Animorphs/HDM: "Seeing in Color" (2/2)
Title: Seeing in Color
Characters: Cassie, Aftran, Rachel
Rating: All Ages
Warnings: None
Beta: lit_luminary
Summary: Cassie used to see the war in black and white. Aftran taught her to see every shade. A retelling of #19: The Departure.
To new readers: This is part of my Dæmorphing series, a fusion of Animorphs with His Dark Materials. If you're new to the 'verse or don't know HDM, refer to this primer.
This story is split in two parts, because it's too long for one. Part One is here.
We circled above the edge of the woods nearest to town and waited, with sick dread, for an osprey to appear. We would hunt her down, capture her, and starve out the Yeerk. The alternative was unthinkable.
«There she is!» Tobias cried. «She's headed for the King house!»
«That doesn't add up,» Abineng said. «Wouldn't the Yeerk want to report to its superiors about us first, then go after the Chee?»
«Maybe it wants more glory. The “Andalite warriors” and the Chee, all wrapped up in a bow. Who cares? We have to go save Cassie!»
Tobias led the charge, using every trick of the air he knew. The rest of us weren't far behind. But the Yeerk had been sneaky. We had expected it to go toward the nearest possible place it might find other Controllers. Instead, it had gone for the Chee, and it had a good head start. It landed in the Kings' backyard and demorphed before we could come into thought-speech range to warn the Chee.
«Don't worry,» said Abineng. «The Chee can't fight the Yeerks, but one Yeerk can't hurt them or make them do anything they don't want to do. They're too strong.»
«Yeah, but the Yeerk could use their phone to call its Sub-Visser or whatever!»
«If that's what it wanted to do, it would have done that already. We're going to make it.»
Closer and closer we flew. Tobias called out, «Erek, Mr. King, can you hear me? It's Tobias. That's not Cassie in there! It's a Controller!»
The Chee had no way of responding, but hopefully they heard. The front door opened. Cassie stepped onto the front porch, Quincy perched as a bat on her shoulder. In her hands, she held a bowl full of water. Why? What was the Yeerk planning?
«Get ready to attack,» said Jake. «Tobias, go for the eyes if you have to. She can always morph away the damage later. What matters right now is containing her. Rachel, land somewhere across the street, demorph, and get ready to get dangerous.»
The Yeerk behind Cassie's eyes was looking up at us. She held the bowl of water to her ear. What happened next nearly made me fall into an uncontrolled dive in pure shock.
The slug crawled out of her ear and fell into the bowl with a splash.
Quincy stirred on Cassie's shoulder, pressing his little face into her cheek. Cassie smiled up at us, then at the bowl. I read the words on her lips: “Come inside. It's all right.”
Stunned, we all landed in the backyard and demorphed. Abineng materialized as a goat with long, curling horns. We came in through the back door of the Kings' house and around to the living room. Erek and Mr. King were there, their holograms off. Cassie sat on the couch, the bowl with the Yeerk in her lap. “Would any of your people be willing to take her in?” she was saying.
Jake stared at Cassie, his eyes taking her in like oxygen. I bet he would have hugged her or kissed her or something sappy if it weren't for the bowl in her lap. As it was, Merlyse leapt on the couch as a fennec fox and looked at Quincy all gooey-eyed. “Cassie,” he said. “Are you OK?”
Cassie turned her head around and flashed Jake a smile. Quincy reached out a long bat wing and caressed the side of Merl's head with it. Merl made a tiny pleased sound. “Yeah. I'm good,” said Cassie. “Where's Karen? Is she safe?”
“We went after you first, Cassie. We thought we'd have to stop that Yeerk from giving us all away.”
“That won't be a problem,” said Cassie. “I'm trying to see if the Chee can help her. But Karen's still out there all alone with a broken leg. Could one of you go get her to safety?”
«You want the Chee to help this Yeerk?» Ax sneered, his main eyes narrowed at the bowl, one stalk eye on Cassie and another on the Chee. «I can rid us of it immediately.»
“No!” said Cassie, pulling the bowl in closer. On her shoulder, Quincy curled his mouth into a snarl, revealing sharp teeth. A vampire bat? Now there was a side of Cassie I wasn't prepared for. “Didn't you see? She let me go. She doesn't want to enslave people anymore just so she can be free. The Chee can help her. They can generate Kandrona inside their heads and keep a Yeerk alive indefinitely.”
We all took a moment to digest this. It was impossible to believe, but we'd all seen it with our own eyes.
Marco turned to the Chee. “The Yeerk didn't make you generate a hologram, did it?”
“The Yeerks can't make us do anything against our will,” said Mr. King. It's impossible to tell Chee apart without their holograms, but I could tell by his voice. “If worst comes to worst, we can always self-destruct before doing something we consider immoral.”
“Yeerks aren't all the same,” said Cassie. “We ought to know that by now. Visser One is different from Visser Three. Visser Three's twin was totally different from him. Aftran is different too. She doesn't want to enslave anyone. She wants to see and hear and run, just like we get to do. And she's not the only Yeerk who feels that way. Some of them realize that what they do is wrong.”
Trust Cassie to make friends with the one good Yeerk we've ever come across. “But you didn't know that when you let her make you into a Controller,” I said.
“No, I didn't. I made a choice. A stupid choice. A leap of faith, I guess.” Cassie shrugged. “I got lucky. And I'm sorry for putting you all at risk. I really am. I won't do anything like that again. But I won't forget what she taught me. I'm going to repay her for what she did. And I'm going to keep fighting.”
“Does that mean you're back?” said Jake.
“Yeah. I'm back. Now can someone go help Karen?”
“I'll go,” said Marco. “I remember where she was.”
«I'll go with Marco,» Tobias said.
“Feel free to use an upstairs window as a launch point,” said Erek.
Tobias perched on Marco's shoulder, opposite Diamanta, and they went upstairs.
Cassie looked back up at the Chee expectantly. “Aftran and I decided we wanted to have peace, if only between the two of us. She wants to share a body with a Chee, if one of you is willing, and go back to the Yeerk pool every three days so she can see her family.”
“Yeerks have families?” I said.
«This is unacceptable,» Ax said. «If she is allowed to return to the Yeerk pool, she will betray us.»
“Just a minute ago, Aftran was an 'it', and now she's a 'she,'” Cassie pointed out to Ax. “If she wanted to betray us, she could have done it when she was in me. I trusted her with my life. With all of our lives. Maybe it was stupid of me. I'm almost sure it was. But she didn't betray me. And she won't.”
