Debbie Soper
This weekend, the world lost an amazing woman. My brother, Michael lost his Mom. Losing a mother, for a son, is never an easy thing. It's an age old cautionary tale, never come between a boy and his mother, and even death should fear it.
I've known Michael for about 15 years now and I've known his Mom just as long. For many, many years we lived right across the street from her. In that time I got the chance to meet and become a surrogate son to an extraordinary woman. Michael never had a father that he knew of. And his Mom raised him on her own. I'm sure considering the times and her age that she was told by many that she couldn't do it on her own, that Michael wouldn't get what he needed to become a fully functioning and well adjusted member of society. They couldn't have been more wrong... See, there is one thing I know about the Soper family that many probably do not... They persevere. I truly thing if you trace their linage back to ancient times, you'll find that somewhere along the line there is Mule and Bull DNA. Because stubbornness is bone deep in this family. And as frustrating as that can be, it does give them what is needed to achieve any goal when they set their sites on it. I know Michael didn't have a lot, materially growing up, but he was given a wealth of what he needed in personality traits. She raised a well adjusted, loyal and honorable man. One that I personally, have always looked up to like an older brother. And that comes from how his Mom raised him. She taught him that it's not the niceties you have in life that make a home or a good person, but who you are and who you surround yourself with.
Debbie never had a lot, but she was never afraid to share what she did with those she loved. Every Christmas, she would have a present for me. It was anything large, it was a hand knitted tree ornament and a couple dollars, but it was from the heart and it meant the world to me. Especially because I wasn't her blood and she didn't need to do anything for me. But, she always did and treated me like family. When we experienced the fire that took our home and my babies, she took care of us. And handled me as gently as a babe in swaddling clothes. Showing that beneath a gruff exterior was was a mother that would take care of her children when they were hurt and needed it. I am still grateful to this day for that.
But, at the end of the day, her son and his happiness was the center of her world. The sun rose and set on him to her. Her love for him knew no bounds and even though she didn't always know the best way to express it, she was and is so very proud of him and all he has accomplished. From his time serving our country, to his career with the State, to his pending graduation from college, to his black belt, to the family he has built and the son he has fathered.
Losing a mother, any family member, is the hardest thing in the world. You always wonder about all the things unsaid, all the things unexperienced and all the things that you never got a chance to do. Finding solace is hard knowing that someone you talked to every day and shared the highs and lows of your life with is no longer there to share that connection with.
However, I can say this to give some sense of peace. Debbie may no longer be here physically, but I know from losing my Mom that she is in spirit. And know that she left us with a full heart. She left knowing her son has a loving family, a blossoming career, a house, will soon be the first in the family with a college degree and a wonderful, healthy son. If there is one thing mothers fear, it's that their children aren't happy and don't have good things. Your mom left knowing that you have what you need to be happy and to have a comfortable life. So, keep your head high. Keep the good memories close to your heart. And know that she is there smiling, happy for you and very proud of you. She will continue to guide your steps until you both meet again one day.
I've known Michael for about 15 years now and I've known his Mom just as long. For many, many years we lived right across the street from her. In that time I got the chance to meet and become a surrogate son to an extraordinary woman. Michael never had a father that he knew of. And his Mom raised him on her own. I'm sure considering the times and her age that she was told by many that she couldn't do it on her own, that Michael wouldn't get what he needed to become a fully functioning and well adjusted member of society. They couldn't have been more wrong... See, there is one thing I know about the Soper family that many probably do not... They persevere. I truly thing if you trace their linage back to ancient times, you'll find that somewhere along the line there is Mule and Bull DNA. Because stubbornness is bone deep in this family. And as frustrating as that can be, it does give them what is needed to achieve any goal when they set their sites on it. I know Michael didn't have a lot, materially growing up, but he was given a wealth of what he needed in personality traits. She raised a well adjusted, loyal and honorable man. One that I personally, have always looked up to like an older brother. And that comes from how his Mom raised him. She taught him that it's not the niceties you have in life that make a home or a good person, but who you are and who you surround yourself with.
Debbie never had a lot, but she was never afraid to share what she did with those she loved. Every Christmas, she would have a present for me. It was anything large, it was a hand knitted tree ornament and a couple dollars, but it was from the heart and it meant the world to me. Especially because I wasn't her blood and she didn't need to do anything for me. But, she always did and treated me like family. When we experienced the fire that took our home and my babies, she took care of us. And handled me as gently as a babe in swaddling clothes. Showing that beneath a gruff exterior was was a mother that would take care of her children when they were hurt and needed it. I am still grateful to this day for that.
But, at the end of the day, her son and his happiness was the center of her world. The sun rose and set on him to her. Her love for him knew no bounds and even though she didn't always know the best way to express it, she was and is so very proud of him and all he has accomplished. From his time serving our country, to his career with the State, to his pending graduation from college, to his black belt, to the family he has built and the son he has fathered.
Losing a mother, any family member, is the hardest thing in the world. You always wonder about all the things unsaid, all the things unexperienced and all the things that you never got a chance to do. Finding solace is hard knowing that someone you talked to every day and shared the highs and lows of your life with is no longer there to share that connection with.
However, I can say this to give some sense of peace. Debbie may no longer be here physically, but I know from losing my Mom that she is in spirit. And know that she left us with a full heart. She left knowing her son has a loving family, a blossoming career, a house, will soon be the first in the family with a college degree and a wonderful, healthy son. If there is one thing mothers fear, it's that their children aren't happy and don't have good things. Your mom left knowing that you have what you need to be happy and to have a comfortable life. So, keep your head high. Keep the good memories close to your heart. And know that she is there smiling, happy for you and very proud of you. She will continue to guide your steps until you both meet again one day.