We're so miserable and stunning
Title: We're so miserable and stunning
Characters: B.A.P, brief mention of VIXX
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and boys in short skirts
Word Count: 3472
Summary: Youngjae didn’t want to be sassy. He wanted to wear pants. And a shirt that didn’t threaten to reveal his nipples every few seconds.
A/N: Written for crazybananatr3e! Inspired by a twitter conversation I had with her about sailormoon!BAP. Happy birthday unzwunz! I love you loads<3 There will be more parts to this! (Sorry for my limited knowledge on superpowers and stuff.)
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Written in a universe where Superheroism has become an industry, with new groups debuting under different concepts, all scrambling for popularity and fame. Fandoms, OTPs and sassy managers all apply. They're heroes essentially, preserving the sanctity of human life. Just your average boys trying to find the balance between looking good and saving the day. All in the name of justice and sweat-proof concealer. ❇❇❇
Youngjae was a thinker. He thought a lot. There were usually at least five thoughts running simultaneously through his mind at any one time. Impossible questions to solve, mysteries of the universe, calculus... He tried to think when this all started. What had he done in the past to provoke such divine punishment? Perhaps it was the time he took pictures of Junhong drooling on his pillow to blackmail him. Or it could be when he accidentally spilled cola all over his mom’s favourite cushion cover. Or maybe it was the time he discovered he had the power to materialize chocolate ice-cream from thin air. Yup, it must have been that. That opened up the doors to so much embarrassment before he realized- hey, dropping vehicle-sized dollops of chocolate ice-cream on people could be deadly too. Especially if they had sensitive teeth. So Yoo Youngjae managed to get people to respect him and his unique gift. Drowning in chocolate ice-cream wasn't fun. But now, one dominant thought ran through his mind, eliminating all the other little pockets of deliberation-
"Fuck."
He accidentally (okay maybe rather purposefully) let the word slip past his lips as he looked down at his outfit. His outfit. The outfit of a whore. The short pleated school girl skirt fanning out to barely cover his ass, the off-shoulder blouse that threatened to sag lower than it already did and the god damned shoes they were sparkly for God's sake.
"Watch your language Yoo Youngjae! And stop pulling at your uniform! You're going to crease the fabric!"
"Hyung. This is not a uniform. It sure as hell isn't my uniform! I'm pretty I didn't sign up to be a slut."
Youngjae's voice had gotten impossibly high from the insane level of stress he was feeling. He needed a drink. A really strong one. Yes please, hold the ice.
"At least yours isn't plaid, hyung..."
Junhong mumbles, looking rather downcast in his sleeveless top and pink plaid skirt. Himchan chirped his reply, saying something about plaid being adorable and how pink was well matched with junhong's hair and something about Youngjae not knowing the true meaning of a whore's outfit. Youngjae never wanted to know what a true whore's outfit looked like. He never wants to see Himchan hyung's collection of outfits his mother should have taught him never to wear.
"Who put you in charge anyways?"
Youngjae held the skirt closer between his legs and cursed Himchan for not having the decency to even give them stockings. (Notice how Youngjae has lowered his standards and stopped complaining about being dressed in drag).
"The company, duh… I'm the oldest, the most fashionable and the smartest. I'm the obvious choice for commander! Now shut up and twirl for hyung!"
Both boys rolled their eyes, turning around awkwardly for Himchan to inspect their outfits. Whatever. Life sucks anyways.
The look on Manager Kang's face when they enter his office renewed a sense of hope within the two maknaes. Maybe, he thought that this was a shitty idea too. After all, Manager Kang looked shocked beyond his wits. Junhong shifted closer to Youngjae, like as if the combined strength of both their wounded puppy dog looks would help convince manager kang that this was utterly, terribly, horribly-
"Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Great job Himchan!"
"WHAT?!?!"
The collaborative scream echoed in the room and Manager Kang has to cover his ears in pain because, boy could they scream.
"Jesus! Do you mind? And what's wrong? I think this look would sell. It's unique and none of the other boy groups have tried this yet. It's settled you're sticking with this look! Or we'll delay your debut indefinitely!"
That's cos' boys don't wear skirts and off shoulder shirts... Youngjae kept that in his mind though, he wanted so bad to escape trainee life. The thought of living in a smallish dorm and practicing day in day out, Youngjae with his power over chocolate ice-cream, Junhong with strawberry ice-cream and Himchan with vanilla ice-cream. With the only joy being chugging hot ramen down their throats straight from the pot after training. Hell they were going to debut! Even if that meant embarrassing outfits that threatened to reveal their sensitive man parts.
