Catch My Breath *redux*
***I'm in the process of converting some of my EXO fics into BAP ones so this fic may sound familiar if you've read the original :D***
Pairing: HimUp
Rated: M (dirty thingies; pwp)
Length: 4.8K
The first time Himchan walked in on Jongup in the shower it was a complete accident. He had spent a late night in the rehearsal studio trying to get the break beat in the second chorus of their new song down. After two hours of practicing and another twenty minutes of listening to their manager drone on about not showing up to the next gig with a water bottle full of Smirnoff (which he only drank half of, thank you very much), he finally got the all clear to head back to the band’s dorm for a lovely four hour block of time for sleeping.
So when he opened the bathroom door without knocking it really wasn’t his fault that Jongup couldn’t sleep and had gotten up to take a late night shower.
“Shit!” Himchan jumped backwards into the cabinet, head banging off the open mirror. “Fuck! Sorry!”
Jongup was quiet through the entire barrage into his private space, hands modestly covering himself and mentally cursing Daehyun for tripping into the curtain the day before and breaking it off the rod.
“I didn’t- I thought everyone was asleep.” Himchan tried to be considerate and not look at the smaller boy’s soaking wet body and wide eyes even when his brain was screaming at him to take at least one peek. For prosperity’s sake.
“It’s okay, Himchannie.” Jongup broke him out of his embarrassment and he risked a glance towards the shower only to see the soft smile and gentle eyes of their lead bassist. “I can’t sleep unless we’re all here so I was just passing the time till you got home.” He motioned towards the door and bit his lip awkwardly. “So if you could just…?”
Himchan nodded and turned to leave, forehead smashing into the doorframe on his way out and rushing towards his bunk with the sounds of Jongup’s amused laughter behind him.
The second time he discovered Jongup in the shower wasn’t quite as much by accident. In his defense he had been drinking a lot after their gig. Daehyun seemed to think it was hilarious to get Himchan drunk and watch him turn into a giant cuddle bear full of inappropriate touches and a plethora of wet sticky kisses.
After Yongguk had angrily pried him off of Junhong for the third time and threatened to break every bone in his hand if he touched him again, Himchan had gotten the hint and headed off into the deep corners of the bar their gig was at. Their manager had promised them two hours of fun and drinking before they headed back to the dorm and Himchan was going to enjoy every second of the forty-five minutes he had left.
He vaguely remembered dancing with some fangirls that had stuck around after the show and almost kind of remembered them slipping a handful of numbers into his pocket. But he was sober enough to know that the way Jongup found him just to say he needed a shower and would see him later was a sign from god. He wasn’t stupid. Pretty fucking wasted, but not stupid.
This time when he stumbled into the bathroom at two in the morning and came face to face with a very unamused Jongup he really didn’t expect the punch that landed him on his ass out in the hallway.
“It’s called knocking, Kim Himchan.” Jongup rolled his eyes but grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables out of the freezer for him anyways. “I would have locked the door but I thought you’d all be busy for a while with the abundant amount of breasts back there.”
Himchan sat against the wall, bag of peas pressed against his split lip, and grinned angelically up at him. “I missed you.” He smacked his lips together, wincing at the sting and taste of blood. “Channie likes kisses.”
Jongup shut the door for a second to pull a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on before coming back out to help Himchan to his feet. “I know Channie likes kisses. The whole band knows Channie likes kisses. I’m pretty sure that’s the motto your fans adopted for you. The entire world is aware.” He helped him into his own bed since Himchan’s was on the top bunk and there was no way they were going to be able to get him up the stairs.
“Sometimes I think you don’t even like me.” Himchan rolled over into the blankets and pulled Jongup’s pillow closer to his face so he could blearily inhale the slight smell of his honey shampoo still imprinted on it. “Everyone else gives me kisses.”
Warm fingers smoothed through his hair making him hum contentedly as his brain quickly started to shut down for the night.
