldn't think of an answer. I honestly couldn't think of anyting wrong. I guess it was because the sun was still up, but at the same time i wasnt happy.
I hate not being happy...
Emotions are a powerful thing. If you get caught in one, the only way to get out of it is too get swept up in another. Not a very east task. Sometimes i feel the emotion is not welcomed and it only leads to worser (sp?) things.
I bite my nails way too far down. To the point where they hurt. Its not a good thing at all, a really bad habit, i've done it for as long as I can remember.
I'm all over the place tonight. I'm sad but i feel like i have all this energy, its being put into thoughts and their speratic (sp?) and tears continue to fall? Whats my eyes problem, i wish they could stop.
I blame the night, it always happens late, during the day i'm never sad, in fact i'm down right the happiest guy ever. Its not fair that when the sun goes down so should my smile and spirits.
I miss being a youth in the church. Things were easy and I always had friends just like me, same problems, same beliefs....
they've all grown up and left me.
And only 1 of those are serving a mission. We all said we would. We used to do everything together. Now, you treat them like the old friend from high school you only talked to during school 'cause you needed someone to talk to.
Sometime, life can be pretty sucky...and it feels like an awful lot of the time. You know i had a pretty crappy day, no one asked me how my day was, all day at work Angie kept asking,"Whats wrong Jon, your'e not smiling and running around." I couldn't think of an answer. I honestly couldn't think of anyting wrong. I guess it was because the sun was still up, but at the same time i wasnt happy.
I hate not being happy...