(no subject)
school life sucks a bunch i hate parts of my life right now. i dont have control of certain things and the one person who i love and they know who they are i cant show it like i used to could have. its like something is holdin me back and it aint that i dont love her anymore. i guess the bottom line like i always say is im scared and there isnt anything that can change that and she constantly threatens to break up and leave with out coming back and givin everything back, well im sorry it has gotten like this but once you cry wolf so many times the villagers arent gonna run to the rescue. i mean the major thing is i let things happen to me and put me in certain positions that i thought i wouldn't ever be in. I just can't leave like she was just another bitch but she keep pushin me to do so with the comments she say. I dont like fightin or being mad at her at all like it hurts me to have to get loud and ugly with her but if i let her walk all over me then where is my self-respect? Plus i been there and that didnt work. i just dont know what to do cause im not enough for her and i hate that i cause her to be so upset and misurable all the time. its like im the problem and she does deserve better if i treat her the way she say i do.