A piece of wood

[jokermage]

Look at this. It's a piece of wood. Do you understand? Wood.

Wood, you see, is one of the five components that make up trees:

1. Wood
2. Bark
3. Sap
4. Leaves
5. Other

Things which are not components that make up trees include (but are not limited to):

1. Wood Glue
2. Morning Wood
3. People or Fictional Characters named or nick-named "Woody"
4. Dryads, which are not actually real
5. Golf clubs used to hit the ball far and low
6. Botulism

One could argue that cars are a component that makes up trees, but I would argue that that is actually immoral cohabitation.

But enough about trees, I wanted to talk about the piece of wood,

I mean, it's a piece wood. Do you realize how useful wood is? No of course you don't. If you did, you would have passed out from sheer excitement after clicking on the link. Just saying the word "wood" would get your pulse racing. Fine, I'll tell you how useful wood is.

Wood is very useful.

You can... carve... it. Or burn it. You can eat it, but not digest it. Your enzymes are weak.

Let me explain. There are these people called carpenters. Usually they travel across the land singing folk songs or something. When they are not doing that, they use tools to shape pieces of wood and attach pieces of wood to other pieces in order to make useful shit like tables and chairs. A long time ago, people used to make entire houses out of pieces of wood. But that was a long time ago.

So when you see a piece of wood, treat it with some respect. Or worship it.

Some fun facts about pieces of wood:

• If you carve your initials into a piece wood, you are a horrible person and guilty of violating the Federal Wood Preservation Act of 2005.
• Two pieces of wood can be permanently fused through the healing power of hydrocortisone cream.
• At least two Playboy Playmates were actually pieces of wood with extensive airbrush work.
• A piece of wood can be used as a cheap alternative to a serpentine belt in situations where you do not expect the car to move.
• In 2012, the Earth will collide with a giant piece of wood that has been floating in space since 1784.
• Hitting a person with a piece of wood is considered a war crime by several people I've met in chat rooms.
• Hitler owned a piece of wood that mysteriously burned to coals and ash after the invasion of Normandy.
• At least five people I've talked to in bars have claimed that there is a massive piece of wood that runs through the Earth at the poles.

I hope this post has given you a new respect for pieces of wood.