(no subject)
France
At first, I was going to post a semi-angry tirade about the protests of the olympic torch...and then I remembered back to my friend David Huang, a photographer who had recently taken up the cause of overseas Tibetans, and those living here in exile. I am confused by all of this. The logic I use to defend my gut reaction at times sounds like a white apologist.
I am not a decision maker in any of this. I, like many times in my political life, feel absolutely impotent in make any change. This makes me want to make fun of those that want to make change. However, there is something undeniably ironic that protestors of the torch are stopped by their own police, beaten and dragged and prevented from interferring with a symbol of peace in the "free world". What is freedom? Economic freedom? Freedom of expression? Freedom to watch youtube? Freedom to eat a nourishing meal?
Ultimately, after all this anger and frustration, I'm saddened. I'm saddened that I can't come to a resolution for all of this. I am who I am. Chinese born in America that has a growing love, admiration and wonder about a place I'm beginning to get to know. I am an American of another ancestry that is still looking and building towards that golden opportunity known as the elusive American Dream that I thought was impossibilty with my own parents as living proofs. I am 28, and pragmatic, I no longer want to deal with politics, only resolution.
my original thoughts are behind the cut. I think I'm just processing outloud.
This is an open letter to those who seek a boycott to America’s (and others) participation in the Olympics this summer in Beijing, China. I have felt incredibly ambivalent about the rhetoric surrounding this massive event, along with the symbolic arrival of the Olympic torch to San Francisco, and all of the backlash that has occurred with protests on the Golden Gate Bridge as well as a resolution by the City’s Board of Supervisors. As more of my friends and acquaintances have started a dialogue with me about this controversy, I have been compelled to express my own personal viewpoint.
The closer we near this moment of time, I have begun questioning myself about my feelings towards of whether or not to be openly supportive of China’s hosting of the Olympics and it’s thrust onto the world stage. This question is something I’ve grown up asking myself on a consistent basis as a Chinese American, not something as simple as choosing between either whole identity, but rather, as a hybrid of both nationalities, can I take pride in the history, culture and even politics of these respective countries as my own. Is there a necessary association? Perhaps a better question is if this identity is already thrust upon me?
Chinese Consciousness
In “On the China Road” by Rob Gifford, a former correspondent for National Public Radio, he writes about a shared Chinese consciousness of the majority of ethnic Han Chinese called the “Old One Hundred Names.” This consciousness can be best described as a “chip on the shoulder” over a history of rule by foreign powers that goes back into the dynastic ages right up to the age of Western Imperialism. This anger is a shared sentiment that can be felt by a generation that watched the Bruce Lee classic film, “The Chinese Connection” or “Fist of Legend” starring Jet Li. This may be simplistic, but it is characteristic.
As a people, whether Chinese or Chinese American, we have been shaped by our history. Because of war, famine, poverty, it is a direct reason that generations of us have been displaced from our homes, ancestral homes, places that go back centuries. This displacement has been the singular constant to Chinese identity, and even more accelerated in the modern age. As more and more people are moving from the countryside to the cities to fulfill the nation’s drive to modern development, the social fabric is shifting, yet the economic benefits are unmistakable.
There is a bit of this chip on our shoulder when we show our nationalism. Granted, I’ve always cringed at any hint of nationalism expressed in ways of competition as they often come off as arrogant, sometimes racist, and sometimes fascist. There was a moment when I was a child and wanted the easiest way to express my Chinese identity and was confused by the different flag and the explanation that the red one I chose to draw was the communist governments and subtly warned that it was inappropriate.
What I and many of my other Chinese American friends and colleagues cannot stand is the guilt by association accusations of wanting to enjoy the moment, but being called supporters of genocide. It's like we woke up one day and were suddenly attached by the same leftists I thought of as friends and allies. This is the ambiguity of politics.
Please explain all of this to the scores of old Chinatown ladies and gents that woke up this morning, put on their hats, purchased a small plastic China flag in hopes of seeing the Olympic torch.
This is not an acceptance plea to overlook a lump sum chastisement of crimes against humanity.
For me, all I wanted to do is participate and be witness to a celebration of memory, sorrow and hope, to mark the passage of time and heal very personal and deep wounds that exist throughout our consciousness.
And you know what, I honestly didn’t give a rats ass about the Olympics before this, I stopped watching when I was 12.