On Ice

Mar 28, 2012 06:58

Title: On Ice
Fandom: Avengers (comics)
Pairing: Steve/Bucky
Summary: Am I old enough for you now?
Author's Note: Written to fill the aging prompt on my Avengers table. Loosely inspired by a scene from Blackout by Connie Willis.



Steve grinned, pleasantly surprised by how detailed the map was. “You must’ve put a lot of effort into this. Thanks, Bucky.”

Bucky beamed. “I did. And you’re welcome.” He shuffled his feet, eyes not leaving them. “There’s something I wanted to talk about. Before the mission.”

“Alright. Shoot.”

“Well, I know I could get in a lotta trouble for this, but you’re my best pal and I trust you. So, I guess, here goes.” He took a deep breath. “The thing is that I really like you. I think you’re great, and that you’re really attractive.”

Steve’s eyes widened with panic. “Bucky, we can’t have this conversation. We’re not going to have this conversation.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re sixteen, and it’d be illegal.”

Bucky held up his hands as if to will Steve to hear him out. “Which brings me to my other point. What if there’s some way to make me older?”

Steve shook his head. “If there were a way to make you older, I wouldn’t let you do it. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I let you throw years of your life away just so you’ll be old enough for me.”

“It’d be my choice, not yours. If I’m mature enough to fight for my country, I’m mature enough to make up my mind about this. I’m in love with you and I’ll find some way for us to be together.”

Steve ran his hands through his hair, growing more frustrated. “You’re sixteen! You don’t know what love is! You’ll change your mind in a couple years; find some nice girl to settle down with. And you’ll forget you ever felt this way.”

Bucky’s jaw set with determination. “I won’t forget. Can you at least answer me this? If we were the same age, and it weren’t illegal, would you be interested?”

“Bucky! You’re not going to try to make yourself older.”

And a smirk spread across Bucky’s face. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Steve smiled-an action he instantly regretted, since the kid would probably take it as encouragement. “No, I didn’t. And I’m not going to.”

Bucky’s smirk became a full-on grin. He looked about ready to jump up and down to celebrate his victory. “I’ll take that as a yes. Don’t worry, I’ll think of something. There’s gotta be a way to make me older! I’ll see you at the mission.” He scurried off with a bounce in his step.

Steve chuckled and shook his head. Bucky could be irrepressible. It was almost endearing. Steve just hoped Bucky would forget about this crazy plot to make himself older.
Bucky didn’t get the chance. He didn’t return from that mission.

###

Steve still has trouble recognizing his old friend. The young man has winter in his eyes. Those blue eyes are icier than they’d once been. He’s broken, cold metal where his arm had once been. The man unravels before Steve, gaining back his old memories and losing the rest. He looks down at himself, and suddenly, something’s changed.

“I guess they found a way to make me older.” Steve’s relieved to hear that familiar sarcasm, even if there is bitterness behind it now.

“Well? Am I old enough for you now?”

Steve pulls the man into a tight embrace. “Oh, Bucky.” And he’s holding back tears. What’s happened to his friend is unspeakable, and all Bucky can think of is their last conversation. Steve is haunted by what’s become of his friend, haunted by the fact that Bucky is here, and Bucky is Bucky, and not Winter Soldier. He may never be whole again, and Steve knows he’ll never be the person he was, but he’s here, and it’s too much to take.

He takes Bucky’s face in his hands and kisses him.

avengers (comics), steve/bucky, avengers tables, slash, fanfiction

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