They were going to be called B.A.P. Initially it had stood for Best Absolute Princes. It was tacky, completely cheesy, almost gag-worthy, but fine by Youngjae. They were going to be princes after all, princes of the hip hop concept and all things cool- huge metal chains, baggy shirts, slacked pants blah blah blah, Manager Kang was an expert nagger.
Until that other group beat them to their debut- B.A.C. No one knew what it stood for, and everyone decided to leave it at that, thinking that it was just three random letters chosen by a bunch of old people with little knowledge on the English language. B.A.C had been appearing frequently on TV, in a series of public service videos telling people to pick up trash, give up their seats to old people, hold their hands up when they cross the roads and what not. And Youngjae was amazed they even managed to garner such a mass of followers. Them with their black wife-beaters and obnoxious gold chains, loose pants and branded boxer shorts showing at the hem. People sure were getting dense nowadays. When B.A.C came, the rest of the world crashed down upon the protagonist-trio. Youngjae still remembered the day they were called into the meeting room, the three of them fiddling like nervous children, afraid that they might have to suspend plans of debuting forever.
“As you know… B.A.C happened and not only do they happen to have the same-ish concept as you, their name even sounds similar. Now we can’t have that, can we? Plus their popularity is off the charts, so we can’t risk getting blamed for copying them. I’m putting Himchan in charge of re-styling.”
Himchan looked triumphant. He never really liked hip hop anyway, baggy pants were not in season. But Junhong’s expression made it seem like a limb had been rudely torn from his body.
“Why can’t we just change our name? I mean if our name sounds different, maybe people won’t accuse us for copying… It’s not like we’re the only ones with hip-hop concept anyways…”
There was a great pause around the room. Youngjae’s jaw hung open because the baby of the group just said something unusually intelligent. Youngjae nodded furiously, making eye contact with each and every board member, ensuring that all of them could see that his neck was close to snapping. He was desperate. They had worked so long on the concept, he even lost his baby fat because apparently baby fat wasn’t very hip hop.
“No, silly maknae… Everyone knows that changing the whole concept would be much less tedious… Besides, we already printed your names on thousands of these temporary tattoos how cool are they?”
Manager Kang, god forbid, lifted his shirt and shifted in his seat, showing off his “B.A.P” tramp stamp to the whole board of directors. Youngjae never wants to see Manager Kang’s buttcrack ever again.
And so they were to be renamed Best Absolute Princesses after Himchan’s show-off session in Manager Kang’s office. Everyone was satisfied and Himchan got a standing ovation when presenting his idea to the board of directors. Apparently a princess theme would suit their ice-cream powers better than a hip-hop concept. Wow, who knew right? And that was the day Youngjae cried after 12 years of being a strong boy (he had sworn off crying since he turned 7. Junhong cried too, but that happened pretty often, so no one really took notice.
“Here are your rings, you’ve earned them. Now go show the world the power of genteelness!”
Youngjae cringed when he saw that the rings were pink and there was a little tiara at the top. Whatever, he had longed for a ring like that since he had first started out as a trainee. TS's secret weapon- an edge over the other companies. A ring that would allow him to magically transform into a more powerful form, a winged one, and he had a little matching mace to go with, it was about the length of his arm and helped project his powers. There was an elaborate crown piece and Youngjae loved it. It was awesome and nothing could spoil that moment for him. Not until he realized that he was going to be in his drag outfit after transformation and that they’d probably program the wings he was going to get to match the outfit. Yup, that spoiled it for him. Youngjae could feel his hormones shifting in is blood stream, his frown tightening, lips stretching into a thin line. He suddenly felt pissed off beyond comprehension.
The first assignment B.A.P had was a sewer monster, a common problem, like the local rat infestation. The media was going to be there, and the adoring citizens who they had to convince that they were worthy enough for attention. Rookie groups have it bad nowadays, with the surge in number of groups debuting. Youngjae just hopes there would be enough monsters for all of them to slay. When they arrived, another group was already there, trying to launch a pack attack on the monster, half-man-half-wolf form menacing and alert. The trio slipped on their rings and transformed, not before their mandatory dance which Himchan himself took the liberty of choreographing. They could have done some krumping, or tutting, or a manly body wave would suffice, but no. It had to be complex, and they had to twirl and do multiple shimmies and tongue actions. No one actually did the tongue action though, only Himchan. After their elaborate transformation process, the boy group abruptly stopped what they were doing and laughed, furry ears perked up atop their heads and tails thumping on the floor. The guffawing went on for pretty long and thankfully the sewer monster wasn’t too bright, or they’d all be dead already. Youngjae recognized them. He had seen them on TV, a pretty talented bunch of rookies, excellent control of their werewolf powers. He just forgot their name.
“We are V! V-I-X- VIXX!”
