Blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine.
Dumpster diving adventures with Cat and Britt! :D Weee! It was good times. We didn't find anything amazing, but I enjoy going anyway. It's fun, and it's active, and it's exciting... and I love Cat and Britt. <3 I can't wait to live with them. ^_^
I had today off and did absolutely nothing. Exams ended yesterday for me - I had to read a memoir out loud to my English class. >_> I don't know my grades yet, but I'm pretty sure I did well in all my classes. I do know I made an A in my Psych class. :D Weee! I win college.
Lately I've been feeling really disconnected from life. I know I whine a lot in my LJ, but I don't really feel like anyone reads it anymore, and I don't feel close to my LJ friends like I used to. I don't hang out with real life friends, either, except Cat and Britt sometimes. I feel lonely and sad and unhappy with everything. I don't know. I just feel listless and frustrated with everything. I don't feel like doing anything, ever. I'm not excited about much anymore, except moving. I dunno. -_-
But Bridget's home and we Rawk Banded last night, and it was funtimes. There was cake! Thanks to my mommy. <3 Weee. I'm never going to be skinny. Ever. -_- I feel sad about that a lot, too, but I just don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. Even eat.
I'm somewhat excited about our zine and my vegetable garden, but I feel like I'm probably going to kill all my plants and like the zine is pointless. I don't think we'll make any money, which isn't the point but still, and I don't think it'll be very popular or change any minds or anything. Alas. But I'm still excited to do it. At least it's something, and at least it's creative.
Gah. I'm sorry, guys. I just don't feel like anything I do is worth the time and effort I put into it. My Etsy shop - I've barely made any money from it (thank you again, Bethany! <3) and I don't think my jewelry or art or clothing is any good anyway; my writing is all pointless because I'm never going to get it published, and even if I did, no one would buy it probably; I'm bad at everything I try to do, including sports and crafts; I always have all these ideas and get really excited about them for a day or two, then give them up or forget about them or do it wrong... bah.
I want to feel infinite. I want to feel happy and go swimming in the moonlight and dance around in the sunshine. I want to go to the drum circles on Saturdays and play roller derby and get tattoos. I want to feel good about myself. I want to WANT to do things.
Humbug.
I had today off and did absolutely nothing. Exams ended yesterday for me - I had to read a memoir out loud to my English class. >_> I don't know my grades yet, but I'm pretty sure I did well in all my classes. I do know I made an A in my Psych class. :D Weee! I win college.
Lately I've been feeling really disconnected from life. I know I whine a lot in my LJ, but I don't really feel like anyone reads it anymore, and I don't feel close to my LJ friends like I used to. I don't hang out with real life friends, either, except Cat and Britt sometimes. I feel lonely and sad and unhappy with everything. I don't know. I just feel listless and frustrated with everything. I don't feel like doing anything, ever. I'm not excited about much anymore, except moving. I dunno. -_-
But Bridget's home and we Rawk Banded last night, and it was funtimes. There was cake! Thanks to my mommy. <3 Weee. I'm never going to be skinny. Ever. -_- I feel sad about that a lot, too, but I just don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. Even eat.
I'm somewhat excited about our zine and my vegetable garden, but I feel like I'm probably going to kill all my plants and like the zine is pointless. I don't think we'll make any money, which isn't the point but still, and I don't think it'll be very popular or change any minds or anything. Alas. But I'm still excited to do it. At least it's something, and at least it's creative.
Gah. I'm sorry, guys. I just don't feel like anything I do is worth the time and effort I put into it. My Etsy shop - I've barely made any money from it (thank you again, Bethany! <3) and I don't think my jewelry or art or clothing is any good anyway; my writing is all pointless because I'm never going to get it published, and even if I did, no one would buy it probably; I'm bad at everything I try to do, including sports and crafts; I always have all these ideas and get really excited about them for a day or two, then give them up or forget about them or do it wrong... bah.
I want to feel infinite. I want to feel happy and go swimming in the moonlight and dance around in the sunshine. I want to go to the drum circles on Saturdays and play roller derby and get tattoos. I want to feel good about myself. I want to WANT to do things.
Humbug.