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[joluvhrtz]

Well, I'm writing for the first time here.... I've never written in here b4... I have a GreatestJournal... but i haven't updated it in forever... most likely ill have more time now that it's summer!! If anyone who knows me reads this add my to your friends list, cuz i kno lots of my friends have a livejournal, but i don't know their usernames!! Anyways, yeah... soo wat can i say, I basically don't have a summer, cuz starting late June im going to b working at Washington Mutual!! Awesome yes, but it's also bad, bcuz since ill only b working parttime once skool starts i have to work in spring break, winter break, etc!! Im excited in a sense this school year is going to b my busiest and the one were i have to prove myself in!! I'm going to b having 5 to 6 AP classes... plus piano.. church... work... its all crazy... but it's all good!!! Soooo, let me say that i'm not exactly writing this for the world to read... but i guess its nice to write (or type) an online "diary" cuz i do keep a diary... which i ahven't written in 4ever... i guess lack of time, lack of energy, all that... i ahve sooo much to write, so much to say, but no one in particular to say it to, no one who'd really care... so im just writing into the endlessness of internet... any1 in the entire world could read this, and if you do, fine, if you don't, fine... I've realized in life that you're by yourself, and that there are very few people in the universe you can truly trust, genuine, not hypocrite people, it's sad, especially for a person like me that gets easily attached to people, and that believes that everyone is good... to finally open my eyes to the truth of the world... that most everyone is double faced and its hard to find people who genuinely care! That depresses me sooooooo mcuh, it's not right... it may sound that i'm viewing the world in a black haze, but im just saying what i feel... there are good things im not saying there aren't... like falling in love... i Fell in love, and it's a feeling that one must experience, bcuz words come short to it... its going to sleep thinking about him, waking up and getting dressed and going thru ur routine preparing for the moment you'll see him... i went thru that... and i miss that feeling sooo mcuh, im still in love with him, i don't care what any1 says to me, I should know what I feel!!... and i know that i love him and deep down will always... but like in movies, and books, and all that our love is impossible... the truth is i wonder soemtimes if he truly loved me... i kno that i truly loved him... i've never made out or anything like that... i did give hime my first pop kiss (es) nothing else tho, it couldn't go further than that... but i think of him all the time...i try to 4get him, i mean i check out other guys... but my heart isn't up for love right now... it's almost reluctant to it... like if it said thats it! Thats how i feel... like love isn't for me and never will be... i kno there has 2 b my match, my other half, but... where is he? All i want is to find him, date him, marry him, and be with him 4ever... i kno it sounds like im crazy like going to ahead of my time, but im a settled down person like that... im not like the date a bunch of guys type of girl it's not a big thing for me, i rather date one or 2 guys and find my perfect one...
Anyways off the subject of love, and on the subject of friendship... well... let's not...
Im tired of writing... it's 6 pm and i need to go do other things, k? soo more laters
with luv always
Josie (La Cubiche ;-)