what is wrong with me?
i dont know how to explain the way i feel . its an emotion i cant explain i haven't been like this before. i could always gauge or just know what is going on with me even though i may say i dont know, but this time its foreal i DONT know! i should be happy cause im finally moving out of my parents house. its a dream come ture. But im not im.......what is this fuckin feeling im having? i dont know its like i have been so sad lately that im stuck in a state that im blank thats what it is im blank. i dont know what to do to make me happy i cant make shira happy. all i feel like im doing if fuckin things up and i really dont want to. i love her with all of the pieces of my heart that i have put back together its just so hard to gather the remains. i dont want to loose what he had im just trying to find what we had and rekindle it in the midst of all the bullshit that we keep going through. Its just gonna take some MAJOR sacarafices on both ends to get where we want to be, but i wont make anything big until she has no limit to what she will try. then she will have the all from me. Its just so hard to be like i was with out any limits to what i would do and hella patients cause the first break up i can see was partial my fault but when we united again and i put my all in it cause it was some of my fault. the second was all her wanting to have fun and be with her friends and not have to worry about having to cater to my needs as well as her friends. so now im discouraged about the next time. I need major assurance now. i will sacrafice just about anything but shit i need the same from her. i have always been and always will be on 50/50 love type shit. you show me and i will show you. what you do to me expect it for you. that can go good or bad depends on the action. i just want love to be the only action.