“Maybe that’s the problem.” Jongup murmured, pulling the blanket off of Daehyun’s bed (because he deserved it for shoving the liquor down everyone’s throats). “Maybe you should try to be a little more particular about who you hand kisses out to and I might take one.”
Himchan would have happily locked that away in his memory for safe-keeping if he wasn’t already sound asleep, dots of drool appearing instantly on Jongup’s pillow.
---
“Who did that?” Their manager stormed over to Himchan the next morning at breakfast and gripped his chin tightly, turning his face side to side to get a better look at the still slightly swollen lip. “Shit, Himchan. Can’t you go one night without getting into trouble?”
He batted Yongguk’s hands away with irritation. The shrill yelling in his ear was amplified by a hundred and if Daehyun looked at him and laughed one more time…
“Ran into the door.” He mumbled, grimacing as his coffee hit his sore mouth. “Not like my mouth is important to the band anyways.”
Daehyun’s laughter was so loud that even Yongguk growled in annoyance. “Of course your pretty little mouth is important to the band. Right Jongup?” The smile looked innocent but they all knew that what hid behind that beautiful face was far from sweet.
Jongup reddened and shoved a half a piece of toast into his mouth, shrugging in response.
If Daehyun could look any more satisfied he’d have whiskers and a saucer of milk. “I mean it was only last week that Jongup was informing us all that your entire face was so proportional and adorable that it could s- Ow!” He broke off with a yelp, his chair scooting back so he could inspect his knee.
“Oops.” Jongup turned to meet Himchan’s eyes and might have winked.
But he also might have had something in his lashes.
---
“You look stressed.”
It had been three weeks since Himchan had been punched by Jongup and also three weeks since they’d been alone and talked. Himchan was starting to think the other boy was purposely avoiding him and had tried to stay out of his way because a pissy Jongup was liable to chew you up and spit out your entrails.
Youngjae changed his B string as Himchan moped next to him on the couch. “We’re all a little worried about you to be honest. You’re either dragging yourself around the dorm or you’re making moony eyes at Jongup when he’s not looking. Something happen between you two?”
He shrugged, pretending to watch the documentary on the TV but was really eying Jongup and Daehyun as they attempted to cook supper together. Every few minutes one of the two would burst into laughter and every time they bumped into each other Himchan died a little inside. “We’re band mates. It doesn’t mean we all have to get along 24/7. He tolerates me.”
“You’re really dumb.” Youngjae’s voice rarely changed levels except when singing, but it was bordering on incredulous.
“I know.”
---
Jongup knew Himchan had a large female fan base, that was obvious to anyone with eyes. But after every show when the girls would flock to him with offers of free drinks and dances (and other things that Jongup wondered what their mothers would think if they heard), Himchan would eat up the attention with a spoon. His smile would grow even wider and his already messy black hair would knot up as he ran his fingers nervously through it. He’d nod and bow and sometimes even deign to throw an arm around a barely clad waist for a picture. Of course he always came home afterwards by himself (Yongguk would kill him if he started rumors and it came back badly to the band), but Jongup still wondered if that was the only reason he did it. What if he really wanted to go home with one of the fans?
“Just tell him you want to suck his dick and stop pulling his pigtails like a five year old.”
“I don’t want to suck his dick.” He pushed Daehyun out of the way and stormed out of the bar towards the dressing room behind the stage. “And besides, he likes girls.”
Daehyun, never one to back down from a good ribbing, caught up to him easily. “You want him to suck yours then? I’m sure he’d drop straight to his knees. All you gotta do is ask. Pretty sure he swings both ways.”
“Don’t you have a groupie’s boobs to accidentally fall into?” He tried to push the older boy out of the way but Daehyun knew an easy target when he saw one and fought back. “Stop it, Dae. I’m tired!”
“Too tired to suck dick?”
“Daehyun I swear to god.”