Oh yeah VIXX. An acronym for Voice, Visual and Value in- WHO GIVES A FUCK. Youngjae was not in the mood to be laughed at. It took a jab in his side from Junhong to realize that he had been glaring daggers at his sunbae-nims.
“Oh god, oh god… We’re sorry! We were just… Uhm… Startled by your uhm…” The red-haired leader of the group gestured to all of their bodies and attempted to hide his laughter behind a friendly sunbae smile. “We’ll just let you guys handle this one. Oh and watch out for this guy’s pits. They spew acid…”
With that, they were gone, the one with the ashen brown hair turned around and gave one last accidental snicker before getting into the van with the rest of his group. Sure they could run off in their werewolf forms, it would probably be faster. But that wasn't very glamorous, being driven around in a van and emerging in big, showy sunglasses was.
“Freaks...” Youngjae muttered under his breath.
“Awww it’s okay baby… They’re just jealous. Now let’s go!” Himchan chirped, slinging his mace over his shoulder. Even their maces were sparkly and shit. He was sure the coordi noonas went a bit overboard with the bedazzler.
“Wait! Don’t we have a plan, hyung?” Junhong was thumping the mace on his chin. He did that when he was nervous or when he was thinking. Youngjae wouldn’t want to be around should their maknae accidentally chops off his mouth one day with the metal edge.
“Uhm… Stay alive, be fabulous? Okay great now let’s go!”
Himchan took off and Youngjae swore with the foulest word he knew because he was sure he did not sign up to see up Himchan’s short black skirt when he signed his contract. Himchan even took the effort to put on a pair of lace panties. Youngjae wanted to die. He tugged his skirt lower as he took off after his hyung. It wouldn’t really matter if his skirt flew up, because at least he had the decency to put on a pair of tights, but then again, the tights rode up his ass crack. The cameras started flashing away and Youngjae could hear the distant chatter of the crowd talking them. Fighting real monsters was different from the simulation exercises they had back with their company. Everything was more dynamic, the cheers of the crowd below, the camera flashes, the wild roar of the wind against their ears. And everything was a whole lot more dangerous, the rush of adrenaline was undeniable. As Youngjae ducks a pitful of burning acid, he understood why the company insisted on tons of insurance. In case they you know… The “D” word was forbidden in their industry, kind of like how you weren’t supposed to say Macbeth in theatre.
The slaying went better than expected with Himchan making a final flamboyant twirl before filling its gut up with a final wave of chocolate ice-cream. The crowd went wild and soon scraps of paper were being pushed into their hands- autographs! Youngjae made sure to sign each and every one.
“He has the nicest ass… That one! He’s totally my bias!”
“SHUT THE HELL UP!”
Youngjae shouted and whipped his head around, scanning the sea of faces for the owner of that voice, smile steadily trickling out of his face. His fingers immediately shot to the hem of his skirt, trying to get it to settle down over his butt.
“Ooooh… He has personality… I like that…”
The man in the crowd whistled, flashing a predatory grin at Youngjae. He was slightly older than Himchan, slightly plump and his hair stood in a Mohawk.
“I WILL PERSONALIZE YOUR ASS!”
Youngjae screamed and thrashed as his group mates pulled him away into the company van. Himchan leaned over and whispered in his ear.
“Looks like you have a fan, babyjae!”
“Shut up.”
Youngjae took a long shower when they got back to the dorms and other than the fact that hundreds of people were ogling at his butt, everything went pretty well. In all honesty he was happy to be fighting monsters and witches in real life. He was starting to get grossed out by the fake blood that TS used as an added effect for realism. Real blood so does not stick to your hair for days. He sighed and put on his sweatpants. Freedom at last.
“HYUNG! HYUNG! HYUNG! WE’RE ON TV!”
Youngjae scrambled out to the living room, only to be greeted by Himchan in only his boxers and Junhong bouncing up and down on the couch, pointing excitedly at the screen. The news report introduced them pretty well, at least they got all their names right. Youngjae pitied the rookie groups who had their names mixed up. Then again they only had three members.
“And this is Yoo Youngjae, his power is vanilla ice-cream apparently and the member in charge of cuteness in B.A.P… But oops… Looks like Youngjae’s not very happy with all the attention he gets with that outfit!”
The news anchor heaved as she snorted at her own joke. What a cow. Junhong shook Youngjae’s arm, trying to pry his burning gaze away from the screen.
“Hyung, I think you should try and be nicer…”
“It’s alright, Junhong! We’re not manner-dols. That’s not our concept. Youngjae can be sassy all he likes!”
But Youngjae didn’t want to be sassy. He wanted to wear pants. And a shirt that didn’t threaten to reveal his nipples every few seconds.
