.0121 - Dancin' Around the Lies We Tell

Dec 10, 2014 00:30

Jensen/Jared (Jensen/Danneel, Jared/Genevieve)
663 words
title by Lorde
teaser: Now I'm gonna kill the pizza company.


„Your pizza, sir.“

Torn jeans and loose Henley, a silver chain glistening on bare chest in the V of his neckline. Even at home, alone and hungry, Jensen looks like a deserter from Calvin Klein.

There’s a frown on his forehead, and a pout on his lips; displeased, morose. “What are you doing here?”

“Pizza delivery.” Jared pushes the flat box towards Jensen, letting him smell the heat, the fragrance of baked pepperoni, olive oil, and melted cheese. Irresistible. “C’mon, don’t you want it? You sounded hungry.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Jensen notes quietly, like the words don’t really matter, like they never did.

“Yeah,” Jared agrees as he heads for the kitchen, not waiting for Jensen, or for his invitation. “Heard you all the hundred times before.”

Jensen stands in the door, arms crossed over his chest, hesitating, undecided. Edge of irritation still in his tone. “But you never listen.”

“I listen,” Jared shrugs, setting the pizza aside. “Sometimes. But the ‘no’ you keep saying kinda collides with the ‘yes’ I keep seeing in your eyes. So where is the truth?”

Jensen lifts his left hand, showing long, slender fingers, and the golden ring on one of them. Like a brand. A quiet promise. A vow he’s broken, so many times already. Not because he doesn’t love her. But because he loves them both. “Here. Here is the truth.”

“Didn’t stop you this summer in Austin.”

Jensen’s new home. The first night in his lake house. Alone, without his girls. Alone, with Jared. Bare floor, and old furniture beneath white covers. Like ghosts. Specters of yesterday. Cold beer and too vivid memories. It was easy, almost, to forget, for a moment. And it wasn’t. Like it’s never been.

“I made a mistake.” Hands in the pockets of his jeans, and eyes cast down, to the timber floor beneath his bare feet. Guilt and regrets, and tons of other emotions he’d never admit feeling.

“And the time before? Or after?”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes lately.”

There’s a no in his words, clear, final, in his posture. But when Jared steps closer, enough to feel the warmth of Jensen’s body, so familiar, so inviting, and taste the wine on his breath, sweet-sour, like Jensen himself, he doesn’t back up, he doesn’t push him away.

Jared curls his fingers in the front of Jensen’s shirt and tugs, guiding him closer. Jensen goes, slow, but willing.

“I guess we both have,” Jared notes, not entirely sure what exactly he means. The last few months? Or the last few years?

Jensen’s lips are soft, and hot, and they taste like stop, like all the nights they made love. Then. Now. Tomorrow. Next year. His fingers are cold at the nape of Jared’s neck, on his chest, but insistent in the way they fight with the zipper on his jacket, with the buttons beneath.

Peculiar, how a solid no can be such a tremulous yes at the same time. In one breath.

“This will stop one day. Right?”

Jensen, naked. Almost. And the canopy of the Vancouver skyline behind him. In front of him. Drops of water still pearling on his skin, dimples at the dip of his spine, tiny bruises on his narrow hips. This is the kind of picture that Jared would tweet. If he could.

For a moment, he thinks that Jensen’s talking about the weather. Hopes that he means the heavy, steel-gray clouds, rain instead of snow. Knows that he doesn’t.

“One day we’ll be strong enough to stop this? Smart enough to stop ruining our perfect lives?”

Perfect.

Jared knows that he should say Yes, knows that that’s what Jensen wants to hear, what he’s waiting for. Wants to say it, too. But when he steps up to him, nakedness and heat, and lust that never evaporates, he forgets. “I don’t know.”

It seems to sound a bit better than the definite no sitting bitter and stodgy on his tongue.

---
Yes, I know. I really need to start writing something else than infidelity. But... you know, it's so tempting. Blame them. Not me.

.pairing: jensen/jared, warning: infidelity, year: 2014, genre: established rl, universe: non-au (j²), .pairing: jensen/jared with j/d & j/g, length: 500 to 1k

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