whatatimeitwasonthursday
it starts with eyelid separation at daybreak. well... not really daybreak, but, youre awake closer to the time of the rising of the sun than you are normally used to. as the day progresses you realize that you have the same amount of good fortune that maybe a line of cows have who trust the judas cow.
so im hoping that next time i have to take a test for scoring an interview with a reputable company, that smoke doesnt pour forth from my car. ok, so i pushed it a little further than i was supposed to because well, i was an exit away and i had ten minutes to get there. but i guess that sometimes you have take chances. or better yet, somethings come up only once in a while, so you go for them. naturally.
like the natural way that thermostats break.
tempo-regulate-naturale...
it wasnt terribly inconvenient, the fact that i spent a few hours on the roadside across the street from the place i took my test. like my own little world. millions of people nationwide in their own personal several hundred yards of personal, private space. testing and in need of roadside assistance. like the pig farm that was built next to the sausage factory. or the paper mill that lies on the outskirts of a vast forest.
andy warhol said that in the future, "everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame." think of this as your five minutes of driving time.
in the future, everyone will have their own five minutes of driving time.
thats the time it takes from you to be in a good mood, to arrive at a complete failure.
the wrong thing to say is, "no officer, im stopped here for my health."
and then think about how youre not only stopped somewhere convenient, but your stopped right in front of a fast food joint. this is what we call a catch twenty-two. youve already called the roadside assistance facility, yet, you cant get yourself something to eat because you know that instant youre inside ordering, the towing machine will arrive. has that ever happened to you?
and dont lie, you know that you love customer service by phone. dont lie.
an hour after my initial call, i receive a faux-cheerful disposition of a telephone personality in my ear. and this one, she has the nerve to tell me, for real, seriously, like i so need to hear it right now, that the tow-person will arrive in about a half hour.
"but ive already been waiting for an hour."
"remain calm sir." like i need to hear that.
"i called at 1230. its 130 now."
"we want to thank you for choosing the triple-a roadside assitance gold package, where we know that you spent the extra money, but were going to exploit that fact anyway and make you wait longer than a basic triple-a member would, or longer than any other human being rightfully should for that matter."
"but ill *click* never get these hours back..."
*dial tone*
*sigh*
this is after serious hunger sets in. its late in the day now. pull the handle to open your door and start to head for the restaurant. i dare you. and seriously, for real this time, the phone rings. it only rings to tell me to stay in my car because truck arrival is imminent.
no joke.
but hum is playing on the radio (thank god it works) and its ok. plus you can stare out the window and see if your loved one drives by. and then think of how, if you were stopped on the road at night, you could stare off into space and start to think about the universe. the universe as vast indeed. but youd laugh at it, because, in all its infinity, it smaller than your own love for a certain person.
this silly universe we reside in.
the wrong thing to say is, "i wish triple-a would call back."
but of course, good ol justin awakens me from my daydream. im sort of in the same position as i was this morning, only, im not in my own bed, and in the morning, nothing bad happened yet.
his name is justin because, when you look in the side view mirror of the tow-truck, it says, "nitsuj." sooooooooooooooooooooo, justin, what do you for work? bwaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha! no seriously, like, for real, we dont even talk at all. we didnt even talk when the police and construction workers were setting fire to the side of the highway.
if you dont believe me, find someone who drove the warwick section of 295 that day. you could see the pillar of smoke for miles. and it was one of those things where, you dont even have to say anything to the complete stranger sitting next to you. the eyes say it all. things like:
"why would they do that?"
"whats that bloody smell?"