B.A.P was soon rising the popularity ranks, threatening to topple B.A.C from the popularity charts. Apparently the cute concept works too. Plus Youngjae was sure people had developed a perverse inclination towards boys in drag over the years. Nonetheless, that had been their goal from the start- to make B.A.C their rival and beat them, for unknowingly stealing their concept. Their manly concept. But it wasn’t until their fifth or sixth monster battle that they actually meet them in person. It was a witch this time, she was as huge as a building and both groups had arrived at the scene at the same time.
“We are B- A, C, yes sir!”
They greeted enthusiastically and B.A.P bowed back. It was acceptable for rookies to not have a greeting within the first month of debut. B.A.C was a strange group. They were ordinary people, no significant powers whatsoever, unless you count bulging muscles as a power, which explained their need for weapons. Youngjae recognized their faces- he also knew their names. There were only three members and they looked worlds apart which made everything easy. There was Yongguk, the leader, the one with the bigass smile and the gums. There was Jongup, the maknae of the group and the clueless dork. And then there was Daehyun, the visual with the ugly face (in Youngjae’s opinion).
“I guess we can do it together, since both our fans are already here.” Yongguk said, expression completely serious. He was a boring one, Youngjae could tell. And he patiently waited for his trusty Himchan hyung to retort, to somehow insist that they were here first and demand that they handle the situation themselves. But his idiot hyung stuttered an 'okay'. Great. Transformation was painful, especially with hundreds of eyes glued to you as fairy princess wings sprout out from your shoulder blade and your body becomes hideously exposed what with the stupid outfits. Youngjae could’ve sworn that Daehyun’s eyes were lingering on his body a little longer than they should have as he made his final twirl and pointed his mace exactly 110 degrees towards the sky victoriously and chimed in a “B.A.P UNITE! AJA AJA HWAITING!” with his group members. They emerged from the shower of gold glitter and took off majestically, not without throwing some winks towards the crowd- all in the name of fan service. They defeated the witch successfully, ice-cream running off into the drains at the sides of the street. They had to admit, B.A.C were pretty proficient with their big guns. But Youngjae wasn’t impressed. Not especially with Himchan giggling at whatever Yongguk says and Junhong bouncing over to say hi to Jongup. Hi my name’s Junhong! You’re a year older than me right? A hyung? Wow… That’s cool! Youngjae wanted to tell Junhong to drop the act because he had two hyungs (only one is functional though) around him all the time and he never acted so impressed around them. Junhong must have noticed Jongup's arms. Not that they could avoid seeing it even if they wanted. That was their selling point. Junhong was always going on and on about upper body strength to his group members. Youngjae wondered how long it would take for him to realize one of his hyungs couldn't gain muscle mass no matter how hard he tried and the other liked muscles on his men, not on himself.
“Hi, I’m Daehyun! We’re the same age…”
Shit. Youngjae tried to look busy, taking interest in everything around him. Posing for pictures for the adoring fans, fixing his hair in the mirror, playing with the hem of his skirt. But Daehyun wouldn’t stop bugging him. Youngjae wished either one of their vans would come faster because people were starting to take photos of them. Together. B.A.P and their rival group interacting with one another. Oh yes, the fans were definitely going to like that. Youngjae shuddered.
“Damn…”
“WHAT?”
Youngjae finally replied, nostrils flared, hands clenched into fists, ready to punch the next person who dares approach him. He wasn’t in the mood. Then again he was never in the mood, not when he was wearing his skirt.
“If being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!”
Daehyun gave the most nervous grin in the world and Youngjae did not think it was cute at all. Nope. Not one bit. He straightened his blouse and shot a condescending smile at the boy.
“You need to work on your material… Goodbye forever…”
Youngjae slid into the van and closed the door in Daehyun’s face, winding his window up as they drove off, leaving the poor brunette rooted on the side of the road. He looked like he was about to cry.
“Daehyun, close your mouth and hurry your ass. Van’s here.”
Yongguk tugged Daehyun away from his spot, earning a giggle from Jongup.
“I don’t think Youngjae likes me very much though…” Daehyun said, apprehensive. He was the Jung Daehyun. Girls would fight for his undergarments- Daehyun learnt this through a very painful experience back at their old dorm.
“Did you forget to flex, hyung? You know people like it when you flex while blowing out the tip of the gun…”
Jongup said innocently and Daehyun could only sigh, hand on the roof of the van, eyes fixated on the disappearing “B.A.P” logo on the now distant vehicle.
“Daehyun… You can think about your absent love life later… Get in the van…” Yongguk urged, fixing the stuffed animal pillow around his neck and strapping his tigger in the booster seat. “Oh and pick up that litter on the floor before you come in.”
