snot, gross
so i jsut sneezed and hocked a loogie in my hand... nice...
anyways, I am so bored. I managed to type up my senior statement which is due thursday. I am going to type one of my art history papers over spring break and maybe get my honors capstone paper out of the way. I dont really have much to do over spring break besides get ready for my interview. I say "besides" as if it were a small task! I think I am as mentally prepared as I will ever be, I jsut need to get a couple more hand studies out of the way. This weekend I think I will draw Josh or maybe Evan, maybe I can convince them to sit still for me long enough to get some hands done as well. Chrisse and matt both have nice hands to draw, maybe Ill get them to pose. I dont know.
I finally got my room all set up as a half studio to work on my portraits. I cleaned up the top of my desk, raised it and angled it. I bought a lamp (after a year and a half, i finally got a lamp so i dont ahve to depend on my bathroom or closet light. its a cool lamp, a 3 setting standing lamp with a spot/desk lamp attached on the side. So when I have someone pose for me, Ill just have to remember to stash the dirty laundry in the closet and make my bed.
I am a little bummed that I wont be able to go with my friends to the beach for spring break. I kind of wish that I had gone ahead and scheduled my interview for monday instead of friday, but I dont think I would have been ready on monday. I volunteered to work the first saturday and sunday for jesse, for two reasons. The first being that I dont want to go a week without any sort of paycheck. The second being that I really dont want to go home. I think chrisse discussed this before, but it really doesnt feel like home anymore. Its rather depressing too with the condition that pops and bubbie are in. I dont want to remember them in this condition, but on the other hand, anytime that I have with them I am greatful for. I also am having issues with this whole growing up and the relationship and view of my parents changing. I know everyone wants to please their parents and make them happy but I think the way I was with my family was a little too much, to the point where I was untrue to myself, to the point wehre I wasnt sure who I was and I still am not sure. Lately I have been going on this self improvement kick, not cussing, not drinking, not indulging in things that were unecessary. I wanted my parents to see that I am not an alcoholic nor am I a bad person for the choices or mistakes that I make. Well, just like growing my hair out long was done for the wrong reason and not me, I decided that Laura drinks (in moderation - no one likes a hangover) and Laura has a potty mouth. I am an expressionate person and passionate and I think that holding back is not true to who I am. And besides that, my professor (and good friend) Julie Bowland told me at an art show last weekend that I shouldnt have to try to "improve myself" because I am already a good person. Her statement really struck me. Doing the things I was doing should have been making me happier, that was sort of the intention, to improve myself and improve my life. I was no better or worse. Anyways, I feel more like myself again. I am doing things for myself and I am trying not to let how I think my family might react affect my decisions. Their opinion matters and their support is always appreciated. I want them to see that they "done good" with me. I want them to be proud, but I want them to be proud of ME. if any of that makes any sense.
anyways, I am so bored. I managed to type up my senior statement which is due thursday. I am going to type one of my art history papers over spring break and maybe get my honors capstone paper out of the way. I dont really have much to do over spring break besides get ready for my interview. I say "besides" as if it were a small task! I think I am as mentally prepared as I will ever be, I jsut need to get a couple more hand studies out of the way. This weekend I think I will draw Josh or maybe Evan, maybe I can convince them to sit still for me long enough to get some hands done as well. Chrisse and matt both have nice hands to draw, maybe Ill get them to pose. I dont know.
I finally got my room all set up as a half studio to work on my portraits. I cleaned up the top of my desk, raised it and angled it. I bought a lamp (after a year and a half, i finally got a lamp so i dont ahve to depend on my bathroom or closet light. its a cool lamp, a 3 setting standing lamp with a spot/desk lamp attached on the side. So when I have someone pose for me, Ill just have to remember to stash the dirty laundry in the closet and make my bed.
I am a little bummed that I wont be able to go with my friends to the beach for spring break. I kind of wish that I had gone ahead and scheduled my interview for monday instead of friday, but I dont think I would have been ready on monday. I volunteered to work the first saturday and sunday for jesse, for two reasons. The first being that I dont want to go a week without any sort of paycheck. The second being that I really dont want to go home. I think chrisse discussed this before, but it really doesnt feel like home anymore. Its rather depressing too with the condition that pops and bubbie are in. I dont want to remember them in this condition, but on the other hand, anytime that I have with them I am greatful for. I also am having issues with this whole growing up and the relationship and view of my parents changing. I know everyone wants to please their parents and make them happy but I think the way I was with my family was a little too much, to the point where I was untrue to myself, to the point wehre I wasnt sure who I was and I still am not sure. Lately I have been going on this self improvement kick, not cussing, not drinking, not indulging in things that were unecessary. I wanted my parents to see that I am not an alcoholic nor am I a bad person for the choices or mistakes that I make. Well, just like growing my hair out long was done for the wrong reason and not me, I decided that Laura drinks (in moderation - no one likes a hangover) and Laura has a potty mouth. I am an expressionate person and passionate and I think that holding back is not true to who I am. And besides that, my professor (and good friend) Julie Bowland told me at an art show last weekend that I shouldnt have to try to "improve myself" because I am already a good person. Her statement really struck me. Doing the things I was doing should have been making me happier, that was sort of the intention, to improve myself and improve my life. I was no better or worse. Anyways, I feel more like myself again. I am doing things for myself and I am trying not to let how I think my family might react affect my decisions. Their opinion matters and their support is always appreciated. I want them to see that they "done good" with me. I want them to be proud, but I want them to be proud of ME. if any of that makes any sense.