006. Yay racism talk
For some reason last night, I went on fandomsecrets and responded to a secret about so-called 'reverse racism' (which, by the way, is a phrase I hate because it implies that ~regular~ racism is defaulted to minorities). I guess that should have been my first clue to not engage with the OP about it.
Basically, the secret was about how the OP felt attacked (even though I later found out s/he didn't participate in discussion) by all the "I hate white people, go away, it's all your fault" sentiment. By the way, I want to make clear that I don't have and don't support this attitude because I guess that can be not clear? -_-;
I dunno. I responded because I thought the OP wanted more information on the conflict that white people can feel between wanting to help and being accused of being racist. I thought maybe the OP wanted to have a personal better understanding about what s/he can do as a white person who wants to help.
It was really frustrating to get back a negative response and get grouped with the people who call "that's racist!" at everything. Thanks a lot. Then OP withdrew from discussion even though she claimed she was only giving her support. ...I don't see how you can give support by lurking a white-bashing community but okay.
It's. So frustrating. It's that kind of attitude that just makes me want to roll my eyes at people who claim they want to help or give support but hide behind the excuse 'but you won't let me!'. Talking to this kind of person is a losing battle because they only want to verbally get on their soapbox to say "I hate racism, I want to support you, I can't support you because all of you hate me for my so-called privilege. Therefore, I'm not even going to try anymore and you drove me to this." Good for you that you hate racism. Good for you that you do want to give support. But... bwuh?? at the rest of that because that completely contradicts your beliefs. It is so extremely very easy to say things but to actually DO something no matter what even if it makes you feel uncomfortable? Yeah. That's totally different.
I feel like I should insert a disclaimer here saying that I'm not saying this about all white people but a particular attitude that I see in some white people. God knows people can find anything to be offended by even when I think I've tried to word everything neutrally.
It's things like that that make me Tired. I'm Tired of people not listening to what I'm actually saying and interpreting that I'm calling all white people racist or even just taking personal offense when I'm speaking to an open forum. I'm really Tired from how much I feel like I have to give a disclaimer to not get offended, that I'm trying to speak objectively (but that's hard for some people because this is a passionate subject), that I'm not saying that white people can do nothing at all. And then I'm even more Tired when people like OP act like they have a Just Cause in being offended by extremists and not listening, not listening, to what others (generally PoCs) have to say. Therein lies the problem because the "Listen to me, but I won't listen to you" approach helps nobody. That just makes me Tired of feeling like I'm talking into empty space. I wonder why I even responded again, to someone else this time, with a longer two-part comment when I feel like I'll just have more words put in my mouth that I never ever said or mean to say. If someone else responds to me again with attitude, I don't know if I want discuss back. It's like a one-sided discussion anyway, where I want to make people understand rationally and the recipient wants to accuse me of calling them racist. I wonder if anyone even wants to listen.
Basically, the secret was about how the OP felt attacked (even though I later found out s/he didn't participate in discussion) by all the "I hate white people, go away, it's all your fault" sentiment. By the way, I want to make clear that I don't have and don't support this attitude because I guess that can be not clear? -_-;
I dunno. I responded because I thought the OP wanted more information on the conflict that white people can feel between wanting to help and being accused of being racist. I thought maybe the OP wanted to have a personal better understanding about what s/he can do as a white person who wants to help.
It was really frustrating to get back a negative response and get grouped with the people who call "that's racist!" at everything. Thanks a lot. Then OP withdrew from discussion even though she claimed she was only giving her support. ...I don't see how you can give support by lurking a white-bashing community but okay.
It's. So frustrating. It's that kind of attitude that just makes me want to roll my eyes at people who claim they want to help or give support but hide behind the excuse 'but you won't let me!'. Talking to this kind of person is a losing battle because they only want to verbally get on their soapbox to say "I hate racism, I want to support you, I can't support you because all of you hate me for my so-called privilege. Therefore, I'm not even going to try anymore and you drove me to this." Good for you that you hate racism. Good for you that you do want to give support. But... bwuh?? at the rest of that because that completely contradicts your beliefs. It is so extremely very easy to say things but to actually DO something no matter what even if it makes you feel uncomfortable? Yeah. That's totally different.
I feel like I should insert a disclaimer here saying that I'm not saying this about all white people but a particular attitude that I see in some white people. God knows people can find anything to be offended by even when I think I've tried to word everything neutrally.
It's things like that that make me Tired. I'm Tired of people not listening to what I'm actually saying and interpreting that I'm calling all white people racist or even just taking personal offense when I'm speaking to an open forum. I'm really Tired from how much I feel like I have to give a disclaimer to not get offended, that I'm trying to speak objectively (but that's hard for some people because this is a passionate subject), that I'm not saying that white people can do nothing at all. And then I'm even more Tired when people like OP act like they have a Just Cause in being offended by extremists and not listening, not listening, to what others (generally PoCs) have to say. Therein lies the problem because the "Listen to me, but I won't listen to you" approach helps nobody. That just makes me Tired of feeling like I'm talking into empty space. I wonder why I even responded again, to someone else this time, with a longer two-part comment when I feel like I'll just have more words put in my mouth that I never ever said or mean to say. If someone else responds to me again with attitude, I don't know if I want discuss back. It's like a one-sided discussion anyway, where I want to make people understand rationally and the recipient wants to accuse me of calling them racist. I wonder if anyone even wants to listen.