“Bet you’d suck it if someone asked you nicely.” Daehyun dug his fingers into Jongup’s sensitive sides and got the expected giggle. “Batted a pair of big brown puppy eyes at you and-“
A cough broke them apart. Himchan gripped the rim to his beer bottle tightly, eyes glued to the floor. “Sorry. I was just coming to get my bag so I could head out.” His eyes were guarded when he lifted them to take another look at Daehyun’s arms around Jongup’s waist. “Just make sure and grab it when you guys get done okay? I’ll… I’m just gonna go.” He left before Daehyun or Jongup could inform him that what he had seen wasn’t what he thought it was.
“That boy’s going to go home and have an angry jerk off.”
Jongup huffed and managed to get out of Daehyun’s hold to get into the dressing room. “Don’t talk about him like that. He’s just tired and under a lot of pressure from Yongguk lately to be good.”
With a snort Daehyun just nodded and let him think what he wanted. Watching the two dance around each other gave him more enjoyment than most things lately. Himchan throwing all of his sexual frustration out on the fans and Jongup keeping it all to himself was bound to cause fireworks when they finally confessed. He would happily watch them suffer for a few more weeks before growing exasperated and forcing their hands.
---
Jongup blinked heavy eyes up as Yongguk force-fed him another spoonful of soup. They’d managed eight scoops earlier before Jongup had pushed him out of the way to go throw up in the toilet.
“Your temperature is a degree higher than it was a few hours ago. I had thought you were starting to pull through it.” The anal and abrasive Yongguk they all knew as their manager was replaced with a caring side they only saw when hurt or very sick. “Why don’t you lay down and rest and we can do the interview without you.”
“But the band-“
Yongguk waved his concerns off, pushing the weak boy back into the couch. “The band understands, Jongup. They care more about you getting better than forcing you out into the snow while you have the flu.” He fluffed a new blanket up over him and patted his sweat-slicked hair. “I’ll send someone back to check on you before dinner, okay?”
He left before Jongup could build up the energy to call him back. Knowing the band wasn’t going to be whole in an interview for the first time in their career brought tears to his eyes. Even when Youngjae broke his ankle and had to perform on a chair for two months he still managed to drag himself to interviews.
The band was his whole life and it felt almost like they were cheating on him by doing promotional work without him.
Being sick fucking sucked, Jongup thought to himself as he drifted off into an unwanted sleep.
Rough fingers traced across his brow and down his cheek before flittering across chapped lips that Jongup normally kept slathered at all times with heavy duty chapstick.
“Jongup?” The voice was fuzzy around the edges but he knew that low timbre better than anyone’s. “I brought you some more soup. Guk said to make sure you ate something.”
He groaned in pain and reached out blindly until Himchan, because of course it was Himchan, enveloped them with his warm hands. “Don’t wanna.”
Himchan chuckled as he blew hot air over Jongup’s cold and clammy fingers. “You need to eat to keep your strength up. I brought you some medicine, too.”
“Where’s everyone else?” Jongup rolled onto his side so that he could pull Himchan down next to him on the couch. If he was going to be miserable and alone in the dorm he might as well make the most of it and cop a few misplaced feels while he was at it. “Too quiet.”
“They’re at dinner.” This time Himchan’s voice was unsure, his arm very slowly encircling Jongup’s neck and pulling him into his chest. “God Jongup, you’re burning up. You don’t need me pressed against you.” He reached down anyways and grabbed the blanket Jongup had kicked off in his sleep, tucking it around his bare legs, clad only in a pair of faded gray boxers.
He shook his head, burying his face in Himchan’s neck. It smelled like aftershave and sweat and it was the only thing Jongup had smelled in the last eight hours that didn’t make him want to vomit up the entire contents of his stomach. “Don’t go.”
Himchan finally relented and relaxed in Jongup’s tight hold. “I’m not going anywhere. I told them I was going to stay and take care of you.”