“Delia will do it,” said Mr. King. “All of the Chee are listening via CheeNet. There is a Chee playing the part of a community college student named Delia Nguyen. She is curious about Aftran and hopes she might learn more about her by sharing a body with her. She will play the part of a voluntary host who is willing to join the Yeerks if Aftran is her Controller.”
“That would be perfect,” Cassie said. “Aftran told me that the Yeerks value voluntary hosts. She won't be punished for losing Karen if she comes back as a voluntary Controller. That's why it's so important to help Karen now. If a Controller cop finds her, she might still be recaptured, but if her parents keep her under really close watch from now on - which they probably will, after what happened - she can be free.”
“And we'll have another spy in the Yeerk pool,” said Erek.
“Two more spies in the Yeerk pool,” Cassie corrected. “Can Delia come now? Aftran can't last long in this bowl.”
“Yes, she's on her way,” said Erek.
“One more thing. I want to check on Aftran regularly, to make sure you're treating her right. I know you mean well, but I have no way to know for sure unless I put her in my head and ask.”
“Cassie,” said Jake. “I'm not sure that's a good - ”
“She already knows all our secrets. She let me go. She let all of us go. I trust her.” Cassie looked at Ax. “If some Andalites can be traitors, then can't some Yeerks be on our side?”
Ax's whole body twitched. The betrayal aboard the Ascalin is a sensitive topic for him. Let him squirm, I thought. I've seen human scum like Jeremy Jason McCole give themselves up to Yeerks. Ax needs to learn that Andalites aren't perfect either.
I guess it makes sense that some Yeerks might buck the trend too, Abineng mused.
«Prince Jake,» said Ax. «This Yeerk cannot cause any trouble inside a Chee. But in the Yeerk pool or in Cassie's brain, it could cause inestimable damage. We cannot take this risk.»
“Cassie took the risk already, didn't she?” said Jake. “OK, Cassie. You can have your weekly visit with Aftran. But you have to bring at least one of us with you, just in case. Say, Rachel to come in with you, and Tobias to keep watch through the window.”
Cassie nodded. Quincy shot me a glance. Neither of them had said a word to me since we came in. “Sure,” I said, though I dreaded coming back next week. Now that my terror had faded into relief, my anger at Cassie was slowly bubbling back.
I can't believe she gambled with all of our lives like that. With all of our families' lives, Abineng thought, shooting Quincy a poisonous glance in return. He looked away. I wonder if Quincy still thinks he's better than me.
“Would you like something to eat or drink while we wait for Delia to arrive?” said Mr. King, flicking his hologram back on. His holographic thrush dæmon fluffed its feathers. “We do have a functioning kitchen.”
“I'm really thirsty,” Cassie admitted.
We went to the kitchen for snacks. Ax morphed human so he could try the raspberry-flavored seltzer and different kinds of cheese on crackers. Erek let out some of the dogs for us to play with. I drank seltzer and rubbed a schnauzer's belly as Jake tried to show Ax how to eat the cheese and crackers. Abi and I ignored Cassie until she said, “Rachel?”
I didn't look at her, but Abi did.
“Could you meet me at the Gardens on Saturday? I figure that's when my parents will start letting me out of their sight for more than five minutes at a time. We need to talk. I owe you an apology.”
That got my attention. “An apology for what?”
“Well, for nearly betraying everyone to the Yeerk Empire, but I owe everyone an apology for that. But I need to make right what I did to you.”
“You didn't do anything to me.”
“Yes, I did.” Quincy fluttered over and landed on one of Abi's horns. I stared at him for a moment. Vampire bat. What had Cassie learned from the Yeerk? Only a couple of days had passed, and nothing was the same. “Rachel, you're my best friend, and I want to keep it that way.”
“Fine,” I said. “But why the Gardens?”
“There's a morph I need to acquire. I want you to be there.”
“Um,” I said. “OK.” Abi shook his head a bit, and Quincy hopped back onto the couch and curled up as a pangolin.
The doorbell rang. Erek opened the front door. A young woman with long dark hair, a broad smiling face, and a big wrinkly dog dæmon came in. She dressed conservatively, in a nicely colored but ill-fitting button-down shirt and black slacks. “Good morning, Erek,” she said. She took a look at Jake and Ax with their mess of crumbled crackers, and Cassie and I sitting awkwardly on the couch with a schnauzer at our feet. “And these must be the Animorphs.”
“Jake, Aximili, Rachel, Cassie,” said Erek, gesturing to each of us in turn, “meet Delia.”
“Hi,” we said.
Delia nodded at the bowl in Cassie's lap. “Aftran, I presume?”
Cassie's grip reflexively tightened on the bowl. “Yes.”
“Hmmm.” Delia flicked her hologram off. “Give me a minute to rearrange my motor and sensory apparatus. I'll need to mimic neural impulses in my circuitry for her to be able to use any of my faculties. I think I'll model the chamber after yours, Erek, though with a somewhat more comfortable environment.”
There was no apparent change, though we all watched with interest, especially Ax. Then the front of her head split open, revealing a chamber like a tiny fish tank surrounded by electrodes.
Cassie's brows came together. She narrowed her eyes at Erek a little. “You could have made this in your head, and you keep your Yeerk captive in a steel cage? That's cruel!”
“I keep him in stasis. He knows nothing of where he is or what has happened to him. When I have no further use for him, the last thing he will remember will be the Yeerk pool before he 'infested' me.”
Cassie looked mollified, but she said, “What will you do with him when you don't need him anymore?”
“I'll give him symptoms consistent with a Yeerk disease that causes retrograde amnesia. His superiors will assume that this disease is the reason why he remembers nothing. I will return him to the Pool and they will treat his symptoms.”
“May I suggest that you fill the tank with an electrolytic analog of the Yeerk pool?” Delia said.
“Of course,” said Erek. He went to the kitchen and came back with a pitcher. It looked like plain water, but I guess he must have dissolved something in it. He poured some into the tank in Delia's head. It was an odd thing to watch, but no odder than what we usually see, I guess. Ax peppered the Chee with questions about the chemical composition of Yeerk pool sludge.
Cassie stood with the bowl in her hands and walked over to Delia, peering at the inside of her head. “So, do I just… plop her in?”
“Yes. The electrodes will automatically attach themselves.” The Chee hummed. “Mm, this should be interesting. I've always wanted to have a civil conversation with a Yeerk.”
“I wouldn't call Aftran civil, exactly,” Cassie said, cupping the Yeerk gently in her hand. We all stared at the glistening slug as she slid into the tiny tank. “But she does make interesting conversation.”
