(no subject)
Being home sucks. There's nothing to do. It's pretty much the same as school, but instead of worrying about homework, I have to listen to my brother and my parents fight all the time. I really hate Michigan. If I could, I would do anything to go back in time and not go there. Things probably would have been a million times better if I had gone to school with Niki or even just anyone I knew from high school. I would have met more people and actually liked being alive. I honestly don't know if I can make it through another year of school and I don't want to. I'm smart enough that where I go to school isn't going to matter a few years from now. Too bad I realized this now. I pretty much hate everything right now. Even the people I was best friends with in high school I hate. Everyone acts so different and why the fuck is everyone so racist all of the sudden? Since when is it cool to hate on black people or gay people or anyone that isn't the same as you? Everyone is just so retarded nowadays. Maybe if Niki had actually told me what was going on I could have seen her today in between her flights. Not that that would have fixed anything. I saw Final Destination 3 today. It was exactly what I expected, which was good. The main girl was really cute. I wish I could have a girlfriend that had really deep brown eyes and was just normal. Not sorority, not emo, not punk, not goth, none of that shit. Just a normal, regular girl. I played Psychonauts for 20 hours the last 2 days and beat it. Best game I've played in a while, although I was really pissed that you couldn't go back and get 100% on the game if you didn't do it before the final mind. That kind of sucked, but I have a save point right before that. I'll eventually go back and do it. I have another appointment with this psychiatrist tomorrow to see if I'm clinically depressed. I wouldn't doubt it. Last time we met, she didn't really tell me anything new. Everyone tells me the same thing. It's not a matter of knowing what to do, it's actually doing it. I'm not stupid. I can think of these things on my own. I don't even want to go to bars or parties and meet drunk people who won't remember who I am the next day. I just want a normal friend who has a sense of humour that doesn't involve racist remarks, who actually lives in the same state as me (as opposed to the few people I call good friends for the most part), who doesn't have a social life that revolves around getting drunk every single free night, and who feels comfortable doing nothing. But that's not what college is about apparently, especially not at my school with one of the largest Greek systems in the country. What the fuck was I thinking when I chose to go there? On one hand, it's only one more year, but senior year is supposed to be easy as hell. That's great. I'll have more time to sit at home and think about how much everything sucks. The worst part is that this would have been so easy to avoid. Whatever, it's too late now. I also hate how everyone loves to hate everyone on the internet. All of these people with their internet egos are so stupid. I'm gonna go eat an orange.