you were a phonograph, i was a kid

[kipling]

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counttheplanes asked for a Jonghyun & Jonghyun post, so here it is! I'm so pleased to be writing this, no one has any idea how long I was like, "they should be friends ; w ;" before they actually started interacting, and now there's enough for me to be writing a massive post about it. Jonghyunnie makes all kinds of dreams come true, right ♥

Comments

[possum_baby]

I've just stumbled upon this community and am greedily devouring everything! I've often felt Jonghyun is one of the most misunderstood idols (e.g. why does everyone think he's dumb? Boy reads Kafka, Poe, Brecht - come on!) so this community is super interesting to me. One thing in particular though: you mention about their families and I was just wondering about that, because I've always been curious about Jonghyun's relationship - or lack of - with his father. To be honest, I got the (completely uninformed) impression he came from a single parent household. I've read things about his father not approving of his pursuing music etc., but the fact that he has never, to my knowledge, mentioned his father or thanked him like he frequently does his mother and sister, who he is obviously incredibly close to, especially in light of the overwhelmingly patriarchal dynamics in S. Korea, suggests to me more than a simple distance. It broke my heart watching his teary shout-out to his mother in the SM movie. And whereas the other members all

[kipling]

Yeah, I mean, he made a joke about the Gestalt phenomenon? He isn't really showy about his intelligence, and ironically, that humility has led to the prevailing notion that he's empty-headed. I think everything he downplays ends up ignored and people pick up on his jokes and playful exaggerations as indications of his actual character, so he's cocky and a fool, when he's really not.

In re: his family, he hasn't mentioned his father much, and I think this Chin Chin radio mention, where he says his father is a triathlete, is about it. But the thing about patriarchal societies is that children in general won't be close to the father, because the father is an authority figure and while he's meant to be admired and emulated, particularly by male children, it's not necessarily an intimate relationship - it's a relationship that demands respect, discipline and filial piety/obedience more than anything. Most male idols will mention their mothers or their parents, but very rarely do they mention their father specifically and in a positive

[possum_baby]

Thank you. It's very interesting, especially since in my own case my father and I are more like best friends than parent-child - I find the idea of that formal a relationship to be sort of terrifying! I can't imagine not being able to verbally abuse him on a daily basis!

One of the reasons I'm enjoying Jonghyun having twitter so much is because I think it's introduced more people to how hilarious and clever he can be. I've always felt sort of defensive on his behalf him because - in certain communities anyway - he seems to get a lot of stick, whether it's that his voice is overrated or that, like you said, he's cocky. But you don't have to be a massive fan to realise where his stage persona ends so I'm constantly bewildered by how many people just don't see it. However, since he's started tweeting, it seems to have opened people's eyes a little, so...yay! Plus his constant trolling of Minho is glorious.

[kipling]

In retrospect I might have worded it a little too harshly - I just wanted to point out that a patriarchal family structure doesn't automatically equate to being close to one's father (and on the contrary to what you alluded to in the first comment, I think Korea and Korean men place a lot of emphasis on the mother) but it doesn't mean that one can't be, at all. The idea of filial piety extends to the mother as well, and Jonghyun is obviously very close to his mother, but you'll notice he doesn't actually joke about her - the respect of a child toward their parents is just as, if not more, strong as love. I do think that in the father-son relationship there's a lot more potential for it to be formal or rigid, particularly because parenting norms and gender roles are very different in Asian societies in general, but that doesn't mean it always is in actual practise

[possum_baby]

I just wrote an entire essay on the issues I have with filial piety and age-based hierarchies and then realised this wasn't the time or the place! Long story short, I will never be comfortable with either. But then again I'm the offspring of an old hippy - I was encouraged to question authority at every opportunity (as I like to gleefully remind my father whenever we argue)!

I need to be more like you and not care what other ppl think/say about him. But it's just so frustrating when we're so right and they're so wrong! I'm pretty sure self-righteousness is another old hippy quality...

I'd be interested in discussing his voice and some of the issues brought up about it with you at greater length if there is a time and place for that sort of topic? Or maybe you're so sick of the negativity that you'd rather not which, fair enough!

[possum_baby]

Replying to my own comment is somewhat tragic, but I just reminded myself of that episode of Hello Baby where they play the age-reversal game - Taemin telling Jonghyun to eat the cup cracks me up every time!

[kipling]

Yeah, I understand we're coming from completely different viewpoints, so! Sorry for rambling on, too, haha, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't giving you a skewed impression or anything.

It definitely helps to have this community and to have found like-minded friends, but I'm also just really content with supporting him and ignoring everything else, haha - I stick to the Korean/Japanese/Chinese/Taiwanese parts of fandom, and usually the subcategory of Jonghyun fans, which helps. Feel free to make a post about it! We're open to discussions anytime, and I really want to encourage people besides me to post, too ; u ;