The electrodes, which looked like fancy versions of the kind they use on ER, clamped all over the Yeerk's body, especially the front where its little palps waved. Delia retracted the tank into her head and flipped her hologram back on. Her expression was furrowed in concentration. Then her face went slack, and her dæmon's wagging tail went limp.
“Is she all right?” said Cassie.
“Yes,” said Mr. King. “She's explaining to Aftran what's going on, and the differences between interfacing with a biological brain and a Chee's mechano-organic construct. The motor and speech functions will probably come easily to Aftran, but the senses are new, and controlling the hologram is completely outside her experience.”
“She looks really creepy right now,” I said. “Like a zombie.” I buried a hand in Abi's fur.
“Cassie?” came a dead monotone voice from Delia the Chee. “Are you here?”
“Yes, I'm here.” Cassie reached out and took the Chee's hand. “Can you hear me, Aftran? I'm holding your hand.”
“Yes. I see you too. I don't know how to show it with the hologram's eyes. But I see you,” said the flat, inhuman voice. “It feels so good to see you again. Without Karen screaming in my head.”
That made me shiver. I leaned forward and rested my chin on Abi's head, just in front of the horns.
“Karen will be OK,” said Cassie. “Marco and Tobias are taking her to her parents right now. They won't let her out of their sight.” It was so strange, hearing Cassie talk to Aftran about Marco and Tobias as if she knew them. But of course, she did, from Cassie's memories.
“They won't. They love her. Now they have her back, even if they never knew she was gone.”
Cassie squeezed her hand. “What do you want to do now?”
“See what Delia's life is like. Learn more about humans and your planet. Karen was too young and knew nothing. Go for walks in the sunshine. See my family again. Learn about the Yeerk resistance.”
“There's a Yeerk resistance?” Jake said. He had been staring, wide-eyed, at the entire exchange.
“I told you, Jake. Aftran's not the only one. It's not that every single Yeerk decided to take us over. It's the Yeerk Empire that's invading Earth, and some Yeerks think the government is wrong.”
“I have a question for you, Aftran,” I said.
“Yes, Rachel?” Delia didn't turn toward me or acknowledge me, but that didn't mean Aftran wasn't watching me.
“When Cassie asked you what you want to do now, you said you want to go for walks in the sunshine. Why is that important to you?”
“Once you learn what life is outside the pool, it is impossible to go back. Every Yeerk is an addict. One taste of life as a Gedd or Hork-Bajir or human or even Taxxon, and we crave more. What is a warm current in the pool compared to sunlight shining through leaves? What is the texture of sludge compared to the soft slide of silk through your fingers? What is the breadth of the pool compared to running across an open field? Of course walks in the sunshine are important to me. They are important enough that Yeerks are willing to enslave your people to have them.”
“An entire planetary invasion for that,” murmured Abi.
“Is that not what you fight for as well? The freedom to experience the world and all its joys? It is what I fought for, until I decided that it was not worth the suffering of a child.” Her face, and her dæmon, remained still as if she were in a coma as she spoke.
“I think I could get to like Aftran, Cassie,” I said.
“Aftran, would you be willing to spy for us in the Yeerk pool?” Jake said.
“I said I would learn more about the Yeerk resistance. I will tell Cassie what I learn.”
“Thank you,” Cassie said.
“Thank you, Cassie. I will do any favor you ask. Delia wishes to speak now.”
Suddenly, her face became animated, her dæmon's face wrinkling into a doggy smile. “Well. That was different.”
“It was all right for you?” Cassie asked, letting go of her hand.
“Of course!” said Delia. “I've lived a very long time, you know, and life can get boring over the millennia. I've seen the crafting of Ming Dynasty vases, and I've seen massacres from Genghis Khan's to Pol Pot's. Much of human history is the same. But this is something new, and I get to be firsthand witness to it. That's worth sharing a body for. I've had this one all to myself for a long time, after all.” She shrugged. “But the real reason I took over is because I have class in forty minutes. Aftran is nowhere near ready to start playing my current persona, so she needs to take a backseat for now and watch how I live my life. I have a feeling she'll enjoy going to class, anyway.”
“Thank you, Delia. It means a lot to me.”
“It means a lot to Aftran too.” Her face and voice went flat, and her dæmon lost all life again. “Goodbye, Cassie.”
“Goodbye, Aftran. I'll talk to you in a week.”
Delia resumed control and walked out to her car.
“Well,” said Cassie. “I guess I'd better go home. My parents must be worried sick.”
It took Jake a moment to pull himself together. “Yeah. They called the police and everything. We should fly back to the woods, and you can demorph somewhere near your house. Then you can wander back home and tell them you survived on mushrooms or something.”
“I did survive on mushrooms, actually.”
“Well, there you go, then.”
It was Emeraude who saw me first from her pulley platform as I straggled home in my morphing outfit, cut up with thorns and my hair crusted with dirt. I walked through the thorns and rubbed my hair with the dirt on purpose. That's what my parents expected to see, after a night lost in the woods. My mom and dad ran outside and bear-hugged me. Emeraude gave Quincy and Dashiell a ride on her head back to the house, my mom's dæmon nuzzling mine the whole way. They fussed over me and made brunch while I took a shower. Over the meal, they asked me what happened, Dashiell holding Quincy in his paws as if he might break. I told them about Karen and the bear and surviving on mushrooms. They told me I was a hero for saving Karen.
Funny how I still didn't feel like a hero. I hope I never will feel like a hero. The moment you start thinking that about yourself is the moment you stop questioning your decisions.
I had to repeat my story to the police. It was tough, because one of the cops who took my statement was a known Controller. It wasn't that I couldn't keep my story straight. I've actually gotten very good at that, as long as I'm not on the spot and have time to think of a good one. But I couldn't help but wonder about the Controller, who I once would have assumed was evil. What was his relationship with his host? Was he a voluntary, who he got along with well? Or did he have to live with his host's screaming and begging? If so, did he care? It was impossible to tell, but it still occupied my thoughts.
After that I had to call all of my relatives to reassure them I was fine. My grandparents, aunts, and uncles had all been frantic. My Uncle Barry doesn't even live in California and he knew all about it. It was embarrassing, but it was also kind of nice to have them fuss over me. I wasn't a hero, but I had been through a lot. My dad made my favorite dinner, potatoes au gratin. I fell asleep not long after that. I had barely slept, out there in the woods.
The next day we got the news that the clinic would be funded. I smiled at what my dad told me about the banker and his daughter. Karen was free.
Finally, Saturday came. The day I dreaded, but was looking forward to at the same time. We met at the main gate to the Gardens. I said hi, but Rachel gave me a tight smile with no friendliness in it. We went to the entrance to the staff section without speaking.
