(no subject)
Hi guys. Long time no do this thing. I haven't changed much, though. Have you? My name is still Tess. I'm still at university in Scotland. I still make bad jokes and dye my hair bright colours and play a lot of nintendo games. At the same time, I feel like I have changed a decent amount. Two of my biggest dreams of this phase in my life fell apart a couple weeks ago-- so you'd think I would be devastated-- and in some ways, I am-- but I'm also coping remarkably well. A fairly serious relationship that I was heavily invested in came to a crash ending and with it, my last whisper of hopes to remain in the country when my student visa runs out after I finish university in May.
I'm much stronger than I tend to appreciate, though. Years of first world struggles the computer games I want to play being incompatible with my Macbook Pro and having to take cold showers if my flatmate gets back from the gym before I wake up at high noon) have prepared me for the one of the only times in my twenty-one years of life I've faced the opposite of a first-world problem: that I'm simply not eligible to live in this country any longer. I think they must simply be confused. I'm WHITE, guys! WHITE! English is my native language. My mother is a lawyer. In two months, I will be a graduate of the University of St. Andrews with a 2:1 in Social Anthropology. I have a DSLR camera and three apple products. I'm well-spoken, I score in the 99th percentile on aptitude tests, and I'm young, healthy, and single. What do they mean when they say that I'm not eligible for an employment visa in the United Kingdom? Who are 'they', anyways? And why would they say that despite all the above factors AND the fact that this means all of the relationships I value (including that of my now ex-boyfriend of over a year) will sizzle into nothingness when I am catapulted 4,500 miles west of where my heart belongs? It's even more frustrating to realise that the only reason that as a university graduate from one of the top British universities (the real reason I believe I'm entitled to an employment visa) I would have been able to stay in the country and work, were it not for recent legislation passed in backlash to the expansion of the European Union.
Writing these thoughts and realities down onto this page cause me to dwell on things I am trying to move past. I can't do what I wish to do. Well golly gosh, it's almost like the world doesn't revolve around me or something (and we all know that's preposterous)! Every cloud has a silver lining, if you dig deep enough, and here are ten reasons why I am seriously looking forwards to leaving the country:
One. People will stop making taking the piss out of me for being American. Because they'll be American, too.
Two. I will have a car again (and thus have the freedom of movement I had at sixteen, once more :-P)
Three. Living at home with mommy and the bro will cost significantly less money than any other option. In fact, it will be free.
Four. Mexican food in Scotland is, frankly, shit. I love Mexican food.
Five. I'll have a good excuse for being an obnoxious depressive that will last months. (Almost as good as my current break-up excuse; plus, It'll kick in right about when the break-up woes get stale :-P)
Six. I will once again be able to harass my mother when I have problems (perhaps not the best path to mature adulthood, but hey!)
Seven. I'll be close to Chicago, Milwaukee, and Madison: all cities I love dearly. I am a midwesterner at heart and I will always be connected to Wisconsin and the midwest.
Eight. When people ask me where I am from, and I reply with, "Wisconsin," I will no longer need to follow that up with the question, "Do you know where that is?'
Nine. A fresh start can't hurt.
Ten. And, finally, I won't have to worry about British immigration anymore.
Come at me, deportation day. And hey, maybe I'll move back someday.