(A/N: ♥special thanks to Lynn for educating me about animes with people fighting monsters in them<3)
Characters: B.A.P, brief mention of VIXX
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and boys in short skirts
Word Count: 3472
Summary: Youngjae didn’t want to be sassy. He wanted to wear pants. And a shirt that didn’t threaten to reveal his nipples every few seconds.
A/N: Written for crazybananatr3e! Inspired by a twitter conversation I had with her about sailormoon!BAP. Happy birthday unzwunz! I love you loads<3 There will be more parts to this! (Sorry for my limited knowledge on superpowers and stuff.)
❇❇❇
Written in a universe where Superheroism has become an industry, with new groups debuting under different concepts, all scrambling for popularity and fame. Fandoms, OTPs and sassy managers all apply. They're heroes essentially, preserving the sanctity of human life. Just your average boys trying to find the balance between looking good and saving the day. All in the name of justice and sweat-proof concealer. ❇❇❇
Youngjae was a thinker. He thought a lot. There were usually at least five thoughts running simultaneously through his mind at any one time. Impossible questions to solve, mysteries of the universe, calculus... He tried to think when this all started. What had he done in the past to provoke such divine punishment? Perhaps it was the time he took pictures of Junhong drooling on his pillow to blackmail him. Or it could be when he accidentally spilled cola all over his mom’s favourite cushion cover. Or maybe it was the time he discovered he had the power to materialize chocolate ice-cream from thin air. Yup, it must have been that. That opened up the doors to so much embarrassment before he realized- hey, dropping vehicle-sized dollops of chocolate ice-cream on people could be deadly too. Especially if they had sensitive teeth. So Yoo Youngjae managed to get people to respect him and his unique gift. Drowning in chocolate ice-cream wasn't fun. But now, one dominant thought ran through his mind, eliminating all the other little pockets of deliberation-
"Fuck."
He accidentally (okay maybe rather purposefully) let the word slip past his lips as he looked down at his outfit. His outfit. The outfit of a whore. The short pleated school girl skirt fanning out to barely cover his ass, the off-shoulder blouse that threatened to sag lower than it already did and the god damned shoes they were sparkly for God's sake.
"Watch your language Yoo Youngjae! And stop pulling at your uniform! You're going to crease the fabric!"
"Hyung. This is not a uniform. It sure as hell isn't my uniform! I'm pretty I didn't sign up to be a slut."
Youngjae's voice had gotten impossibly high from the insane level of stress he was feeling. He needed a drink. A really strong one. Yes please, hold the ice.
"At least yours isn't plaid, hyung..."
Junhong mumbles, looking rather downcast in his sleeveless top and pink plaid skirt. Himchan chirped his reply, saying something about plaid being adorable and how pink was well matched with junhong's hair and something about Youngjae not knowing the true meaning of a whore's outfit. Youngjae never wanted to know what a true whore's outfit looked like. He never wants to see Himchan hyung's collection of outfits his mother should have taught him never to wear.
"Who put you in charge anyways?"
Youngjae held the skirt closer between his legs and cursed Himchan for not having the decency to even give them stockings. (Notice how Youngjae has lowered his standards and stopped complaining about being dressed in drag).
"The company, duh… I'm the oldest, the most fashionable and the smartest. I'm the obvious choice for commander! Now shut up and twirl for hyung!"
Both boys rolled their eyes, turning around awkwardly for Himchan to inspect their outfits. Whatever. Life sucks anyways.
The look on Manager Kang's face when they enter his office renewed a sense of hope within the two maknaes. Maybe, he thought that this was a shitty idea too. After all, Manager Kang looked shocked beyond his wits. Junhong shifted closer to Youngjae, like as if the combined strength of both their wounded puppy dog looks would help convince manager kang that this was utterly, terribly, horribly-
"Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Great job Himchan!"
"WHAT?!?!"
The collaborative scream echoed in the room and Manager Kang has to cover his ears in pain because, boy could they scream.
"Jesus! Do you mind? And what's wrong? I think this look would sell. It's unique and none of the other boy groups have tried this yet. It's settled you're sticking with this look! Or we'll delay your debut indefinitely!"
That's cos' boys don't wear skirts and off shoulder shirts... Youngjae kept that in his mind though, he wanted so bad to escape trainee life. The thought of living in a smallish dorm and practicing day in day out, Youngjae with his power over chocolate ice-cream, Junhong with strawberry ice-cream and Himchan with vanilla ice-cream. With the only joy being chugging hot ramen down their throats straight from the pot after training. Hell they were going to debut! Even if that meant embarrassing outfits that threatened to reveal their sensitive man parts.