Later, Himchan’s words would float up in his mind and he would wonder if he meant them the way Jongup wanted them to be meant, but right now all he could think about was the electric feeling in his belly to keep traveling through his veins. The feeling of Himchan’s rough denim against his bare legs made him want to move them just to feel it sliding across his skin again and again. And he could swear he could feel his heart beating against his chest even though Himchan had on a shirt and a sweatshirt.
“What are you doing?” Himchan’s fingers were suddenly in his hair and stroking him so gently and so lovingly that Jongup couldn’t help the mewl of contentment in his throat. “Jongup…” Even though it was supposed to be a warning, the gravely way his name was whispered sent another spike of heat through him.
“Feels good.” Jongup muttered. His eyes felt heavy again and he hated having to close them but the pounding feeling in his head was starting to come back and he didn’t know if he had already passed out and this was one vivid wet dream but if it was then he wanted to take full advantage of it. “Please, please.”
He whimpered when the chills came back and the goosebumps appeared on his arms but nothing took his focus away from the sweet throb under his boxers as he ground shamelessly against Himchan’s thigh.
“Fuck.” Himchan dropped his head so that his lips were in Jongup’s long hair, mouthing curses as Jongup repositioned so that they were aligned perfectly together. “What are you doing, Jongup?”
“You make it better.” He was near panting, his body tightening like a spring. “Make it better.”
Himchan pushed him back to the couch with a heavy palm, ignoring Jongup’s complaints. “I can’t think straight when you do that, just fucking sit still for a minute and let me think.”
Unfortunately he wasn’t aware that Jongup still was under the impression this was a dream induced haze. The smaller boy needed friction and if his imaginary Himchan wouldn’t give it to him then he’d just have to do it himself. His arm darted down the front of his boxers and wrapped tightly around himself, body arching off the couch as he finally had skin against skin.
It took a few long seconds of watching him with wide eyes before Himchan came back down to earth with a growl, jerking the barely there boxers away and shoving Jongup’s hand off to replace it with his own.
Jongup keened at the touch of a hand that wasn’t near as smooth as his own. It had been a long time since someone else had touched him, dream or no dream this was the most action he’d had in months, so he wasn’t as embarrassed by the high-pitched sounds he made as he normally would have been.
“I want to suck you off.” Himchan was blunt, his confidence rising with every cry and shudder Jongup made under his touch. “Do you want that, Jongup?”
The fever in his head was at its point now and Jongup was so close to blacking out that he could see pinpricks of stars under his eyelids.
“Please. ”
---
He woke up with a gasp, body falling off the couch and into the floor with a loud thump.
“Damn Jongup. You got some smooth moves.”
Ignoring Daehyun’s smart mouth was instinctual to most of them at this point so he didn’t bother answering, instead crawling back up the couch and burrowing into his cover. “What time is it?”
“Eight in the morning. You slept all night.”
He could still feel fingertips pressing into his skin, but when he pulled his shirt up under the blankets he was disappointed to not see the bruising he just knew would be there.
“Did I talk in my sleep?” He popped his head out and eyed Daehyun suspiciously. “Did I do anything weird?”
Daehyun shrugged, his attention on his breakfast cereal and not the crazy boy on the couch. “I don’t know. You were conked out when we all got back and Himchan said he couldn’t get you up to eat so I guess you were dead to the world the whole time.”
Well at least he knew some of what happened last night wasn’t a dream. Himchan really did come back and try to get him to wake up to eat. But the rest? What about the rest?
Jongup scrambled to the end of the couch when Himchan and Yongguk entered the dorm, bags of laundry in their hands. They halted their laughter when they saw him finally awake.
“There’s our patient!” Yongguk dropped his bag to the table and grabbed the itinerary he had left earlier. “I see you’re up and bright-eyed this morning. I hope that means you’re up for the gig tonight. We have to leave in a couple hours to get there on time so go ahead and shower and eat.”
