Tito Jackson will always be my favorite Jackson..
Hola muchachas.
It's me..JOHNNY OWENS. Well, gee whiz, it's been...ONE WEEK since you looked at me, dropped your hands to the side and said you loved me...
JUST KIDDING. I heart The Barenaked Ladies. They make me tingle south of the Tijuana border of my body.
Well, let's see..it's PROM TIME. And you know what that means?! Richard Dreyfus's birthday is comming up! He always throws the best parties. I remember one time when me and Alf, yes that's right, Alf, went to his party at a rundown abandoned crackhouse in the Latin Kings neighborhood. Robert Downey Jr showed up with Fat Albert and his gang. They had to break up a hot glue gun fight in between Christoper Lowell and Martha Stewart.
I ended up glueing my eyelids shut and somehow a fake fruit basket ended up on my head, and they called me Chiquita Banana for the rest of the night.
But seriously, onto PROM.
This Mr. Owens needs a date *sad face*
I have the windstar for the night and we don't have to be home until 10:15pm.
But if you want to be my date, you will have to pass an inspection by my mother.
The criteria is as follows:
+You must have all your limbs present and accounted for. This includes eyes and or thumbs.
+You must be able to or have given a turtle an anal inspection with a stirring rod.
+Able to recite the lyrics to "Fuck Da Police" bny NWA. Mom is a fan.
+You must be able to guess Bea Arthur's age correctly. This is a TOUGHY!
+Also, you have to be of the Arayan persuasion, no Jews allowed.
You know who fits all this criteria?
The one Amber Curio. Isn't she just lovely like a antelope in heat when she sleeps?!
Haha, as you can see, she dreams in words. It DRIPS. like a CANDLE.mmm CANDLES.
I like wax ones, they taste like a Catholic Priest, smooth and slightly dusty.
I have some last words:
NORTH CAROLINA. Cmon and raise up.
Take your shirt off, twist it around your head
spin it like a helicopter.
Mom is singing it to my 2 year old brother, it was MY lullaby as well.
AMBER IS AS PRETTY AS A RAINBOW BRITE
It's me..JOHNNY OWENS. Well, gee whiz, it's been...ONE WEEK since you looked at me, dropped your hands to the side and said you loved me...
JUST KIDDING. I heart The Barenaked Ladies. They make me tingle south of the Tijuana border of my body.
Well, let's see..it's PROM TIME. And you know what that means?! Richard Dreyfus's birthday is comming up! He always throws the best parties. I remember one time when me and Alf, yes that's right, Alf, went to his party at a rundown abandoned crackhouse in the Latin Kings neighborhood. Robert Downey Jr showed up with Fat Albert and his gang. They had to break up a hot glue gun fight in between Christoper Lowell and Martha Stewart.
I ended up glueing my eyelids shut and somehow a fake fruit basket ended up on my head, and they called me Chiquita Banana for the rest of the night.
But seriously, onto PROM.
This Mr. Owens needs a date *sad face*
I have the windstar for the night and we don't have to be home until 10:15pm.
But if you want to be my date, you will have to pass an inspection by my mother.
The criteria is as follows:
+You must have all your limbs present and accounted for. This includes eyes and or thumbs.
+You must be able to or have given a turtle an anal inspection with a stirring rod.
+Able to recite the lyrics to "Fuck Da Police" bny NWA. Mom is a fan.
+You must be able to guess Bea Arthur's age correctly. This is a TOUGHY!
+Also, you have to be of the Arayan persuasion, no Jews allowed.
You know who fits all this criteria?
The one Amber Curio. Isn't she just lovely like a antelope in heat when she sleeps?!
Haha, as you can see, she dreams in words. It DRIPS. like a CANDLE.mmm CANDLES.
I like wax ones, they taste like a Catholic Priest, smooth and slightly dusty.
I have some last words:
NORTH CAROLINA. Cmon and raise up.
Take your shirt off, twist it around your head
spin it like a helicopter.
Mom is singing it to my 2 year old brother, it was MY lullaby as well.
AMBER IS AS PRETTY AS A RAINBOW BRITE