Life just is sometimes.....
I can't fully articulate why but lately it seems I have had an overwhelming feeling of feeling "burnt out", tired and withdrawn. I know my personailty type is usually that of a "people pleaser" and often I forget to put some of my own needs first and I believe that may have alot to do with my frame of mind of late. Over the past year and-a-half, I have put my own needs on the backburner because I felt it was more important to put the needs of others before mine (i.e. support system for Rob, as well as various family members and friends, etc.). I have this feeling that maybe it has all finally bottle necked and perhaps I haven't processed through it or properly dealt with it. I usually feel like I am person who has a good handle on things but maybe I don't have as good of handle on it all as I'd like to think. I really have been trying to psycho-analyze myself and perhaps that's dangerous and should be left to professionals. I don't know. What my instincts do tell me is that I really need to verbalize my needs more to the people around me. I long for such simple things like having the house all to myself for just a few hours (something that hasn't happened in months and months), just longing to enjoy a single day of solitude. I know it hasn't happened because I have been too busy taking care of others and neglecting to take care of me. If I don't get a handle on this then I am afraid I may start to lose myself and that just cannot happen. I really just feel I am stuck in a rut and I'm trying to figure out what it is going to take to overcome this feeling.
I'll figure it out. I always do. I am an optmist.