They were going to be called B.A.P. Initially it had stood for Best Absolute Princes. It was tacky, completely cheesy, almost gag-worthy, but fine by Youngjae. They were going to be princes after all, princes of the hip hop concept and all things cool- huge metal chains, baggy shirts, slacked pants blah blah blah, Manager Kang was an expert nagger.
Until that other group beat them to their debut- B.A.C. No one knew what it stood for, and everyone decided to leave it at that, thinking that it was just three random letters chosen by a bunch of old people with little knowledge on the English language. B.A.C had been appearing frequently on TV, in a series of public service videos telling people to pick up trash, give up their seats to old people, hold their hands up when they cross the roads and what not. And Youngjae was amazed they even managed to garner such a mass of followers. Them with their black wife-beaters and obnoxious gold chains, loose pants and branded boxer shorts showing at the hem. People sure were getting dense nowadays. When B.A.C came, the rest of the world crashed down upon the protagonist-trio. Youngjae still remembered the day they were called into the meeting room, the three of them fiddling like nervous children, afraid that they might have to suspend plans of debuting forever.
“As you know… B.A.C happened and not only do they happen to have the same-ish concept as you, their name even sounds similar. Now we can’t have that, can we? Plus their popularity is off the charts, so we can’t risk getting blamed for copying them. I’m putting Himchan in charge of re-styling.”
Himchan looked triumphant. He never really liked hip hop anyway, baggy pants were not in season. But Junhong’s expression made it seem like a limb had been rudely torn from his body.
“Why can’t we just change our name? I mean if our name sounds different, maybe people won’t accuse us for copying… It’s not like we’re the only ones with hip-hop concept anyways…”
There was a great pause around the room. Youngjae’s jaw hung open because the baby of the group just said something unusually intelligent. Youngjae nodded furiously, making eye contact with each and every board member, ensuring that all of them could see that his neck was close to snapping. He was desperate. They had worked so long on the concept, he even lost his baby fat because apparently baby fat wasn’t very hip hop.
“No, silly maknae… Everyone knows that changing the whole concept would be much less tedious… Besides, we already printed your names on thousands of these temporary tattoos how cool are they?”
Manager Kang, god forbid, lifted his shirt and shifted in his seat, showing off his “B.A.P” tramp stamp to the whole board of directors. Youngjae never wants to see Manager Kang’s buttcrack ever again.
And so they were to be renamed Best Absolute Princesses after Himchan’s show-off session in Manager Kang’s office. Everyone was satisfied and Himchan got a standing ovation when presenting his idea to the board of directors. Apparently a princess theme would suit their ice-cream powers better than a hip-hop concept. Wow, who knew right? And that was the day Youngjae cried after 12 years of being a strong boy (he had sworn off crying since he turned 7. Junhong cried too, but that happened pretty often, so no one really took notice.
“Here are your rings, you’ve earned them. Now go show the world the power of genteelness!”
Youngjae cringed when he saw that the rings were pink and there was a little tiara at the top. Whatever, he had longed for a ring like that since he had first started out as a trainee. TS's secret weapon- an edge over the other companies. A ring that would allow him to magically transform into a more powerful form, a winged one, and he had a little matching mace to go with, it was about the length of his arm and helped project his powers. There was an elaborate crown piece and Youngjae loved it. It was awesome and nothing could spoil that moment for him. Not until he realized that he was going to be in his drag outfit after transformation and that they’d probably program the wings he was going to get to match the outfit. Yup, that spoiled it for him. Youngjae could feel his hormones shifting in is blood stream, his frown tightening, lips stretching into a thin line. He suddenly felt pissed off beyond comprehension.
The first assignment B.A.P had was a sewer monster, a common problem, like the local rat infestation. The media was going to be there, and the adoring citizens who they had to convince that they were worthy enough for attention. Rookie groups have it bad nowadays, with the surge in number of groups debuting. Youngjae just hopes there would be enough monsters for all of them to slay. When they arrived, another group was already there, trying to launch a pack attack on the monster, half-man-half-wolf form menacing and alert. The trio slipped on their rings and transformed, not before their mandatory dance which Himchan himself took the liberty of choreographing. They could have done some krumping, or tutting, or a manly body wave would suffice, but no. It had to be complex, and they had to twirl and do multiple shimmies and tongue actions. No one actually did the tongue action though, only Himchan. After their elaborate transformation process, the boy group abruptly stopped what they were doing and laughed, furry ears perked up atop their heads and tails thumping on the floor. The guffawing went on for pretty long and thankfully the sewer monster wasn’t too bright, or they’d all be dead already. Youngjae recognized them. He had seen them on TV, a pretty talented bunch of rookies, excellent control of their werewolf powers. He just forgot their name.
“We are V! V-I-X- VIXX!”