“Are you feeling better?” Himchan sat down easily next to him and rested his palm against Jongup’s head. “You still feel a little warm but not as bad as last night.”
Jongup shook his head. Memories of last night were blurry and stuttered across his mind. He didn’t know if what he remembered was his imagination or reality. “I’m better.”
“Good.” Himchan’s grin was wide and genuine and held no sign that last night had actually happened so Jongup breathed a sigh of relief, melting into the couch as the other walked away.
It was just a dream, he assured himself. A weird dream, but a dream.
---
Things had been a little smoother between them ever since Himchan had skipped dinner just to care for him. Jongup tried hard to make things normal but Himchan made it hard as hell for him as he absentmindedly spun his drumsticks around as he watched TV, making Jongup’s scalp tingle. He remembered the way the short nails scratched against his skin and made his entire body spark and the illness spread to the furthest corners of his mind.
“Did you just purr?” Daehyun raised an eyebrow. “Seriously Jongup. They make websites for that kind of stuff.”
He blushed, his eyes automatically seeking out Himchan’s across the room. Himchan’s gaze was heavy and hot on him, making little pinpricks of sweat pop up across his back. Memories (dreams?) of what the weight of that stare did to him slammed into his brain.
*
The heat around him was too much. Too warm, too wet, too much.
“H-Hurts.” He stuttered, his body trying to jerk forward but too weak to do much more than shiver.
The suction disappeared for a second and he whined pitifully to have it back.
“If you’re hurting then I can stop. You’re sick, Jongup.” A deep voice was muffled against his thigh and it sounded like it might have been Himchan (wasn’t he who this dream was about again?), and that made Jongup’s cock pulse painfully in the calloused hand it was enclosed in.
“More.” He begged. His eyes managed to crack open and he dropped his head to the side just in time to see Himchan’s eyes darken and a smile creep across his lips.
“You want more of this?” A slick stripe was licked up the bottom of his length and all the way to the tip where Himchan’s lips pressed excruciatingly light kisses until Jongup answered.
*
He hurriedly averted his eyes before Himchan could see the growing want in them. The hallucinations his sickness had made were starting to drive him crazy and make his need for the band’s drummer grow to embarrassingly large proportions.
“I’m going to bed.” Himchan suddenly jerked to his feet, a pained expression on his face. He pulled awkwardly on the front of his hoodie, cheeks darkening with every tug. “G-Goodnight.”
Daehyun watched him stumble off, an amused quirk of his lips making Jongup suspicious. “I’m in the mood for ice cream.”
The rest of the members quickly agreed after throwing unreadable glances at Jongup. When he stood to join them Daehyun shook his head and turned him towards the bedroom. “I think it’s your turn to take care of Himchan for once.” He slapped him on the ass before heading out of the dorm. “Go get ‘em tiger.”
They left before Jongup could ask what was going on but he was already walking towards the bedroom door, mind focused on one thing.
The door was unlocked so he let himself in, ears suddenly assaulted with the musical sounds of Himchan’s heavy sighs and deep moans.
Jongup pressed himself against the door in shock, eyes glued to the way Himchan’s sweatpants rolled in waves with every jerk of his wrist, bare chest heaving as he threw his head back. The muscles in his neck tightened and flexed under the thin layer of sweat he had already worked up in just the few minutes he’d been alone.
He knew he should say something, leave the room, close his eyes, anything to give Himchan the privacy he deserved.
But the second those lips parted and a familiar, strangled “Jongup” came out, he finally knew.
“It wasn’t a dream, was it?”
Himchan cracked open an eyelid, hand refusing to slow, and shot him a sly smirk. “You’re a lot more handsy than I ever thought you’d be.”
Groaning, Jongup dropped to the bed and caged him in with his knees. “That was two weeks ago. You’ve kept it a secret for two weeks?”
He was flipped over onto his back with Himchan’s grinning face above him and a warm hand kneading across his thigh. “I just wanted to see if you’d man up and ask me about it. You took too long. I was getting impatient.”