The employees' corridor was deserted. Rachel and I stood with our backs against opposite walls, facing each other. Abineng was a blackbuck, a medium-sized antelope with long twisted horns. Quincy was a rat on my shoulder, his tail draping down along my arm.
“You were right, Rachel,” I said quietly.
“Right about what?” she said, her blue eyes cool. Abineng was impassive, staring at the wall instead of me or Quincy.
“I remember exactly what you said to me when I quit. Every word. 'You've just said the whole world can drop dead, so long as you, Cassie, don't have to end up turning into me.' You were right. That's exactly what I was saying. And I was wrong, twice over.” I held up a finger. “One. You're not some kind of monster.” Another finger. “And two, even if you were, that wouldn't make it right to give up the fight for our freedom. I'd forgotten what I was fighting for. And I didn't think it'd make a difference if I quit anyway. But anyone can make a difference. Aftran did.”
I leaned back against the wall. “Did I ever tell you why I use wolf as a battle morph, even though there are lots more dangerous animals at the Gardens?”
“No.”
“I thought I could fight cleaner that way. I usually go for the shins and hamstring Hork-Bajir, so they can't fight, but they're still alive. I wanted to spare them. I saw the way you fought, killing Hork-Bajir with one swipe of your grizzly paw, and I was… sickened. I thought my way was better.” I laughed bitterly. “Aftran made me see the truth. The Yeerk Empire doesn't want damaged hosts. They kill the ones maimed in battle. All I did was make them suffer before they died. Your way was kinder all along. It didn't matter whether I felt bad about killing them or whether you didn't. All that matters is the result. And the result of my actions was more suffering.
“Rachel, I promise I won't judge you anymore. I don't know what's right any better than you do. Every time I think I know, the universe proves me wrong. All any of us can do is try our best. I'm sorry.”
“I can't believe you were so selfish, Cassie. When you quit the Animorphs, that hurt me.” Rachel's voice was tight and she didn't look me in the eye, but Abineng pinned me with a yellow stare. “But when you revealed yourself to Aftran, when you let her into your head, that didn't just hurt me. You put Jordan in danger. You gambled with Sara. I can't even look at you without thinking of my little sisters as slaves. Because if it had been any other Yeerk, that's what would have happened.”
“I was selfish.” I could feel my throat closing in on itself. “I thought my pain was the only pain that mattered. That it was more important than anything else. I was wrong. I see that now. All I can do is keep fighting and hope. That's all any of us have.” I looked Abineng in the eye. “I forgot what I was fighting for. I forgot what was on the line. That's why I'm here. I need a new battle morph, one that's deadly, not just dangerous. I need a battle morph that reminds me of why I fight this war. I want to acquire a bull moose.”
“Like Emeraude,” said Rachel. “But with horns.”
“One blow from those horns, one kick or stomp from those legs, will end it. Getting hit by a moose is like getting hit by a truck with antlers. No more leaving Hork-Bajir crippled, waiting to die.”
And we won't have to use our teeth to kill anything anymore, thought Quincy, remembering the strip of Hork-Bajir flesh between my teeth.
“And it'll be hard to forget about whose lives are on the line when I'm morphing a moose every time I go into battle,” I added. “Look, Rachel, if you're not ready to forgive me, you can leave now and tell me when you're ready to talk again. But I'd like it if you'd come with me for this.”
“I'm not ready to forgive you yet,” said Rachel. “But I'll come with you anyway.”
“This way,” I said. “They're doing maintenance on the moose habitat, so there won't be any visitors. It's near the end of the mating season, so the bull shouldn't be aggressive.”
I went down the corridor and opened the door for the moose habitat. It was a miniature forest with a salt lick. Two cows, like Emeraude, and a bull were quietly grazing. They paused to look at us as we approached.
“Stand back,” I said. “Be ready to move if he tries anything.”
I approached the bull moose just near enough to be within the range of the bond between me and Quincy. The moose were all eyeing me nervously. Quincy dropped off my shoulder and darted through the grass. He touched a paw to the moose's hoof. We focused on the moose, on its calm strength, acquiring its DNA. The bull went calm, though the cows still watched me.
Quincy came back to me. Rachel and I left as quickly as we could, before the acquiring trance could fade. My heart was still fluttering against my ribs as we stepped out in the hallway.
“There's one more thing I want to do,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“I don't know if Jake ever told you this,” I said. “But when a Yeerk's in your head, you can see into its mind too, at least a little bit. When Aftran was in me, I felt her memories. I can't stop thinking about the time she had first experienced vision. Yeerks are blind in their natural state. When they see for the first time, it's overwhelming. The light, the shapes, the shadows, the depth of it all. They appreciate seeing so much more than we ever will. But what Aftran loves most of all is the color. I think she could be happy even if Delia never gives her control over her body, as long as she gets to see color. No matter what I do, I'll never see color the way she does. But there's this tropical habitat with all of these flowers and colorful birds, and I thought, maybe I'd give it a try. To look at all of that color and imagine I'd never seen it before.”
Rachel shook her head. “Cassie, you are such a sap. But I think that's kind of why I became your friend in the first place. I'm still angry with you. After this there's going to be a hardcore silent treatment. But for now - just for now - I'll do this.”
“Thanks, Rachel. It's more than I deserve.”
We snuck back out of the employees' area and went to the tropical habitat. There wasn't a big crowd, so we got to stand close. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine being a Yeerk in a pool, knowing nothing outside of it. Then I opened my eyes.
A bird with a brilliant red breast perched on a branch just above my head. A blue bird that looked like it was wearing red lipstick on its beak hopped down from a branch to eat a slice of green apple from a bowl. Enormous flowers in every color pooled with droplets on their petals. The green of the miniature rainforest was so bright it made my eyes water - or were those tears?
I stared for a while longer before I felt Quincy turn into a crow and fix his gaze on Rachel. Her long blonde hair was in a braid hanging over her left shoulder. Her hand was loosely curled around one of Abineng's horns, idly rubbing one of its twists with her thumb. Her eyes, staring into space, were as blue as the box that gave us our gift, our weapon, our curse. This was my best friend, who I would never abandon again.
And if I had made the wrong gamble, and lost everything, that may be the sight I would have missed most of all.
Notes
Some references for the more obscure animals and dæmon forms in the story, for those interested.
Characters: Cassie, Aftran, Rachel
Rating: All Ages
Warnings: None
Beta: lit_luminary
Summary: Cassie used to see the war in black and white. Aftran taught her to see every shade. A retelling of #19: The Departure.