Oh yeah VIXX. An acronym for Voice, Visual and Value in- WHO GIVES A FUCK. Youngjae was not in the mood to be laughed at. It took a jab in his side from Junhong to realize that he had been glaring daggers at his sunbae-nims.
“Oh god, oh god… We’re sorry! We were just… Uhm… Startled by your uhm…” The red-haired leader of the group gestured to all of their bodies and attempted to hide his laughter behind a friendly sunbae smile. “We’ll just let you guys handle this one. Oh and watch out for this guy’s pits. They spew acid…”
With that, they were gone, the one with the ashen brown hair turned around and gave one last accidental snicker before getting into the van with the rest of his group. Sure they could run off in their werewolf forms, it would probably be faster. But that wasn't very glamorous, being driven around in a van and emerging in big, showy sunglasses was.
“Freaks...” Youngjae muttered under his breath.
“Awww it’s okay baby… They’re just jealous. Now let’s go!” Himchan chirped, slinging his mace over his shoulder. Even their maces were sparkly and shit. He was sure the coordi noonas went a bit overboard with the bedazzler.
“Wait! Don’t we have a plan, hyung?” Junhong was thumping the mace on his chin. He did that when he was nervous or when he was thinking. Youngjae wouldn’t want to be around should their maknae accidentally chops off his mouth one day with the metal edge.
“Uhm… Stay alive, be fabulous? Okay great now let’s go!”
Himchan took off and Youngjae swore with the foulest word he knew because he was sure he did not sign up to see up Himchan’s short black skirt when he signed his contract. Himchan even took the effort to put on a pair of lace panties. Youngjae wanted to die. He tugged his skirt lower as he took off after his hyung. It wouldn’t really matter if his skirt flew up, because at least he had the decency to put on a pair of tights, but then again, the tights rode up his ass crack. The cameras started flashing away and Youngjae could hear the distant chatter of the crowd talking them. Fighting real monsters was different from the simulation exercises they had back with their company. Everything was more dynamic, the cheers of the crowd below, the camera flashes, the wild roar of the wind against their ears. And everything was a whole lot more dangerous, the rush of adrenaline was undeniable. As Youngjae ducks a pitful of burning acid, he understood why the company insisted on tons of insurance. In case they you know… The “D” word was forbidden in their industry, kind of like how you weren’t supposed to say Macbeth in theatre.
The slaying went better than expected with Himchan making a final flamboyant twirl before filling its gut up with a final wave of chocolate ice-cream. The crowd went wild and soon scraps of paper were being pushed into their hands- autographs! Youngjae made sure to sign each and every one.
“He has the nicest ass… That one! He’s totally my bias!”
“SHUT THE HELL UP!”
Youngjae shouted and whipped his head around, scanning the sea of faces for the owner of that voice, smile steadily trickling out of his face. His fingers immediately shot to the hem of his skirt, trying to get it to settle down over his butt.
“Ooooh… He has personality… I like that…”
The man in the crowd whistled, flashing a predatory grin at Youngjae. He was slightly older than Himchan, slightly plump and his hair stood in a Mohawk.
“I WILL PERSONALIZE YOUR ASS!”
Youngjae screamed and thrashed as his group mates pulled him away into the company van. Himchan leaned over and whispered in his ear.
“Looks like you have a fan, babyjae!”
“Shut up.”
Youngjae took a long shower when they got back to the dorms and other than the fact that hundreds of people were ogling at his butt, everything went pretty well. In all honesty he was happy to be fighting monsters and witches in real life. He was starting to get grossed out by the fake blood that TS used as an added effect for realism. Real blood so does not stick to your hair for days. He sighed and put on his sweatpants. Freedom at last.
“HYUNG! HYUNG! HYUNG! WE’RE ON TV!”
Youngjae scrambled out to the living room, only to be greeted by Himchan in only his boxers and Junhong bouncing up and down on the couch, pointing excitedly at the screen. The news report introduced them pretty well, at least they got all their names right. Youngjae pitied the rookie groups who had their names mixed up. Then again they only had three members.
“And this is Yoo Youngjae, his power is vanilla ice-cream apparently and the member in charge of cuteness in B.A.P… But oops… Looks like Youngjae’s not very happy with all the attention he gets with that outfit!”
The news anchor heaved as she snorted at her own joke. What a cow. Junhong shook Youngjae’s arm, trying to pry his burning gaze away from the screen.
“Hyung, I think you should try and be nicer…”
“It’s alright, Junhong! We’re not manner-dols. That’s not our concept. Youngjae can be sassy all he likes!”
But Youngjae didn’t want to be sassy. He wanted to wear pants. And a shirt that didn’t threaten to reveal his nipples every few seconds.
