A YEAR IN REVIEW: ART (APRIL)
self portrait - april 2021
We have now made it to April. Wandering around - living my life romantically and enjoying the last moments of solitude before others awake from their winter slumber. My hibernation was coming. Daily sketches were still a thing but I had started to reach out towards different mediums - I was feeling creative again. Now you could say I had been creative the other months, sketching endlessly but to me that is just an extension of my arm - those sketches were apart of me and in a sense helping me overcome my artistic fears. I was beginning to feel better - understanding my queerness and allowing that to seep into my art work.
a message
JongHyun
Colour had now begun to enter my art pieces; even within my sketchbook. I began to explore with different textures and mediums. I just wanted to have some fun with my art, to move myself out of my sketchbook. When I say my queerness had begun to seep into my art work - I do not mean that it was politically or socially queer but rather it means I was letting go of an old art style to allow another to enter. Allowing my growth and understand of who I am (was?) as a person to be spread wide open to allow others to see. I was navigating new ideas, new concepts, and allowing change to happen. There was still apart of me not feeling good enough, fearing the word artist because how could I be an artist when I wasn't saying anything that spoke to the mass population? I should be creating those things - making others aware of current issues - I felt like a failure anytime I made my art because I was being selfish. My art was about me.
something's coming
in the wild
are you?
With this guilt in hand - for being selfish - but in reality as I am looking back, I just wanted to be heard - I retreated back inside myself and the black and white sketches begun again. Still waiting for something to come - I could feel it in the air. I could almost capture it but for some reason it kept slipping through my finger tips. The unknown was still looming over my shoulder, gentle breathing down my neck...reminding me that I was in limbo. Constant thoughts and doubt plagued me - feeling like a fraud. I was just a person who doodles in their sketchbook, nothing more. April felt short, April felt cold - but change was in the air.
-K