Very Interesting. . .but Stupid
I'm certainly not the first LiveJournaler to write about his list of interests. Uncommon interests are a point of pride among many users. I, for instance, am proud to say that I have eight interests that no one else on LiveJournal has yet gotten hip to. They are (in order):
A Small Leaf
Dong Fiesta
Honoring Debts
Metallica Rulez!
Parking Fines
Quite a Small Leaf
Shootin' at You
Tooth-aches
I'd like to take a moment to discuss the merits of these interests. Who knows, when I'm done maybe you'll decide to add them yourself!
A Small Leaf
This one shouldn't require too much explanation. A Small Leaf has been around for thousands of years, bringing joy and laughter to babies and children all over the world (except Egypt). If you don't know about a Small Leaf, I dare say you have bigger problems than what is on your LiveJournal interests list!
Dong Fiesta
It amazes me that more people haven't caught on to Dong Fiesta. For years Dong Fiesta has consistently provided quality fiesta-ware style dong memorabilia brand product to more than 40 countries across the globe (except Egypt). Dong Fiesta is the industry leader with top-notch Dong-based merchandise at warehouse prices! That's Dong Fiesta, where quality is job #1!
Honoring Debts
This one is just a lie.
Metallica Rulez!
I'm not surprised that no one else lists this interest. After all, Metallica is new to the scene and haven't really found a mainstream audience yet. But you give those boys some time and they are sure to rock the rock world* to its very foundations! The redneck wail of James Hetfield, backed by the workmanlike guitar of Kirk Hammet, all underpinned by the power drumming of Lars Ulrich. Oh yeah, Jason Newstead Robert Trujillo.
Parking Fines
I have always loved parking fines. I remember when I was a boy I used to follow a block behind the meter maid and watch her work. It gave me a strange thrill. The excitement of watching the citation being written out, the suspense of the officer slowly lifting the windshield wiper to place the ticket on the car, the sheer double parkedness of it all, I was hooked from the start! One day I got a little too close to the meter maid and blew my cover. At first she pretended not to notice me, probably hoping I would go away, but after a few hours she finally approached me. I had no choice but to kill her. . .she would have told everyone (except Egypt)! Ever since that day I have faithfully followed the route she used to take and handed out parking citations. It is the least I can do to honor her memory in this special way. Plus I put my address on the ticket and every now and again some idiot actually pays one of these things and I get the cash!
Quite a Small Leaf
Once I discovered a Small Leaf it was only a matter of time before I got hooked on Quite a Small Leaf. What can I say, I'm a leaf-a-holic (hahaha! Just Kidding!). But seriously, you can get high as shit off of leaves. First thing you gotta do is grind a bunch of leaves into a fine paste which you then spread on a cookie sheet and bake for about 17 hours. The leaf paste should become a powder which can then be snorted, smoked, injected or eaten. Quite Small Leaves work the best but a Small Leaf will do in a pinch. If done correctly the finished product will induce altered states of consciousness and vivid hallucinations. The pueblo indians have used this recipe for years to get totally fucking wasted. Except Egypt.
Shootin' at You
You may have noticed me shootin' at you. It's the shit.
Tooth-aches
Egypt.
Now you're up to speed. Why not add these interests to YOUR interest list today? Only communists don't add these interests today.
-J. Fries
*Except Egypt
A Small Leaf
Dong Fiesta
Honoring Debts
Metallica Rulez!
Parking Fines
Quite a Small Leaf
Shootin' at You
Tooth-aches
I'd like to take a moment to discuss the merits of these interests. Who knows, when I'm done maybe you'll decide to add them yourself!
A Small Leaf
This one shouldn't require too much explanation. A Small Leaf has been around for thousands of years, bringing joy and laughter to babies and children all over the world (except Egypt). If you don't know about a Small Leaf, I dare say you have bigger problems than what is on your LiveJournal interests list!
Dong Fiesta
It amazes me that more people haven't caught on to Dong Fiesta. For years Dong Fiesta has consistently provided quality fiesta-ware style dong memorabilia brand product to more than 40 countries across the globe (except Egypt). Dong Fiesta is the industry leader with top-notch Dong-based merchandise at warehouse prices! That's Dong Fiesta, where quality is job #1!
Honoring Debts
This one is just a lie.
Metallica Rulez!
I'm not surprised that no one else lists this interest. After all, Metallica is new to the scene and haven't really found a mainstream audience yet. But you give those boys some time and they are sure to rock the rock world* to its very foundations! The redneck wail of James Hetfield, backed by the workmanlike guitar of Kirk Hammet, all underpinned by the power drumming of Lars Ulrich. Oh yeah, Jason Newstead Robert Trujillo.
Parking Fines
I have always loved parking fines. I remember when I was a boy I used to follow a block behind the meter maid and watch her work. It gave me a strange thrill. The excitement of watching the citation being written out, the suspense of the officer slowly lifting the windshield wiper to place the ticket on the car, the sheer double parkedness of it all, I was hooked from the start! One day I got a little too close to the meter maid and blew my cover. At first she pretended not to notice me, probably hoping I would go away, but after a few hours she finally approached me. I had no choice but to kill her. . .she would have told everyone (except Egypt)! Ever since that day I have faithfully followed the route she used to take and handed out parking citations. It is the least I can do to honor her memory in this special way. Plus I put my address on the ticket and every now and again some idiot actually pays one of these things and I get the cash!
Quite a Small Leaf
Once I discovered a Small Leaf it was only a matter of time before I got hooked on Quite a Small Leaf. What can I say, I'm a leaf-a-holic (hahaha! Just Kidding!). But seriously, you can get high as shit off of leaves. First thing you gotta do is grind a bunch of leaves into a fine paste which you then spread on a cookie sheet and bake for about 17 hours. The leaf paste should become a powder which can then be snorted, smoked, injected or eaten. Quite Small Leaves work the best but a Small Leaf will do in a pinch. If done correctly the finished product will induce altered states of consciousness and vivid hallucinations. The pueblo indians have used this recipe for years to get totally fucking wasted. Except Egypt.
Shootin' at You
You may have noticed me shootin' at you. It's the shit.
Tooth-aches
Egypt.
Now you're up to speed. Why not add these interests to YOUR interest list today? Only communists don't add these interests today.
-J. Fries
*Except Egypt