To new readers: This is part of my Dæmorphing series, a fusion of Animorphs with His Dark Materials. If you're new to the 'verse or don't know HDM, refer to this primer.
This story is split in two parts, because it's too long for one. Part One is here.
We circled above the edge of the woods nearest to town and waited, with sick dread, for an osprey to appear. We would hunt her down, capture her, and starve out the Yeerk. The alternative was unthinkable.
«There she is!» Tobias cried. «She's headed for the King house!»
«That doesn't add up,» Abineng said. «Wouldn't the Yeerk want to report to its superiors about us first, then go after the Chee?»
«Maybe it wants more glory. The “Andalite warriors” and the Chee, all wrapped up in a bow. Who cares? We have to go save Cassie!»
Tobias led the charge, using every trick of the air he knew. The rest of us weren't far behind. But the Yeerk had been sneaky. We had expected it to go toward the nearest possible place it might find other Controllers. Instead, it had gone for the Chee, and it had a good head start. It landed in the Kings' backyard and demorphed before we could come into thought-speech range to warn the Chee.
«Don't worry,» said Abineng. «The Chee can't fight the Yeerks, but one Yeerk can't hurt them or make them do anything they don't want to do. They're too strong.»
«Yeah, but the Yeerk could use their phone to call its Sub-Visser or whatever!»
«If that's what it wanted to do, it would have done that already. We're going to make it.»
Closer and closer we flew. Tobias called out, «Erek, Mr. King, can you hear me? It's Tobias. That's not Cassie in there! It's a Controller!»
The Chee had no way of responding, but hopefully they heard. The front door opened. Cassie stepped onto the front porch, Quincy perched as a bat on her shoulder. In her hands, she held a bowl full of water. Why? What was the Yeerk planning?
«Get ready to attack,» said Jake. «Tobias, go for the eyes if you have to. She can always morph away the damage later. What matters right now is containing her. Rachel, land somewhere across the street, demorph, and get ready to get dangerous.»
The Yeerk behind Cassie's eyes was looking up at us. She held the bowl of water to her ear. What happened next nearly made me fall into an uncontrolled dive in pure shock.
The slug crawled out of her ear and fell into the bowl with a splash.
Quincy stirred on Cassie's shoulder, pressing his little face into her cheek. Cassie smiled up at us, then at the bowl. I read the words on her lips: “Come inside. It's all right.”
Stunned, we all landed in the backyard and demorphed. Abineng materialized as a goat with long, curling horns. We came in through the back door of the Kings' house and around to the living room. Erek and Mr. King were there, their holograms off. Cassie sat on the couch, the bowl with the Yeerk in her lap. “Would any of your people be willing to take her in?” she was saying.
Jake stared at Cassie, his eyes taking her in like oxygen. I bet he would have hugged her or kissed her or something sappy if it weren't for the bowl in her lap. As it was, Merlyse leapt on the couch as a fennec fox and looked at Quincy all gooey-eyed. “Cassie,” he said. “Are you OK?”
Cassie turned her head around and flashed Jake a smile. Quincy reached out a long bat wing and caressed the side of Merl's head with it. Merl made a tiny pleased sound. “Yeah. I'm good,” said Cassie. “Where's Karen? Is she safe?”
“We went after you first, Cassie. We thought we'd have to stop that Yeerk from giving us all away.”
“That won't be a problem,” said Cassie. “I'm trying to see if the Chee can help her. But Karen's still out there all alone with a broken leg. Could one of you go get her to safety?”
«You want the Chee to help this Yeerk?» Ax sneered, his main eyes narrowed at the bowl, one stalk eye on Cassie and another on the Chee. «I can rid us of it immediately.»
“No!” said Cassie, pulling the bowl in closer. On her shoulder, Quincy curled his mouth into a snarl, revealing sharp teeth. A vampire bat? Now there was a side of Cassie I wasn't prepared for. “Didn't you see? She let me go. She doesn't want to enslave people anymore just so she can be free. The Chee can help her. They can generate Kandrona inside their heads and keep a Yeerk alive indefinitely.”
We all took a moment to digest this. It was impossible to believe, but we'd all seen it with our own eyes.
Marco turned to the Chee. “The Yeerk didn't make you generate a hologram, did it?”
“The Yeerks can't make us do anything against our will,” said Mr. King. It's impossible to tell Chee apart without their holograms, but I could tell by his voice. “If worst comes to worst, we can always self-destruct before doing something we consider immoral.”
“Yeerks aren't all the same,” said Cassie. “We ought to know that by now. Visser One is different from Visser Three. Visser Three's twin was totally different from him. Aftran is different too. She doesn't want to enslave anyone. She wants to see and hear and run, just like we get to do. And she's not the only Yeerk who feels that way. Some of them realize that what they do is wrong.”
Trust Cassie to make friends with the one good Yeerk we've ever come across. “But you didn't know that when you let her make you into a Controller,” I said.
“No, I didn't. I made a choice. A stupid choice. A leap of faith, I guess.” Cassie shrugged. “I got lucky. And I'm sorry for putting you all at risk. I really am. I won't do anything like that again. But I won't forget what she taught me. I'm going to repay her for what she did. And I'm going to keep fighting.”
“Does that mean you're back?” said Jake.
“Yeah. I'm back. Now can someone go help Karen?”
“I'll go,” said Marco. “I remember where she was.”
«I'll go with Marco,» Tobias said.
“Feel free to use an upstairs window as a launch point,” said Erek.
Tobias perched on Marco's shoulder, opposite Diamanta, and they went upstairs.
Cassie looked back up at the Chee expectantly. “Aftran and I decided we wanted to have peace, if only between the two of us. She wants to share a body with a Chee, if one of you is willing, and go back to the Yeerk pool every three days so she can see her family.”
“Yeerks have families?” I said.
«This is unacceptable,» Ax said. «If she is allowed to return to the Yeerk pool, she will betray us.»
“Just a minute ago, Aftran was an 'it', and now she's a 'she,'” Cassie pointed out to Ax. “If she wanted to betray us, she could have done it when she was in me. I trusted her with my life. With all of our lives. Maybe it was stupid of me. I'm almost sure it was. But she didn't betray me. And she won't.”
“Delia will do it,” said Mr. King. “All of the Chee are listening via CheeNet. There is a Chee playing the part of a community college student named Delia Nguyen. She is curious about Aftran and hopes she might learn more about her by sharing a body with her. She will play the part of a voluntary host who is willing to join the Yeerks if Aftran is her Controller.”
