R-E-S-P-E-C-T
so, we have like a 2-day week. i am so freakin' happy that i don't know what to do.
i have been real mellow and cool because i know i won't have to put so much effort into proving how real i am to people.
i wrote two poems today already in 1st block. i feel like writing even more. but i have to wait till the words genuinely come to me.
patrick(nice dude that goes to Westwood) came up to me and asked me why i didn't go to Hargis. i told him plainly that i couldn't go. i couldn't just blurt out and tell him that my mother didn't feel comfortable letting me go off for the weekend with "people that she didn't know". i thought that that was bullshit, but you know how it goes. so, i ended up being upset about that because i felt that i had let them down. i don't like letting people down, especially when they most need me. it seems to be so easy for people to do that and not care. it's like nothing else matters about what i may think, feel, or want. it's all part of life. you just have to act a certain way.
i am tired of having to be so damn civilized. that's why i can see how Adrian and i fall out so much. because he expects me to be a certain way and i just won't give him the benefit. he can talk so easily to certain people but when it comes to me, he feels like he has to be cruel and mean in order to communicate with me, and if any of you KNOW me, than you know that's just not the case. i am nice to people who are nice to me. when you want to be mean, than hell, i can be just as mean. when you want to be nice, i can be nicer. i guess i didn't come off that way to him or certain others in that damn theatre class. i am really started to resent the nature of life. these groups and cliques are ridiculous. i be around PEOPLE. ethnicity, age, social class, or whatever, i don't give a damn. i just expect to be treated as an INDIVIDUAL.
i mean, what's wrong with a little respect every now and then?
peace, love, and life, ppl
i have been real mellow and cool because i know i won't have to put so much effort into proving how real i am to people.
i wrote two poems today already in 1st block. i feel like writing even more. but i have to wait till the words genuinely come to me.
patrick(nice dude that goes to Westwood) came up to me and asked me why i didn't go to Hargis. i told him plainly that i couldn't go. i couldn't just blurt out and tell him that my mother didn't feel comfortable letting me go off for the weekend with "people that she didn't know". i thought that that was bullshit, but you know how it goes. so, i ended up being upset about that because i felt that i had let them down. i don't like letting people down, especially when they most need me. it seems to be so easy for people to do that and not care. it's like nothing else matters about what i may think, feel, or want. it's all part of life. you just have to act a certain way.
i am tired of having to be so damn civilized. that's why i can see how Adrian and i fall out so much. because he expects me to be a certain way and i just won't give him the benefit. he can talk so easily to certain people but when it comes to me, he feels like he has to be cruel and mean in order to communicate with me, and if any of you KNOW me, than you know that's just not the case. i am nice to people who are nice to me. when you want to be mean, than hell, i can be just as mean. when you want to be nice, i can be nicer. i guess i didn't come off that way to him or certain others in that damn theatre class. i am really started to resent the nature of life. these groups and cliques are ridiculous. i be around PEOPLE. ethnicity, age, social class, or whatever, i don't give a damn. i just expect to be treated as an INDIVIDUAL.
i mean, what's wrong with a little respect every now and then?
peace, love, and life, ppl