Streetlight! People!
So last night was my first "real" college party. You know, the kind you see in the movies where a house is so crammed full of people you can't move, kegs are out back, odd music is blaring, and you're surrounded by strangers making out where ever there's room. Beer is gross, haha. Any who, I went there with Will, Kristin, and Faren. Jamie barely recognized me when I came in the door. I wandered around for the first hour or so, kind of bored. Faren left early with some guy in crutches, Will and Kristin found vodka and sat in the little nook room, being pretty hammered. I spoke to Shaun for a little bit, whom I never really talked to. He was dressed as Chef and it was awesome.
Lauren was there and not only was she nice to Will, Kristin, and I, but she said I should go see her new place. That was a pleasant surprise. We took some pictures together, then went to dance. Great playlist 'twas: Don't Stop Believing, Now You're A Man, You're The Best Around, Thriller, Love Shack, Hey Bulldog, and I can't remember what else. Ben, Lauren, Ryan, Justin, Kristin, Will, Jordan, Sidney, Shaun, Brian, a New Yorker I just met named Mike, and I jigged to our hearts' content and it was actually pretty fun. I haven't danced since, oh... Gen was in high school, really. But I'm finding that things that used to be weird and dirty are becoming less so, in my mind, and methinks that is for the better. A speaker fell on my foot and bruised my toes. Ryan asked where I learned to dance, haha.
Then we took the Blue Line home and it was cold.
Kristin was joking on the way home that it would be funny if we found Faren and that guy naked in our room.
Lo and behold.
Haha, so we slept at Brian's place.
I swear I don't feel relaxed around anyone these days but I've been in a considerably improved mood since last year. I am going to talk to my parents and advisors about changing to a straight film major. One thing I have realized is that no matter what line of work you do, it's not the work itself, but the community you join surrounding it that makes it so enjoyable. And truth be known I feel far more productive and useful and happy around film people I think than in animation. I'll have to take some classes I was enjoying skipping by being in the animation core, but I guess I shall manage.
Speaking of community, I want to self-publish a zine. Developing something I'm happy with may take a while, but dammit, I'm gonna do it!
I'd really like to be centered in one location. I want a home. I want a place where I say "Okay, I'm going to settle here" and I will work there and I will be connected with my friends there and my mind will be present there and I just want to be part of something.
I talked to a fortune teller the other night, same one I saw before. She's awesome, by the way. I draw one card without asking a question and automatically she says "You worry too much." She said I'm too focused on trying to make the perfect choice, the one I'm going to indefinitely stick with, and I should just decide what's fun and go with that. She also said I should try dating, as the best way to overcome adult shyness is to just go for something and that dating would help me figure out what manner of relationship is good for me. But I am still getting rid of things from the last relationship. She also said that I am rejecting what other people say simply because it is a choice. The way she worded that was a bit odd, but I would say I've been rejecting things people say because I don't want my actions influenced by them. I want my choices to be purely my decisions.
She's quite good with her readings.
How do people decide who they want to date anyway? It used to be some uncontrollable thing, as I recall. An intense happiness from seeing the other person happy. I don't really get that feeling anymore, at least not now. I'm kind of wary of anyone who I feel might bring me down, emotionally. I'm kind of like Mel in that respect.
I think the kind of person I'm interested in is a complete show-off, but I meet fewer and fewer of those.
Well, I shall cease rambling at the moment. Styx is playing and I need to finish these storyboards! Yay film!
Lauren was there and not only was she nice to Will, Kristin, and I, but she said I should go see her new place. That was a pleasant surprise. We took some pictures together, then went to dance. Great playlist 'twas: Don't Stop Believing, Now You're A Man, You're The Best Around, Thriller, Love Shack, Hey Bulldog, and I can't remember what else. Ben, Lauren, Ryan, Justin, Kristin, Will, Jordan, Sidney, Shaun, Brian, a New Yorker I just met named Mike, and I jigged to our hearts' content and it was actually pretty fun. I haven't danced since, oh... Gen was in high school, really. But I'm finding that things that used to be weird and dirty are becoming less so, in my mind, and methinks that is for the better. A speaker fell on my foot and bruised my toes. Ryan asked where I learned to dance, haha.
Then we took the Blue Line home and it was cold.
Kristin was joking on the way home that it would be funny if we found Faren and that guy naked in our room.
Lo and behold.
Haha, so we slept at Brian's place.
I swear I don't feel relaxed around anyone these days but I've been in a considerably improved mood since last year. I am going to talk to my parents and advisors about changing to a straight film major. One thing I have realized is that no matter what line of work you do, it's not the work itself, but the community you join surrounding it that makes it so enjoyable. And truth be known I feel far more productive and useful and happy around film people I think than in animation. I'll have to take some classes I was enjoying skipping by being in the animation core, but I guess I shall manage.
Speaking of community, I want to self-publish a zine. Developing something I'm happy with may take a while, but dammit, I'm gonna do it!
I'd really like to be centered in one location. I want a home. I want a place where I say "Okay, I'm going to settle here" and I will work there and I will be connected with my friends there and my mind will be present there and I just want to be part of something.
I talked to a fortune teller the other night, same one I saw before. She's awesome, by the way. I draw one card without asking a question and automatically she says "You worry too much." She said I'm too focused on trying to make the perfect choice, the one I'm going to indefinitely stick with, and I should just decide what's fun and go with that. She also said I should try dating, as the best way to overcome adult shyness is to just go for something and that dating would help me figure out what manner of relationship is good for me. But I am still getting rid of things from the last relationship. She also said that I am rejecting what other people say simply because it is a choice. The way she worded that was a bit odd, but I would say I've been rejecting things people say because I don't want my actions influenced by them. I want my choices to be purely my decisions.
She's quite good with her readings.
How do people decide who they want to date anyway? It used to be some uncontrollable thing, as I recall. An intense happiness from seeing the other person happy. I don't really get that feeling anymore, at least not now. I'm kind of wary of anyone who I feel might bring me down, emotionally. I'm kind of like Mel in that respect.
I think the kind of person I'm interested in is a complete show-off, but I meet fewer and fewer of those.
Well, I shall cease rambling at the moment. Styx is playing and I need to finish these storyboards! Yay film!