“That would be perfect,” Cassie said. “Aftran told me that the Yeerks value voluntary hosts. She won't be punished for losing Karen if she comes back as a voluntary Controller. That's why it's so important to help Karen now. If a Controller cop finds her, she might still be recaptured, but if her parents keep her under really close watch from now on - which they probably will, after what happened - she can be free.”
“And we'll have another spy in the Yeerk pool,” said Erek.
“Two more spies in the Yeerk pool,” Cassie corrected. “Can Delia come now? Aftran can't last long in this bowl.”
“Yes, she's on her way,” said Erek.
“One more thing. I want to check on Aftran regularly, to make sure you're treating her right. I know you mean well, but I have no way to know for sure unless I put her in my head and ask.”
“Cassie,” said Jake. “I'm not sure that's a good - ”
“She already knows all our secrets. She let me go. She let all of us go. I trust her.” Cassie looked at Ax. “If some Andalites can be traitors, then can't some Yeerks be on our side?”
Ax's whole body twitched. The betrayal aboard the Ascalin is a sensitive topic for him. Let him squirm, I thought. I've seen human scum like Jeremy Jason McCole give themselves up to Yeerks. Ax needs to learn that Andalites aren't perfect either.
I guess it makes sense that some Yeerks might buck the trend too, Abineng mused.
«Prince Jake,» said Ax. «This Yeerk cannot cause any trouble inside a Chee. But in the Yeerk pool or in Cassie's brain, it could cause inestimable damage. We cannot take this risk.»
“Cassie took the risk already, didn't she?” said Jake. “OK, Cassie. You can have your weekly visit with Aftran. But you have to bring at least one of us with you, just in case. Say, Rachel to come in with you, and Tobias to keep watch through the window.”
Cassie nodded. Quincy shot me a glance. Neither of them had said a word to me since we came in. “Sure,” I said, though I dreaded coming back next week. Now that my terror had faded into relief, my anger at Cassie was slowly bubbling back.
I can't believe she gambled with all of our lives like that. With all of our families' lives, Abineng thought, shooting Quincy a poisonous glance in return. He looked away. I wonder if Quincy still thinks he's better than me.
“Would you like something to eat or drink while we wait for Delia to arrive?” said Mr. King, flicking his hologram back on. His holographic thrush dæmon fluffed its feathers. “We do have a functioning kitchen.”
“I'm really thirsty,” Cassie admitted.
We went to the kitchen for snacks. Ax morphed human so he could try the raspberry-flavored seltzer and different kinds of cheese on crackers. Erek let out some of the dogs for us to play with. I drank seltzer and rubbed a schnauzer's belly as Jake tried to show Ax how to eat the cheese and crackers. Abi and I ignored Cassie until she said, “Rachel?”
I didn't look at her, but Abi did.
“Could you meet me at the Gardens on Saturday? I figure that's when my parents will start letting me out of their sight for more than five minutes at a time. We need to talk. I owe you an apology.”
That got my attention. “An apology for what?”
“Well, for nearly betraying everyone to the Yeerk Empire, but I owe everyone an apology for that. But I need to make right what I did to you.”
“You didn't do anything to me.”
“Yes, I did.” Quincy fluttered over and landed on one of Abi's horns. I stared at him for a moment. Vampire bat. What had Cassie learned from the Yeerk? Only a couple of days had passed, and nothing was the same. “Rachel, you're my best friend, and I want to keep it that way.”
“Fine,” I said. “But why the Gardens?”
“There's a morph I need to acquire. I want you to be there.”
“Um,” I said. “OK.” Abi shook his head a bit, and Quincy hopped back onto the couch and curled up as a pangolin.
The doorbell rang. Erek opened the front door. A young woman with long dark hair, a broad smiling face, and a big wrinkly dog dæmon came in. She dressed conservatively, in a nicely colored but ill-fitting button-down shirt and black slacks. “Good morning, Erek,” she said. She took a look at Jake and Ax with their mess of crumbled crackers, and Cassie and I sitting awkwardly on the couch with a schnauzer at our feet. “And these must be the Animorphs.”
“Jake, Aximili, Rachel, Cassie,” said Erek, gesturing to each of us in turn, “meet Delia.”
“Hi,” we said.
Delia nodded at the bowl in Cassie's lap. “Aftran, I presume?”
Cassie's grip reflexively tightened on the bowl. “Yes.”
“Hmmm.” Delia flicked her hologram off. “Give me a minute to rearrange my motor and sensory apparatus. I'll need to mimic neural impulses in my circuitry for her to be able to use any of my faculties. I think I'll model the chamber after yours, Erek, though with a somewhat more comfortable environment.”
There was no apparent change, though we all watched with interest, especially Ax. Then the front of her head split open, revealing a chamber like a tiny fish tank surrounded by electrodes.
Cassie's brows came together. She narrowed her eyes at Erek a little. “You could have made this in your head, and you keep your Yeerk captive in a steel cage? That's cruel!”
“I keep him in stasis. He knows nothing of where he is or what has happened to him. When I have no further use for him, the last thing he will remember will be the Yeerk pool before he 'infested' me.”
Cassie looked mollified, but she said, “What will you do with him when you don't need him anymore?”
“I'll give him symptoms consistent with a Yeerk disease that causes retrograde amnesia. His superiors will assume that this disease is the reason why he remembers nothing. I will return him to the Pool and they will treat his symptoms.”
“May I suggest that you fill the tank with an electrolytic analog of the Yeerk pool?” Delia said.
“Of course,” said Erek. He went to the kitchen and came back with a pitcher. It looked like plain water, but I guess he must have dissolved something in it. He poured some into the tank in Delia's head. It was an odd thing to watch, but no odder than what we usually see, I guess. Ax peppered the Chee with questions about the chemical composition of Yeerk pool sludge.
Cassie stood with the bowl in her hands and walked over to Delia, peering at the inside of her head. “So, do I just… plop her in?”
“Yes. The electrodes will automatically attach themselves.” The Chee hummed. “Mm, this should be interesting. I've always wanted to have a civil conversation with a Yeerk.”
“I wouldn't call Aftran civil, exactly,” Cassie said, cupping the Yeerk gently in her hand. We all stared at the glistening slug as she slid into the tiny tank. “But she does make interesting conversation.”
The electrodes, which looked like fancy versions of the kind they use on ER, clamped all over the Yeerk's body, especially the front where its little palps waved. Delia retracted the tank into her head and flipped her hologram back on. Her expression was furrowed in concentration. Then her face went slack, and her dæmon's wagging tail went limp.
