Random thoughts
I'm in 9th grade and I was in class 'B' this year...The best one of course. And only about 5 of my classmates are going to repeat. In 'A' only 9 passed to the next class, in 'C' only 5 and I don't know how many in 'D', many were repeating and they can't be in the 9th grade for the third year. So unless they study like crazy in the summer in order to pass all the exams in September about 50 out of 94 people are going to repeat... More than a half...o.o Maybe you would consider that completely normal but I don't. I mean, for example this girl Eli from 'C'. She failed everything except for Art, where she got a 'C'...In english and in many others she has a 0. Wow...She's not stupid. Well, I think she's not, after all she passed from 8th to 9th grade somehow. But this year she spent in a nearby playground smoking. She was doing everything to become the most fucking popular girl. And then she comes to see her marks and starts to cry 'cause she's going to repeat. Erm....What was she expecting? She spent a whole year doing completely nothing. That's just a waste of 9 months. And they just don't think. And get all miserable then.
Yesterday I realized that I don't like amusement parks as I used to. It's still fun but only the moment you're up there. I also I am fucking scared of heights but that doesn't stop me, I just can't do anything with it. And that sucks as I can't look down, that makes me dizzy.
Lately I care about nothing and it has something good like I used to be extremely scared of death. Now I am not. That's very good, like yesterday I said that 'I gave up on love and sex and that my common sense tells me it's not permanently...' it could be as you never know, I might die tomorrow or today or in a week. You won't know though.