Face Off *part 2/2*
Pairing: HimUp (BFF JongLo, implied ZiBang)
Rated: M (one very small M scene at the end)
Length: 15.6K (part two 7.5K)
Part One
“You need a helmet, too.” Junhong steered him towards the opposite wall where helmets from multiple sports lined the shelves. “The school supplies our uniforms and padding, but helmets are a personal choice so we buy our own.” He pointed towards a cheaper one lower to the ground. “This is the same one Yongguk wears and if he likes it then it has to be good.”
“But you don’t wear it?”
Junhong puffed his chest out proudly. “I wear a goalie helmet. They’re special.” He grabbed one off the shelf and held it out towards Jongup. “It has a mask on it which a lot of people don’t wear. Daehyun says they bother him so he doesn’t wear it. But he’s probably also going to graduate with at least one tooth missing because of it so I recommend a mask.”
Jongup juggled the armful of other items he had in his arms and grabbed the box. “Is this all? I had to get an advance on my allowance and promise to sell one of my signed baseballs before my mom gave me her credit card.”
“Yep.” Junhong eyed the stick Jongup had under his arm. “I can’t believe you picked the same stick as Himchan. You do realize he’s our worst player.”
“I didn’t know Himchan used it when I picked it.” Jongup snapped. “I just like the way it felt in my hands.”
With a laugh Junhong took the oversized box of skates out of his hands. “Just don’t cry to me if you end up being as bad as him.”
They paid for the items, Jongup wincing at the total, and left the store with four bags of everything Junhong said he would need to be a real hockey player. After returning Jongup’s mother’s credit card (because Jongup didn’t want Junhong to suddenly remember something else they needed), the two went straight towards the rink to practice for the hour left before supper (“Our mom is really big on eating meals together when she’s home.” Junhong explained apologetically.).
“Your skates might be a little stiff until you break them in more. That’s why I had you get the first aid kit. Get used to blisters and tight muscles.” Junhong pulled a bottle of heat rub out of his bag and waved it towards Jongup. “These will be your best friend. It relaxes your muscles.”
Jongup felt his head swimming with all of the random tidbits of information Junhong kept giving him. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to remember them all. Ways to exercise to build up the muscles needed to skate easier all the way to the best foods to eat on game days.
“Most important rule though?” Junhong elbowed Jongup playfully. “Have fun.”
“That’s what my grandpa says. You’re supposed to be hip and cool.”
“Jongup, I don’t think hip and cool kids actually say hip and cool.” Junhong chastised, growing frustrated with how long it was taking him to lace his skates. “Let me do it. You’re still too slow.”
Practice was a lot easier with only Junhong’s instructions to concentrate on. He was able to learn the game slowly and let all the rules sink in before Junhong moved on to another one. Once their one-on-one practice was over Jongup felt confident that he would be able to hold his own in their next team practice.
“Ready for supper?” Junhong grabbed their bags and carried them because he could tell Jongup was exhausted and wouldn’t be able to hold the heavy equipment. “My mom’s ordering pizza.”
He felt like his brain was even too tired to think so he gladly let Junhong lead the conversation as they walked towards his house. This was the first time he had ever been invited over to a friend’s home and he wished he was more alert to remember the location in case he was asked back. But all he could think about was a hot shower and the promise of a full belly to care about anything else.
“You look like you’ve been worked hard.” Yongguk laughed as Jongup stumbled in after Junhong, his head crashing against the taller boy’s back.
“I want to sleep for days.” He mumbled, closing his eyes and wondering if it was possible to sleep standing up. “Your brother is trying to kill me.”
Yongguk pulled Jongup away from his younger brother and winced at the bruises already forming on his arms. “Padding only goes so far, Jongup. You have to learn how to turn into the hits.” He half walked, half carried Jongup to the couch and helped him to sit down comfortably. “I’ll go get some ice while Junhong cleans up.”
Jongup felt fingers gently touching the painful bruises on his arm and whimpered, but his eyes were still too heavy to open until a concerned voice asked him if he was okay.
“Himchan?” He felt his face turn hot at how close together they were sitting. Yongguk had practically placed him in Himchan’s lap on the couch. “What are you doing here? I mean, I’m fine, I’m not, I didn’t mean to, hi.”
Let the earth open up and swallow him down and grind him into teeny tiny pieces.
“Hi.” Himchan’s lips twitched as he tried not to smile. He took the ice from Yongguk and motioned Jongup to move towards him again. “C’mere.”
He still felt like the world’s biggest idiot but did as the older boy ordered. “You don’t have to do that.”
Himchan shook his head, placing the bag on one of Jongup’s shoulders. “You have to move the ice around so your skin doesn’t get too numb. I’ve done this enough I know what to do.” After a few moments he moved the bag to the other shoulder. “Still happy you joined the hockey team?”
His eyes were trained on his lap because he wasn’t sure he could handle looking up into Himchan’s eyes when they were so close. “Do you not want me there?”
