[Radio] We All Have Alzheimer's Diesease
I keep hearing this commercial about "the early signs of Alzheimer's Disease", and every time I hear it, I just laugh. The commercials are all about some older lady and how tiny changes to her daily routine are "warning signs" that she probably has Alzheimer's Diesease. Like, according to the commercial, basically anyone with memory problems, people who need to ask directions to nearby places, or people who get frustrated all have Alzheimer's. Don't believe me? Let's take a look at the official Alzheimer's Association "ten early warning signs" list.
- Memory loss that disrupts daily life
Ever forget where you left your car keys? Or maybe your favorite T-shirt? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Challenges in planning or solving problems
Can't figure out how to fix the programming in your game? Can't reckon a good way to tow a trailer fifty miles safely? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Difficulty completing familiar tasks
Having an off day in your favorite game? Can't seen to finish making that sandwich? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Confusion with time or place
Don't know what time or day it is? Can't find your way through Walmart? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships
See something you can't quite explain? Or maybe you have bad depth perception? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- New problems with words in speaking or writing
Feeling a bit stumble-tongued? Or maybe you can't articulate your feelings onto paper? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps
Wait, didn't we already come over this one? "Memory loss that disrupts daily life"? Well, you still probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Decreased or poor judgment
Lose a sucker's bet? Drink too much and wake up with a hangover? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Withdrawal from work or social activities
Taken by a fey mood? Just don't feel like being social? You probably have Alzheimer's™.
- Changes in mood and personality
Getting impatience with friends and family? Maybe you're sick of always being the third wheel in your friend group. Hey, presto, you probably have Alzheimer's™.
Honestly, this list of "warning signs" is about as vague and open to interpretation as the "signs of autism". "Oh, does your child not act like you expect? They're probably autistic™." What a load of poppycock and medical jamble. This is just another way for medical companies to milk insurance companies for all their worth. I mean, yes, some people genuinely have Alzheimer's Disease and it's not laughing matter. But, I mean… these "warning signs", on the other hand? Yeah, what a joke.
~ J