i hate life
well i hate life. ive come to the conclusion that love is just a bunch of bullshit that can never be achieved. Why does it seem like everyone but me can get what they want. i am so sick of it. i think i am gonna call off my quitting smoking and just go back to my pack a day. right now i really wish i had a bunch of cigs to smoke along with a big fat bag of pot and a bottle of some booze. i wanna know what i did wrong that since my birth god has been shitting on me. this is prolly why i havent gone to church in the last four years because i have no faith in a god n e more. It seems all is wrong in my life and i cant fix it. im prolly gonna end up like some stupid fuck that u see at dennys every night like gummer working some shit job barly getting by. Sometimes i just wish i was dead. It wouldnt make n e difference in the world if i was it would just get rid of one more waste of space on this hell hole we call earth. well i think i hate life enough so i am gonna go to sleep. Maybe if im lucky i wont ever wake up.