rest less
Restless.
I like to think alot and perhaps too much. That is because I am usually not doing any work and no person can sustain long hours of unconstructive idleness. So a slacker like me ends up thinking. And I think about life and how I should go about spending my limited resources, ie time, money & emotion.
Since I'm still struggling in the rat race, my time and money is well-spent nowadays with my second job. But what about emotion? Sigh. I hate to admit this, but I'm really getting restless in this department. I'm wondering if this is normal and do most married couples experience this which in turn, explains why they resort to making babies to make their lives more chaotic cos chaotic is better than monotonic. Think so?
Not me. I am not very into babies and kids, for now. I'm not a very nurturing sort of person yet and my lack of patience makes me the worst candidate to take care of small packs of crying flour. Don't you think babies look like flour? Ok, maybe I'm just hungry again. ANYWAY, you get what I mean right?
Then I begin to trace back what made me agree to get married so young? Hey, don't get me wrong. I love the hubs and I've done enough for him to make any wife feel proud. When I ask myself the question, why? My answer is because he treats me like no one else can in this entire world! Then again, I've not dated all the men in the world so I may not be the most qualified person to make such a proclaimation.
What worries me is, knowing me, I am not the sort of person that dwells over spilt milk. So when I start casting doubts if this is really going to last for life I begin to get scared. Perhaps I'm just too restless and I am bored with routine life. Then again, I've spent my life so carefully all these years, painstakingly avoided all sorts of drama and crazy shit being strewn in my way so why these thoughts now?
Sad.
Sometimes I really don't know what I'm doing. BAH!
I like to think alot and perhaps too much. That is because I am usually not doing any work and no person can sustain long hours of unconstructive idleness. So a slacker like me ends up thinking. And I think about life and how I should go about spending my limited resources, ie time, money & emotion.
Since I'm still struggling in the rat race, my time and money is well-spent nowadays with my second job. But what about emotion? Sigh. I hate to admit this, but I'm really getting restless in this department. I'm wondering if this is normal and do most married couples experience this which in turn, explains why they resort to making babies to make their lives more chaotic cos chaotic is better than monotonic. Think so?
Not me. I am not very into babies and kids, for now. I'm not a very nurturing sort of person yet and my lack of patience makes me the worst candidate to take care of small packs of crying flour. Don't you think babies look like flour? Ok, maybe I'm just hungry again. ANYWAY, you get what I mean right?
Then I begin to trace back what made me agree to get married so young? Hey, don't get me wrong. I love the hubs and I've done enough for him to make any wife feel proud. When I ask myself the question, why? My answer is because he treats me like no one else can in this entire world! Then again, I've not dated all the men in the world so I may not be the most qualified person to make such a proclaimation.
What worries me is, knowing me, I am not the sort of person that dwells over spilt milk. So when I start casting doubts if this is really going to last for life I begin to get scared. Perhaps I'm just too restless and I am bored with routine life. Then again, I've spent my life so carefully all these years, painstakingly avoided all sorts of drama and crazy shit being strewn in my way so why these thoughts now?
Sad.
Sometimes I really don't know what I'm doing. BAH!