(no subject)

[jomoo]

So yes, I think it is clear that I am the sort of person who says they are going to do something; perhaps starts a job, and never really gets around to finishing it. I hate myself. However, a large part of the reason I have been uninspired to update this thing, is because I am increasingly frustrated by the un-userfriendlyness of it. I used to use this journal all the time, and I remember it being a pain then, but now! I’m older and less technologically receptive! It’s so damn time consuming! Just to include a picture is a complete nightmare! And what’s the fun in having one of these, if not to show off the 1 in 100 good pictures of yourself!? :p Not that anyone reads the bloody thing now anyway! (Apart from my best friend of course! This is mainly for you! Your compliments are well sought after my lovely). So… I was pondering over the whole thing again on Friday night, after a long and fruitful conversation with said best friend, and became inspired yet again (wonder how long it will last this time)… Essentially I like the idea of having an online diary, a window into thoughts I never even knew I had! A place where I can fish for compliments from strangers who make me feel good; but I keep thinking, this could be so much better! Preferably without involving me having to waste my life away and become an expert in HTML or something! Maybe I should try Facebook… lol this is not the sort of argument I want to be having with myself. To cut a long story short, I decided to get myself a new phone- one with a more friendly (i.e. bit more blurry- kind to blemishes!) camera. Perhaps this is the answer to all my problems. If it’s a phone, then I’ll always have it with me anyway, and it will be easier to document my life again. So this is what I spent my Saturday doing; shopping around, tactfully negotiating with various salesmen etc… I eventually managed to get myself a contract for about £23.00 per month- 600 free minutes, unlimited texts, magic numbers…! And a brand new Nokia phone (for free!) So all in all it was a good day. Although I have to say I’m a little nervous now, waiting for the first bill to come through, all sounded a bit too-good-to-be-true. Alas, I am a seriously neurotic worrier, I am a very sensible person when it comes to money, and I’m also very stuck in my ways. I really think things through- and my plan is really pretty fool-proof, I will be saving money (I can’t believe I am now trying to justify this purchase to a bunch of strangers!) Apart from such ridiculously internal dilemmas, there is not really much news. There never is these days- once you settle down and you’re pretty happy, people suddenly start to think there’s nothing more boring! I mean, don’t get me wrong, life is never perfect. But I don’t really want to focus on all the bad stuff; I’m trying to get out of that! Let’s just say that me and Sam have been having some pretty serious downs, and some little ups- and right now I am feeling more in control, I am accepting my responsibilities, and am hopeful that things are going to be ok. We love each other, surely that’s all that matters? Today we are going to have a roast (how English); Sam is having a Chicken, I am having some fried veggie burgers (with roast potatoes, peppers, carrots, onions…) which I’m looking forward to. I am pottering about on my new phone (these things are so over-complicated these days!) and surfing the world-wide… Sam is revising (no surprises there) and occasionally getting up and fretting over his beloved bird. It may also surprise you to know that I am not smoking! I mean I am smoking cigarettes! But I’m not smoking smoking!! I’ve kind of been fighting this internal battle with myself over the whole thing, being fed up with people judging me for being a ‘druggie’ and trying to convince me that I was addicted/ hooked etc… which I probably am, but I wanted to prove that I am still capable of taking control of myself. I suppose this was more a quest to prove to myself that I could do it. So far I haven’t really achieved what I set out to achieve, which was to kind of ‘forget’ about the routine; be able to watch a whole movie without actually having to take your eyes off every half an hour to roll a joint- which after you’ve rolled you rarely actually enjoy as much as you thought you would. I think I managed to go 2 days (possibly 3) last week, before I had a really stressful day at work and ended up buying some more. Then we ran out again last Thursday I think, and have now been without for roughly 3 days again; except this time it’s been over the weekend, which of course counts for much more! (When I say gone without, I’m not including the few ‘spicy’ roll-ups we managed to get out of the grinders and various other smoking paraphernalia in desperate times…) But for me, this is impressive! I’m a bloody born again stoner for fucks sake! My mum passed out from smoking 00 in Morocco when I was a foetus in her belly! Oh, and an ironic story… when me and Sam were on the way back from having a curry the other night we got stopped by some shifty character, who then proceeded to show us his badge on the inside of his wallet! He was like ‘oh yeah we smelt weed from around you, are you smoking a joint?!’ and funnily enough, of all the times it could have happened, this particular time we weren’t. This provided us with much to humour ourselves as we walked home I must say… Ok so, here are some pictures- probably the only part of this entry which will perhaps slightly interest anyone!

 








Can you believe anyone would eat this!!!???




















Thanks for listening :)