I think I figured it out
So things with Nicole are okay. She's still dating him and she says they're going to break up when she moves out, but I can't shake off the feeling that it isn't going to happen. She says she can't stand him but she seems to still hang around him constantly, so I don't know what to think there. It just feels like she tells me what she knows I want to here even if it's not true. She tells me she can't stand him and she wants to be with me but she sees him on a daily basis and I'm lucky to even talk to her on the phone. And when I call her sounding depressed she doesn't even ask what's wrong, she just let's me go.
Then there's the girl I met online. She's nice and cute and all, but I just don't think I want to start a new relationship right now. I think I'm going to have to just suck it up and be honest with her. I mean I shouldn't feel bad because nothing at all has happened between us, but I still do. We stood around and talked after the movie for a long time. I know she kept waiting for me to kiss her but it just wasn't going to happen. I kept trying to drop hints that I wanted to leave, but she didn't want to. Thankfully she went home for dinner or we may have been out there all night. I've been trying to be as uninteresting and annoying as possible so she'll just lose interest in me, but so far it isn't working.
I'd like for things to just go back to the way they were before this whole mess, but I don't know if they can. Nicole wants to try, but it doesn't seem like she wants to try as much as I do and that discourages me. She also says she's still trying to go to Missouri but she hasn't even sent her CCSN transcripts in, and it's already February. I mean, she told me she didn't think she was going to go, and when she saw that it upset me she changed her answer. It's just always what I want to hear, but I don't think she means it. I guess it's good that she cares about my happiness, but I wish she'd just tell me the truth.
Maybe I don't have things figured out. Maybe I never will.
Then there's the girl I met online. She's nice and cute and all, but I just don't think I want to start a new relationship right now. I think I'm going to have to just suck it up and be honest with her. I mean I shouldn't feel bad because nothing at all has happened between us, but I still do. We stood around and talked after the movie for a long time. I know she kept waiting for me to kiss her but it just wasn't going to happen. I kept trying to drop hints that I wanted to leave, but she didn't want to. Thankfully she went home for dinner or we may have been out there all night. I've been trying to be as uninteresting and annoying as possible so she'll just lose interest in me, but so far it isn't working.
I'd like for things to just go back to the way they were before this whole mess, but I don't know if they can. Nicole wants to try, but it doesn't seem like she wants to try as much as I do and that discourages me. She also says she's still trying to go to Missouri but she hasn't even sent her CCSN transcripts in, and it's already February. I mean, she told me she didn't think she was going to go, and when she saw that it upset me she changed her answer. It's just always what I want to hear, but I don't think she means it. I guess it's good that she cares about my happiness, but I wish she'd just tell me the truth.
Maybe I don't have things figured out. Maybe I never will.