long time no see....
wow...
it sure has been along time since i did one of these. Where to start? Actually lets just start it off with two of the most recent events in my life that would make most people go insane....or commit suicide. Right now i'm at my moms house where i'm going to be for awhile and the reason i did this was because i've come to the realization that sometimes you just need to give up your pride and see that everybody needs help one time of there life or another. I mean i could deal with being houseless but wow...some of the weird stuff i've seen and always being tired. I mean i started smoking weed more, getting kicked out of places, trying different drugs just to be happy for a few hours or so. But there was one situation that really made me want to go back home with my mom, and it was where i was offered to take extasy. The people who read this don't even know how afraid of this drug i am, but at the same time i was so close to taking it. I mean just to fucking get rid of the pain of not being wanted, having nowhere to sleep, people breaking your heart, and worst of all knowing that your dad doesn't want you. I mean your own fucking family! Not wanting you!...i hope that whoever reads this doesn't have to go through the shit that i had to. I'll write another entry later on about things that happened to me during my period out on the streets.
Now on to the second thing that i'm going to write about. Erica....oh Erica. I would do anything for this beautiful woman, i mean i told her things about me and my family that make so mad, that i haven't even told scott my best friend! I mean i fell so hard for this girl and all she did was take me on a joy ride so that way she had someone to have during her break up. And what happened...i'm a rebound guy...meanwhile while she goes back to her ex, i'm stuck here thinking about all the fun and romantic times we had together and think of what about me that she couldn't see that i would be the best guy she could have? Ever. And i guess this goes for other ex girlfriends who dumped me for stupid reasons...and you know who you are and i just want to say that yes sometimes i do think about them and what i could've done differently to keep you in my arms....but that's the past, and i don't dwell on shit like that cause then it makes me feel bad. But for some odd reason i can't get this girl out of my head. At any fucking moment she'll pop in there and then i get sad cause i realize that she's not mine! It's especailly bad when that damn dixie chicks song comes on, that landslide song. Listen to this, while in the middle of crazy d's that song came on and she asked me to slow down right in the middle of the place in front of everybody. I liked this girl so much that i put my fear of doing something stupid while slow dancing just so i could go up there with her and show her that it didn't matter...just as long as i was with her.....sigh.
but enough whinning...
my life is so heart-breaking and rejected that most people would kill themselves over it. I mean i've heard of people "cut" themselves for stupider things than this.
buh-bye.
it sure has been along time since i did one of these. Where to start? Actually lets just start it off with two of the most recent events in my life that would make most people go insane....or commit suicide. Right now i'm at my moms house where i'm going to be for awhile and the reason i did this was because i've come to the realization that sometimes you just need to give up your pride and see that everybody needs help one time of there life or another. I mean i could deal with being houseless but wow...some of the weird stuff i've seen and always being tired. I mean i started smoking weed more, getting kicked out of places, trying different drugs just to be happy for a few hours or so. But there was one situation that really made me want to go back home with my mom, and it was where i was offered to take extasy. The people who read this don't even know how afraid of this drug i am, but at the same time i was so close to taking it. I mean just to fucking get rid of the pain of not being wanted, having nowhere to sleep, people breaking your heart, and worst of all knowing that your dad doesn't want you. I mean your own fucking family! Not wanting you!...i hope that whoever reads this doesn't have to go through the shit that i had to. I'll write another entry later on about things that happened to me during my period out on the streets.
Now on to the second thing that i'm going to write about. Erica....oh Erica. I would do anything for this beautiful woman, i mean i told her things about me and my family that make so mad, that i haven't even told scott my best friend! I mean i fell so hard for this girl and all she did was take me on a joy ride so that way she had someone to have during her break up. And what happened...i'm a rebound guy...meanwhile while she goes back to her ex, i'm stuck here thinking about all the fun and romantic times we had together and think of what about me that she couldn't see that i would be the best guy she could have? Ever. And i guess this goes for other ex girlfriends who dumped me for stupid reasons...and you know who you are and i just want to say that yes sometimes i do think about them and what i could've done differently to keep you in my arms....but that's the past, and i don't dwell on shit like that cause then it makes me feel bad. But for some odd reason i can't get this girl out of my head. At any fucking moment she'll pop in there and then i get sad cause i realize that she's not mine! It's especailly bad when that damn dixie chicks song comes on, that landslide song. Listen to this, while in the middle of crazy d's that song came on and she asked me to slow down right in the middle of the place in front of everybody. I liked this girl so much that i put my fear of doing something stupid while slow dancing just so i could go up there with her and show her that it didn't matter...just as long as i was with her.....sigh.
but enough whinning...
my life is so heart-breaking and rejected that most people would kill themselves over it. I mean i've heard of people "cut" themselves for stupider things than this.
buh-bye.