EVERY STORM RUNS, RUNS OUT OF RAIN. JUST LIKE EVERY DARK NIGHT TURNS INTO DAY;
"So hold your head up, and tell yourself that there's something more: and walk out that door. Go find a new rose, don't be afraid of the thorns: we all have thorns." --Every Storm, Gary Allan
My friends are depressed. I don't blame them for being depressed: I'm a bit depressed, myself. I think it's hard to live in what I call "this modern world" and not be at least a wee bit depressed. We all have problems. I like to listen to problems. I think the more problems you hear about, the more you can put your own problems into place in the world. This may exacerbate the problems you face, instead of minimising them, but sometimes you need to draw attention to the fact that things are actually inappropriately bad in order to find a solution.
As it turns out, if you think your problems are bad: they are. I don't think any one individual has the right to judge the way that someone else reacts emotionally. Yes, some problems are more dangerous than others, but just because I think I would cope more easily than you are coping with the hardship that you face doesn't mean I have the right to judge you for the way you feel about the situation. The other day, two friends of mine had very separate breakdowns for totally different reasons. My friend Matt was telling me about how social aspects of his life, including conflict with his flatmates, were stressing him out quite a bit-- and I sympathised. Matt also received a mark on one of his essays for university that I would have been thrilled with (as a low academic achiever) but that for him was upsettingly bad. Knowing how much effort Matt puts into his studies, I tried extra hard to be understanding.
Later on, however, another friend of mine, Anna, mentioned in passing (as part of her own string of problems worth complaining about) that her mum was in danger of getting her mortgage repossessed and that when she had been home over Easter, she'd had to pay off her mum's heating and electricity bills out of her student loans, as for unmentioned reasons, her mum had been unable to. I'd had to stop her at that point. "Wait," I said, "like, you paid them out of your own money?" Anna replied that yes, she had, and then went on to discuss other family issues that I personally found much less disturbing. As someone who comes from a consistently financially stable background, the idea that my mother would need to rely on a university student to pay her bills in addition to their own is significantly concerning. In fact, the idea that I might someday not be able to myself rely on my mother is terrifying to me; she's always been my ultimate safety net. Anna comes from a different background, however, and upon reflection I see no reason why if you have always struggled to find enough money and couldn't rely upon your parents for help, you wouldn't simply get used to living a frugal and self-sufficient lifestyle from a very young age. I saw the issue of paying her mother's bill as being far more severe than the other things she mentioned-- but she didn't-- she was much more concerned with a social issue that had arisen amongst her social group.
I don't get to dictate that I think one of Anna's problems is more pressing than the others, or more severe than my problems, or Matt's problems. Neither do you. It's always important to focus on all the reasons why someone's experience is different than yours and not to judge. I'm not a Christian, but I think this is a really important soundbyte to remember for situations like these:
Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you.