"if it gets out of control i will laugh. but i will move far also. i dont want to have to deal with wearing an oxygen mask everyday."
then you think of the oxygen vending machines they have in east asia. also known as tokyo. japan.
theyre taxing the air we breathe.
but all in all, upon arriving home after more untold horrors, i can look back on this and laugh. hard. the reason is this:
no matter how many horrible things happen to you in your life (or throughout a certain day), you have that one conversation with that one person and thats all that really matters. not that you need a reminder, but things like that let you know how fortunate you really are. and yes, thats more than enough for me...
thank you more than i can explain in words...
jd
so im hoping that next time i have to take a test for scoring an interview with a reputable company, that smoke doesnt pour forth from my car. ok, so i pushed it a little further than i was supposed to because well, i was an exit away and i had ten minutes to get there. but i guess that sometimes you have take chances. or better yet, somethings come up only once in a while, so you go for them. naturally.
like the natural way that thermostats break.
tempo-regulate-naturale...
it wasnt terribly inconvenient, the fact that i spent a few hours on the roadside across the street from the place i took my test. like my own little world. millions of people nationwide in their own personal several hundred yards of personal, private space. testing and in need of roadside assistance. like the pig farm that was built next to the sausage factory. or the paper mill that lies on the outskirts of a vast forest.
andy warhol said that in the future, "everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame." think of this as your five minutes of driving time.
in the future, everyone will have their own five minutes of driving time.
thats the time it takes from you to be in a good mood, to arrive at a complete failure.
the wrong thing to say is, "no officer, im stopped here for my health."
and then think about how youre not only stopped somewhere convenient, but your stopped right in front of a fast food joint. this is what we call a catch twenty-two. youve already called the roadside assistance facility, yet, you cant get yourself something to eat because you know that instant youre inside ordering, the towing machine will arrive. has that ever happened to you?
and dont lie, you know that you love customer service by phone. dont lie.
an hour after my initial call, i receive a faux-cheerful disposition of a telephone personality in my ear. and this one, she has the nerve to tell me, for real, seriously, like i so need to hear it right now, that the tow-person will arrive in about a half hour.
"but ive already been waiting for an hour."
"remain calm sir." like i need to hear that.
"i called at 1230. its 130 now."
"we want to thank you for choosing the triple-a roadside assitance gold package, where we know that you spent the extra money, but were going to exploit that fact anyway and make you wait longer than a basic triple-a member would, or longer than any other human being rightfully should for that matter."
"but ill *click* never get these hours back..."
*dial tone*
*sigh*
this is after serious hunger sets in. its late in the day now. pull the handle to open your door and start to head for the restaurant. i dare you. and seriously, for real this time, the phone rings. it only rings to tell me to stay in my car because truck arrival is imminent.
no joke.
but hum is playing on the radio (thank god it works) and its ok. plus you can stare out the window and see if your loved one drives by. and then think of how, if you were stopped on the road at night, you could stare off into space and start to think about the universe. the universe as vast indeed. but youd laugh at it, because, in all its infinity, it smaller than your own love for a certain person.
this silly universe we reside in.
the wrong thing to say is, "i wish triple-a would call back."
but of course, good ol justin awakens me from my daydream. im sort of in the same position as i was this morning, only, im not in my own bed, and in the morning, nothing bad happened yet.
his name is justin because, when you look in the side view mirror of the tow-truck, it says, "nitsuj." sooooooooooooooooooooo, justin, what do you for work? bwaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha! no seriously, like, for real, we dont even talk at all. we didnt even talk when the police and construction workers were setting fire to the side of the highway.
if you dont believe me, find someone who drove the warwick section of 295 that day. you could see the pillar of smoke for miles. and it was one of those things where, you dont even have to say anything to the complete stranger sitting next to you. the eyes say it all. things like:
"why would they do that?"
"whats that bloody smell?"
"if it gets out of control i will laugh. but i will move far also. i dont want to have to deal with wearing an oxygen mask everyday."
then you think of the oxygen vending machines they have in east asia. also known as tokyo. japan.
theyre taxing the air we breathe.
but all in all, upon arriving home after more untold horrors, i can look back on this and laugh. hard. the reason is this:
no matter how many horrible things happen to you in your life (or throughout a certain day), you have that one conversation with that one person and thats all that really matters. not that you need a reminder, but things like that let you know how fortunate you really are. and yes, thats more than enough for me...
thank you more than i can explain in words...
jd