Liberia's Most Wanted
In preparation for the Liberian regime change the U.S. government has compiled a list of President Charles
Taylor's most notorious agents. I obtained a copy of this top-secret list from a leprechaun princess close
to the White House. I give you:
LIBERIA'S MOST WANTED
Commander Death is a soldier in the security force known for cutting out the eyes of his rivals. He was instrumental in the execution of former president Doe. Giggles when you shake car keys at him.
Prime Minister Bludgeon, seen here eating the entrails of a rival rebel soldier, rose to the rank of four-star general after assassinating one of Taylor's political enemies. Notorious cry-baby and tattle-tale.
A soldier with Taylor's security forces, Lucifer is notorious for crimes against the citizens of Monrovia. She butchered several shop-keepers and made necklaces of their noses. Wants to be a unicorn when she grows up.
Or a fairy.
Professor Rape is an elite member of Taylor's gaurd known to have executed dozens of former president Doe's officials. As a reward Taylor promised to take him to the zoo. Current intelligence suggests he has not yet done so.
A devout believer in voodoo, Kamala is said to have the ability to steal the souls of his enemies by eating their hearts He indulges in this practice no less than once per day. Loves popsicles.
The oldest and most infamous of the bunch, Papa Murder is revered by fellow soldiers and feared by citizens. Murder ritually skins his rivals. The skin is then made into footy pajamas.
I will keep you posted as events unfold, so stay tuned to WJJF! WJJF, your source for posts about porno and the occasional rendezvous into topical news items. . .but mostly porno.
-J. Fries
Taylor's most notorious agents. I obtained a copy of this top-secret list from a leprechaun princess close
to the White House. I give you:
LIBERIA'S MOST WANTED
Commander Death is a soldier in the security force known for cutting out the eyes of his rivals. He was instrumental in the execution of former president Doe. Giggles when you shake car keys at him.
Prime Minister Bludgeon, seen here eating the entrails of a rival rebel soldier, rose to the rank of four-star general after assassinating one of Taylor's political enemies. Notorious cry-baby and tattle-tale.
A soldier with Taylor's security forces, Lucifer is notorious for crimes against the citizens of Monrovia. She butchered several shop-keepers and made necklaces of their noses. Wants to be a unicorn when she grows up.
Or a fairy.
Professor Rape is an elite member of Taylor's gaurd known to have executed dozens of former president Doe's officials. As a reward Taylor promised to take him to the zoo. Current intelligence suggests he has not yet done so.
A devout believer in voodoo, Kamala is said to have the ability to steal the souls of his enemies by eating their hearts He indulges in this practice no less than once per day. Loves popsicles.
The oldest and most infamous of the bunch, Papa Murder is revered by fellow soldiers and feared by citizens. Murder ritually skins his rivals. The skin is then made into footy pajamas.
I will keep you posted as events unfold, so stay tuned to WJJF! WJJF, your source for posts about porno and the occasional rendezvous into topical news items. . .but mostly porno.
-J. Fries