Jongup opened his mouth to answer but couldn’t speak through the dry lips and invading tongue that was suddenly inside of him. He bit angrily at him, wanting to show his annoyance, but when Himchan dropped the last few inches to rest firmly on top of him he gave up. Having the heavy weight gliding across him made his head empty and his eyes roll back in pleasure.
“Wanna fuck you.” Himchan murmured against his lips. “Not tonight though. Won’t last.” He sat back on his ankles in order to tug at Jongup’s jogging shorts. “This okay?”
All he could do was nod because the only thing that mattered at the moment was getting Himchan back on top of him. Once the taller boy had removed him of his shorts and boxers, he reached frantically for him, dropping his hands quickly when Himchan snapped at him to stop.
“Would never have guessed you’d be a submissive type.” He grinned as Jongup opened for the fingers tapping playfully on his lips and sucked them inside, swirling his tongue around them and biting down on the hard knuckles. “Good boy.” Himchan breathed, watching Jongup’s mouth fill up. “Spread your legs.”
Jongup widened them instantly. His eyes were watering as Himchan fucked his fingers roughly between his lips, nails scratching painfully across his throat.
The wet sound they made when Himchan finally removed them was the only noise in the room apart from their breathing growing more labored the second Himchan’s hands spread him apart and stroked down his sensitive skin.
He clenched his eyes shut as his body instinctually tried to force the intrusion out, but Himchan held him still with an arm around his waist and slid inside. After a few moments of burning and uncomfortableness, Jongup finally started to relax and work with him, bringing his hips down with every push.
“Pretty.” Himchan used his free hand to force Jongup’s shirt up his chest and attached his teeth to the space between his ribs, sliding his tongue down the narrow valley and back again before moving up to the next one.
Another demanding intruder was added and this time Jongup took it with a low moan. “Faster.” He ordered as he pulled sharply on Himchan’s sweaty hair.
“There’s the Jongup I know.” Himchan teased, lifting his head with a smile. “Faster?” He purposely slowed his movements down until his wrist was frozen and just his fingers moved, scissoring lightly inside of Jongup.
“Fucking fuck, Himchan, please!”
The third and last finger slammed inside of him so hard that Jongup screamed, scratching hysterically across Himchan’s neck until a palm was slapped over his mouth to quiet him down.
The muffled cries turned Himchan on almost as much as the incredible feeling of being inside Jongup after jerking off to the thought of it ever since the band had formed. He moved faster now, the saliva on his fingers long since dried, and he knew it had to hurt like hell but Jongup didn’t seem to care anymore if the way he was fucking down on him was any indication.
“Tomorrow’s an off day.” He nosed at the pounding pulse in Jongup’s neck. “Everyone’s going home. We’re going to stay here.” He waited until Jongup nodded. “I’ve been dreaming of being inside you for close to two years and this isn’t enough for me.” Jongup whined against his palm as Himchan started sliding his knee against him, the hard pressure exactly what he need to soothe his own ache between his legs. Himchan wasn’t a virgin by any stretch of the imagination and he could tell exactly where Jongup was twisting his hips and trying to get his touch to land so he pulled back a little, barely skimming him where he needed it. “If you touch yourself between now and tomorrow I’m going to be very upset with you.”
The frustrated yell Jongup made when he removed himself from the bed was almost funny, but Himchan was too hard to laugh about it. Later though. When he had Jongup completely sated and limp-boned, eyes drooping sleepily as lied next to him. Right now he had about twenty seconds to get into the bathroom before he got off inside of his own sweatpants like a thirteen year old.
Jongup wanted to slap the cocky glint out of Himchan’s eyes, wanted to pull his hair so hard that he cried. “You bastard.”
Himchan stopped at the door, throwing him a smile over his shoulder. “I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”
“I’m going to punch you again.”
“Looking forward to it.”