(no subject)
There's a front page article in the weekend paper about the terrible struggles that remote aboriginal communities have with alcohol and other drugs, domestic violence and sexual abuse. There's now a move to impose pretty radical rules on these communities (curfews, banning alcohol sales, removing children from parents, etc) in the hope of curbing the damage, particularly to children. It may be that this is now the only way to go - I honestly don't know, and the issues of paternalism and many other complicating factors are so great, that any action may be doomed.
But there's another issue, which raised my ire, and I feel more qualified to talk about. The article mentioned that one of the measures should be that parents be allowed to smack their children. There was no explanantion or qualification - it was just automatically assumed that smacking children is the way to discipline. (NB - the word "smacking" is always used because it sounds better than "hitting", which is what actually happens). This is an attitude that continually appears and I get furious because of the stupidity as much as anything. Firstly, that there is still this belief that parents are not allowed to hit their children. There are no laws against it in Australia, but there are laws against child abuse. My kids have never been hit, yet astonishingly, they are polite, disciplined, happy, but also spicey, questioning and interesting. Not that we're perfect - but as a group of kids, I would be happy to compare them with anyone (even #3).
Mostly, hitting is done in anger, is lazy and has little to do with discipline or teaching kids better behaviour. Too often it is abuse. I was hit as a child, my ex-partner was abused - we both made a deliberate choice about how to raise our kids. I know many many families that routinely hit their kids and I can't see any evidence that it makes for well behaved kids. Often these are the "troubled" kids. (I am close to ONE family that hit their kids, but are very controlled and spend time and effort to make sure that the punishment teaches them well - this is unusual in my experience).
It made me furious that the reporter automatically assumed that "allowing" parents to "smack" their kids, in communities where alcohol abuse and domestic violence were already out of control, was the way to well being. What an asshat.
But there's another issue, which raised my ire, and I feel more qualified to talk about. The article mentioned that one of the measures should be that parents be allowed to smack their children. There was no explanantion or qualification - it was just automatically assumed that smacking children is the way to discipline. (NB - the word "smacking" is always used because it sounds better than "hitting", which is what actually happens). This is an attitude that continually appears and I get furious because of the stupidity as much as anything. Firstly, that there is still this belief that parents are not allowed to hit their children. There are no laws against it in Australia, but there are laws against child abuse. My kids have never been hit, yet astonishingly, they are polite, disciplined, happy, but also spicey, questioning and interesting. Not that we're perfect - but as a group of kids, I would be happy to compare them with anyone (even #3).
Mostly, hitting is done in anger, is lazy and has little to do with discipline or teaching kids better behaviour. Too often it is abuse. I was hit as a child, my ex-partner was abused - we both made a deliberate choice about how to raise our kids. I know many many families that routinely hit their kids and I can't see any evidence that it makes for well behaved kids. Often these are the "troubled" kids. (I am close to ONE family that hit their kids, but are very controlled and spend time and effort to make sure that the punishment teaches them well - this is unusual in my experience).
It made me furious that the reporter automatically assumed that "allowing" parents to "smack" their kids, in communities where alcohol abuse and domestic violence were already out of control, was the way to well being. What an asshat.