“Is she all right?” said Cassie.
“Yes,” said Mr. King. “She's explaining to Aftran what's going on, and the differences between interfacing with a biological brain and a Chee's mechano-organic construct. The motor and speech functions will probably come easily to Aftran, but the senses are new, and controlling the hologram is completely outside her experience.”
“She looks really creepy right now,” I said. “Like a zombie.” I buried a hand in Abi's fur.
“Cassie?” came a dead monotone voice from Delia the Chee. “Are you here?”
“Yes, I'm here.” Cassie reached out and took the Chee's hand. “Can you hear me, Aftran? I'm holding your hand.”
“Yes. I see you too. I don't know how to show it with the hologram's eyes. But I see you,” said the flat, inhuman voice. “It feels so good to see you again. Without Karen screaming in my head.”
That made me shiver. I leaned forward and rested my chin on Abi's head, just in front of the horns.
“Karen will be OK,” said Cassie. “Marco and Tobias are taking her to her parents right now. They won't let her out of their sight.” It was so strange, hearing Cassie talk to Aftran about Marco and Tobias as if she knew them. But of course, she did, from Cassie's memories.
“They won't. They love her. Now they have her back, even if they never knew she was gone.”
Cassie squeezed her hand. “What do you want to do now?”
“See what Delia's life is like. Learn more about humans and your planet. Karen was too young and knew nothing. Go for walks in the sunshine. See my family again. Learn about the Yeerk resistance.”
“There's a Yeerk resistance?” Jake said. He had been staring, wide-eyed, at the entire exchange.
“I told you, Jake. Aftran's not the only one. It's not that every single Yeerk decided to take us over. It's the Yeerk Empire that's invading Earth, and some Yeerks think the government is wrong.”
“I have a question for you, Aftran,” I said.
“Yes, Rachel?” Delia didn't turn toward me or acknowledge me, but that didn't mean Aftran wasn't watching me.
“When Cassie asked you what you want to do now, you said you want to go for walks in the sunshine. Why is that important to you?”
“Once you learn what life is outside the pool, it is impossible to go back. Every Yeerk is an addict. One taste of life as a Gedd or Hork-Bajir or human or even Taxxon, and we crave more. What is a warm current in the pool compared to sunlight shining through leaves? What is the texture of sludge compared to the soft slide of silk through your fingers? What is the breadth of the pool compared to running across an open field? Of course walks in the sunshine are important to me. They are important enough that Yeerks are willing to enslave your people to have them.”
“An entire planetary invasion for that,” murmured Abi.
“Is that not what you fight for as well? The freedom to experience the world and all its joys? It is what I fought for, until I decided that it was not worth the suffering of a child.” Her face, and her dæmon, remained still as if she were in a coma as she spoke.
“I think I could get to like Aftran, Cassie,” I said.
“Aftran, would you be willing to spy for us in the Yeerk pool?” Jake said.
“I said I would learn more about the Yeerk resistance. I will tell Cassie what I learn.”
“Thank you,” Cassie said.
“Thank you, Cassie. I will do any favor you ask. Delia wishes to speak now.”
Suddenly, her face became animated, her dæmon's face wrinkling into a doggy smile. “Well. That was different.”
“It was all right for you?” Cassie asked, letting go of her hand.
“Of course!” said Delia. “I've lived a very long time, you know, and life can get boring over the millennia. I've seen the crafting of Ming Dynasty vases, and I've seen massacres from Genghis Khan's to Pol Pot's. Much of human history is the same. But this is something new, and I get to be firsthand witness to it. That's worth sharing a body for. I've had this one all to myself for a long time, after all.” She shrugged. “But the real reason I took over is because I have class in forty minutes. Aftran is nowhere near ready to start playing my current persona, so she needs to take a backseat for now and watch how I live my life. I have a feeling she'll enjoy going to class, anyway.”
“Thank you, Delia. It means a lot to me.”
“It means a lot to Aftran too.” Her face and voice went flat, and her dæmon lost all life again. “Goodbye, Cassie.”
“Goodbye, Aftran. I'll talk to you in a week.”
Delia resumed control and walked out to her car.
“Well,” said Cassie. “I guess I'd better go home. My parents must be worried sick.”
It took Jake a moment to pull himself together. “Yeah. They called the police and everything. We should fly back to the woods, and you can demorph somewhere near your house. Then you can wander back home and tell them you survived on mushrooms or something.”
“I did survive on mushrooms, actually.”
“Well, there you go, then.”
It was Emeraude who saw me first from her pulley platform as I straggled home in my morphing outfit, cut up with thorns and my hair crusted with dirt. I walked through the thorns and rubbed my hair with the dirt on purpose. That's what my parents expected to see, after a night lost in the woods. My mom and dad ran outside and bear-hugged me. Emeraude gave Quincy and Dashiell a ride on her head back to the house, my mom's dæmon nuzzling mine the whole way. They fussed over me and made brunch while I took a shower. Over the meal, they asked me what happened, Dashiell holding Quincy in his paws as if he might break. I told them about Karen and the bear and surviving on mushrooms. They told me I was a hero for saving Karen.
Funny how I still didn't feel like a hero. I hope I never will feel like a hero. The moment you start thinking that about yourself is the moment you stop questioning your decisions.
I had to repeat my story to the police. It was tough, because one of the cops who took my statement was a known Controller. It wasn't that I couldn't keep my story straight. I've actually gotten very good at that, as long as I'm not on the spot and have time to think of a good one. But I couldn't help but wonder about the Controller, who I once would have assumed was evil. What was his relationship with his host? Was he a voluntary, who he got along with well? Or did he have to live with his host's screaming and begging? If so, did he care? It was impossible to tell, but it still occupied my thoughts.
After that I had to call all of my relatives to reassure them I was fine. My grandparents, aunts, and uncles had all been frantic. My Uncle Barry doesn't even live in California and he knew all about it. It was embarrassing, but it was also kind of nice to have them fuss over me. I wasn't a hero, but I had been through a lot. My dad made my favorite dinner, potatoes au gratin. I fell asleep not long after that. I had barely slept, out there in the woods.
The next day we got the news that the clinic would be funded. I smiled at what my dad told me about the banker and his daughter. Karen was free.
Finally, Saturday came. The day I dreaded, but was looking forward to at the same time. We met at the main gate to the Gardens. I said hi, but Rachel gave me a tight smile with no friendliness in it. We went to the entrance to the staff section without speaking.
The employees' corridor was deserted. Rachel and I stood with our backs against opposite walls, facing each other. Abineng was a blackbuck, a medium-sized antelope with long twisted horns. Quincy was a rat on my shoulder, his tail draping down along my arm.