B.A.P was soon rising the popularity ranks, threatening to topple B.A.C from the popularity charts. Apparently the cute concept works too. Plus Youngjae was sure people had developed a perverse inclination towards boys in drag over the years. Nonetheless, that had been their goal from the start- to make B.A.C their rival and beat them, for unknowingly stealing their concept. Their manly concept. But it wasn’t until their fifth or sixth monster battle that they actually meet them in person. It was a witch this time, she was as huge as a building and both groups had arrived at the scene at the same time.
“We are B- A, C, yes sir!”
They greeted enthusiastically and B.A.P bowed back. It was acceptable for rookies to not have a greeting within the first month of debut. B.A.C was a strange group. They were ordinary people, no significant powers whatsoever, unless you count bulging muscles as a power, which explained their need for weapons. Youngjae recognized their faces- he also knew their names. There were only three members and they looked worlds apart which made everything easy. There was Yongguk, the leader, the one with the bigass smile and the gums. There was Jongup, the maknae of the group and the clueless dork. And then there was Daehyun, the visual with the ugly face (in Youngjae’s opinion).
“I guess we can do it together, since both our fans are already here.” Yongguk said, expression completely serious. He was a boring one, Youngjae could tell. And he patiently waited for his trusty Himchan hyung to retort, to somehow insist that they were here first and demand that they handle the situation themselves. But his idiot hyung stuttered an 'okay'. Great. Transformation was painful, especially with hundreds of eyes glued to you as fairy princess wings sprout out from your shoulder blade and your body becomes hideously exposed what with the stupid outfits. Youngjae could’ve sworn that Daehyun’s eyes were lingering on his body a little longer than they should have as he made his final twirl and pointed his mace exactly 110 degrees towards the sky victoriously and chimed in a “B.A.P UNITE! AJA AJA HWAITING!” with his group members. They emerged from the shower of gold glitter and took off majestically, not without throwing some winks towards the crowd- all in the name of fan service. They defeated the witch successfully, ice-cream running off into the drains at the sides of the street. They had to admit, B.A.C were pretty proficient with their big guns. But Youngjae wasn’t impressed. Not especially with Himchan giggling at whatever Yongguk says and Junhong bouncing over to say hi to Jongup. Hi my name’s Junhong! You’re a year older than me right? A hyung? Wow… That’s cool! Youngjae wanted to tell Junhong to drop the act because he had two hyungs (only one is functional though) around him all the time and he never acted so impressed around them. Junhong must have noticed Jongup's arms. Not that they could avoid seeing it even if they wanted. That was their selling point. Junhong was always going on and on about upper body strength to his group members. Youngjae wondered how long it would take for him to realize one of his hyungs couldn't gain muscle mass no matter how hard he tried and the other liked muscles on his men, not on himself.
“Hi, I’m Daehyun! We’re the same age…”
Shit. Youngjae tried to look busy, taking interest in everything around him. Posing for pictures for the adoring fans, fixing his hair in the mirror, playing with the hem of his skirt. But Daehyun wouldn’t stop bugging him. Youngjae wished either one of their vans would come faster because people were starting to take photos of them. Together. B.A.P and their rival group interacting with one another. Oh yes, the fans were definitely going to like that. Youngjae shuddered.
“Damn…”
“WHAT?”
Youngjae finally replied, nostrils flared, hands clenched into fists, ready to punch the next person who dares approach him. He wasn’t in the mood. Then again he was never in the mood, not when he was wearing his skirt.
“If being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!”
Daehyun gave the most nervous grin in the world and Youngjae did not think it was cute at all. Nope. Not one bit. He straightened his blouse and shot a condescending smile at the boy.
“You need to work on your material… Goodbye forever…”
Youngjae slid into the van and closed the door in Daehyun’s face, winding his window up as they drove off, leaving the poor brunette rooted on the side of the road. He looked like he was about to cry.
“Daehyun, close your mouth and hurry your ass. Van’s here.”
Yongguk tugged Daehyun away from his spot, earning a giggle from Jongup.
“I don’t think Youngjae likes me very much though…” Daehyun said, apprehensive. He was the Jung Daehyun. Girls would fight for his undergarments- Daehyun learnt this through a very painful experience back at their old dorm.
“Did you forget to flex, hyung? You know people like it when you flex while blowing out the tip of the gun…”
Jongup said innocently and Daehyun could only sigh, hand on the roof of the van, eyes fixated on the disappearing “B.A.P” logo on the now distant vehicle.
“Daehyun… You can think about your absent love life later… Get in the van…” Yongguk urged, fixing the stuffed animal pillow around his neck and strapping his tigger in the booster seat. “Oh and pick up that litter on the floor before you come in.”
(A/N: ♥special thanks to Lynn for educating me about animes with people fighting monsters in them<3)