Venting.
My plane leaves in two days. I keep moving between mild anxiety and serious freakout. Right now I'm in serious freakout. I'm afraid I've set myself up for complete failure.
Have I mentioned that Kristina is only 21? I'm flying to the other side of the world to meet a Russian girl half my age. This is not going to work. She needs to stay in Russia for 2-3 years so she can finish her degree. My plan to teach English in Russia to be near her in the meantime sounds like a pipe dream. Even if I manage to win this girl (not likely), it's going to take a miracle for us to be together.
I've posted before about how unhappy and isolated I've felt in Portland the past year. I've been spending way too much time alone lately. I'm finally realizing how this whole Russian thing is just clinging to whatever human contact is available. The fantasy is about to come crashing down, and I'm going to be on the other side of the world way outside my comfort zone when it happens.
I told you I was freaking out!
Edit: Back from gym and downgrading mood back to "mild anxiety." Not a good workout, but it felt good to get out. Also, I found out late Friday that I will have a new boss, and it's a guy from another department that I really like working with. He has a group of guys who gets together every Tuesday night to shoot hoops, and they play flag football. So I might have some chances to get back to living again.
Have I mentioned that Kristina is only 21? I'm flying to the other side of the world to meet a Russian girl half my age. This is not going to work. She needs to stay in Russia for 2-3 years so she can finish her degree. My plan to teach English in Russia to be near her in the meantime sounds like a pipe dream. Even if I manage to win this girl (not likely), it's going to take a miracle for us to be together.
I've posted before about how unhappy and isolated I've felt in Portland the past year. I've been spending way too much time alone lately. I'm finally realizing how this whole Russian thing is just clinging to whatever human contact is available. The fantasy is about to come crashing down, and I'm going to be on the other side of the world way outside my comfort zone when it happens.
I told you I was freaking out!
Edit: Back from gym and downgrading mood back to "mild anxiety." Not a good workout, but it felt good to get out. Also, I found out late Friday that I will have a new boss, and it's a guy from another department that I really like working with. He has a group of guys who gets together every Tuesday night to shoot hoops, and they play flag football. So I might have some chances to get back to living again.