“You were right, Rachel,” I said quietly.
“Right about what?” she said, her blue eyes cool. Abineng was impassive, staring at the wall instead of me or Quincy.
“I remember exactly what you said to me when I quit. Every word. 'You've just said the whole world can drop dead, so long as you, Cassie, don't have to end up turning into me.' You were right. That's exactly what I was saying. And I was wrong, twice over.” I held up a finger. “One. You're not some kind of monster.” Another finger. “And two, even if you were, that wouldn't make it right to give up the fight for our freedom. I'd forgotten what I was fighting for. And I didn't think it'd make a difference if I quit anyway. But anyone can make a difference. Aftran did.”
I leaned back against the wall. “Did I ever tell you why I use wolf as a battle morph, even though there are lots more dangerous animals at the Gardens?”
“No.”
“I thought I could fight cleaner that way. I usually go for the shins and hamstring Hork-Bajir, so they can't fight, but they're still alive. I wanted to spare them. I saw the way you fought, killing Hork-Bajir with one swipe of your grizzly paw, and I was… sickened. I thought my way was better.” I laughed bitterly. “Aftran made me see the truth. The Yeerk Empire doesn't want damaged hosts. They kill the ones maimed in battle. All I did was make them suffer before they died. Your way was kinder all along. It didn't matter whether I felt bad about killing them or whether you didn't. All that matters is the result. And the result of my actions was more suffering.
“Rachel, I promise I won't judge you anymore. I don't know what's right any better than you do. Every time I think I know, the universe proves me wrong. All any of us can do is try our best. I'm sorry.”
“I can't believe you were so selfish, Cassie. When you quit the Animorphs, that hurt me.” Rachel's voice was tight and she didn't look me in the eye, but Abineng pinned me with a yellow stare. “But when you revealed yourself to Aftran, when you let her into your head, that didn't just hurt me. You put Jordan in danger. You gambled with Sara. I can't even look at you without thinking of my little sisters as slaves. Because if it had been any other Yeerk, that's what would have happened.”
“I was selfish.” I could feel my throat closing in on itself. “I thought my pain was the only pain that mattered. That it was more important than anything else. I was wrong. I see that now. All I can do is keep fighting and hope. That's all any of us have.” I looked Abineng in the eye. “I forgot what I was fighting for. I forgot what was on the line. That's why I'm here. I need a new battle morph, one that's deadly, not just dangerous. I need a battle morph that reminds me of why I fight this war. I want to acquire a bull moose.”
“Like Emeraude,” said Rachel. “But with horns.”
“One blow from those horns, one kick or stomp from those legs, will end it. Getting hit by a moose is like getting hit by a truck with antlers. No more leaving Hork-Bajir crippled, waiting to die.”
And we won't have to use our teeth to kill anything anymore, thought Quincy, remembering the strip of Hork-Bajir flesh between my teeth.
“And it'll be hard to forget about whose lives are on the line when I'm morphing a moose every time I go into battle,” I added. “Look, Rachel, if you're not ready to forgive me, you can leave now and tell me when you're ready to talk again. But I'd like it if you'd come with me for this.”
“I'm not ready to forgive you yet,” said Rachel. “But I'll come with you anyway.”
“This way,” I said. “They're doing maintenance on the moose habitat, so there won't be any visitors. It's near the end of the mating season, so the bull shouldn't be aggressive.”
I went down the corridor and opened the door for the moose habitat. It was a miniature forest with a salt lick. Two cows, like Emeraude, and a bull were quietly grazing. They paused to look at us as we approached.
“Stand back,” I said. “Be ready to move if he tries anything.”
I approached the bull moose just near enough to be within the range of the bond between me and Quincy. The moose were all eyeing me nervously. Quincy dropped off my shoulder and darted through the grass. He touched a paw to the moose's hoof. We focused on the moose, on its calm strength, acquiring its DNA. The bull went calm, though the cows still watched me.
Quincy came back to me. Rachel and I left as quickly as we could, before the acquiring trance could fade. My heart was still fluttering against my ribs as we stepped out in the hallway.
“There's one more thing I want to do,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“I don't know if Jake ever told you this,” I said. “But when a Yeerk's in your head, you can see into its mind too, at least a little bit. When Aftran was in me, I felt her memories. I can't stop thinking about the time she had first experienced vision. Yeerks are blind in their natural state. When they see for the first time, it's overwhelming. The light, the shapes, the shadows, the depth of it all. They appreciate seeing so much more than we ever will. But what Aftran loves most of all is the color. I think she could be happy even if Delia never gives her control over her body, as long as she gets to see color. No matter what I do, I'll never see color the way she does. But there's this tropical habitat with all of these flowers and colorful birds, and I thought, maybe I'd give it a try. To look at all of that color and imagine I'd never seen it before.”
Rachel shook her head. “Cassie, you are such a sap. But I think that's kind of why I became your friend in the first place. I'm still angry with you. After this there's going to be a hardcore silent treatment. But for now - just for now - I'll do this.”
“Thanks, Rachel. It's more than I deserve.”
We snuck back out of the employees' area and went to the tropical habitat. There wasn't a big crowd, so we got to stand close. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine being a Yeerk in a pool, knowing nothing outside of it. Then I opened my eyes.
A bird with a brilliant red breast perched on a branch just above my head. A blue bird that looked like it was wearing red lipstick on its beak hopped down from a branch to eat a slice of green apple from a bowl. Enormous flowers in every color pooled with droplets on their petals. The green of the miniature rainforest was so bright it made my eyes water - or were those tears?
I stared for a while longer before I felt Quincy turn into a crow and fix his gaze on Rachel. Her long blonde hair was in a braid hanging over her left shoulder. Her hand was loosely curled around one of Abineng's horns, idly rubbing one of its twists with her thumb. Her eyes, staring into space, were as blue as the box that gave us our gift, our weapon, our curse. This was my best friend, who I would never abandon again.
And if I had made the wrong gamble, and lost everything, that may be the sight I would have missed most of all.
Notes
Some references for the more obscure animals and dæmon forms in the story, for those interested.
When Karen was hiding from the bear in the tree, Cavanagh was a damselfly.
At the Kings' house, Abineng was a markhor, an endangered species of wild goat.
Just to remind you that vampire bats can be cute.
Delia the Chee's “dæmon” is a Shar Pei.
At the Gardens, Abineng was a blackbuck.
The birds Cassie saw at the tropical habitat were a double-toothed barbet and a great blue turaco, respectively.