The laugh in Himchan’s chest rumbled dangerously close to his bare arm. “No, no I want you there.” He lifted Jongup’s arm and placed the ice above his elbow where he’d had a nasty shove from Junhong. “Trust me.”
“My mom just ordered supper!” Junhong skidded into the room, his hair dripping from a hasty shower. “I can show you where the bathroom is.” He narrowed his eyes at the fingers that were stroking down his friend’s arm. “Yongguk’s in the kitchen, Himchan.”
Himchan gave Jongup a quick squeeze of the wrist before he headed towards the other room, leaving Junhong and Jongup alone.
The silence between them was awkward and Jongup wondered what was running through the other boy’s head. Was he angry that Jongup and Himchan were sitting so close? Did he have a secret crush on his brother’s best friend and thought Jongup was getting in the way? Did Junhong have a crush on him?
No, that one was easy enough to dismiss. They had changed side by side in the locker room and Junhong hadn’t so much as glanced at him, instead chattering about their practice.
“There’s a towel in there and your bag’s in my bedroom.” Junhong’s smile was strained when he pointed to the bathroom door. “We’ll be downstairs.”
The hot water soothed his sore body and he felt a hundred pounds lighter after washing the sweat off his body. When he bounced down the steps in his pajama pants and t-shirt he didn’t even have to fake the smile on his lips. Hockey was hard. Hockey was an adjustment. But as he looked around the table at the three boys joking with each other and having a great time he was sure that this was the best decision he had made in a long time.
“You hungry?” Yongguk noticed him in the doorway and gave him a grin. “The food just got here.”
The only extra seat was between Himchan and Junhong. He quietly scooted closer to the table and took a plate from Yongguk.
“Do you like pepperoni?” Himchan held the first piece out to him, happily setting it onto his plate when Jongup nodded. “Yongguk and I rented a couple of movies if you two want to watch them with us later.”
Junhong rolled his eyes as he chewed angrily on his pizza. “Jongup and I were going to play Final Fantasy.”
“Oh.” Jongup wondered if maybe Himchan looked just a little bit disappointed but it passed as soon as a bright grin crossed his lips again. “Maybe some other time then.”
---
Jongup stared up at the bottom of Junhong’s bunk and told himself that saying this was one of the funnest nights he’d ever had was probably a little creepy. It was one in the morning and he had spent the last four hours playing video games with Junhong and then another hour searching through Junhong’s iPod to see if they had any musical tastes in common.
They could hear Himchan and Yongguk laughing at whatever movie they were watching downstairs and for a few seconds he wanted to ask Junhong if they could join them. Tiny little, insignificant, not even worth thinking about crush on Himchan aside, he enjoyed funny movies.
“Jongup?” Junhong hung his head over the side of the bunk and peered down at Jongup in the dim room. “Can I ask you a question?”
He nodded sleepily. “Sure.”
Junhong chewed on his lower lip before he spoke again. “Do you like Himchan?”
He felt a stab in his gut at the accusatory tone in Junhong’s voice and he thought to himself, this is it everything’s over back to being alone with no friends.
“Of course I like Himchan.” He tried to pass it off as no big deal. Like Junhong was just being silly. “He’s a nice guy. He and Yongguk are really nice.”
Junhong narrowed his eyes down at him. “You know what I mean.”
He looked up at his friend and forced his lips to reply because the look on Junhong’s face promised that he wasn’t going to let it go. “Yes.” He could have lied, he probably should have lied, but Jongup didn’t want to. Junhong was the only good friend he had ever made and he would never be able to look at him again if he was keeping secrets. “I think so.”
“I can tell.” Junhong traced the rung of the ladder as he sighed. “Pretty sure the world can tell. You need to learn how to stop undressing him with your eyes every time you look at him.”
He rolled over and groaned into the pillow. There was still a small possibility that hole could open up under him. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to people with eyes.” Junhong offered helpfully. “But if it makes you feel any better it’s not near as embarrassing as the goopy way he looks at you.”
“What?” That had him sitting up and clenching the sheets under him in anxiety. “What do you mean? I thought you were mad at me? Aren’t you angry that I like him?”
Junhong scrunched his face up in confusion. “Why would I be mad at you? You mean because you’re gay?” He shrugged. “Just don’t look at me naked or anything. And if you do at least make it look like you’re appreciating it.”
Maybe a meteor would strike him down, Jongup thought reassuringly. That happens all the time in movies.
“I don’t know what I am.” Jongup moaned miserably into his hands. “I’ve liked girls before, too. And what about your crush on Himchan?”
A gagging sound came from over top him. “No, no, no. I have never had a thing for him. He’s been Yongguk’s best friend practically my whole life.”
“Then why have you been acting so weird around me?” He peeked through the crack in his fingers. “You made me think you were upset I was getting in your way.”
Junhong snorted and threw his pillow down at Jongup’s face. “I was upset that he was getting in my way you idiot. You’re my friend and I don’t want you to join our team or hang out with me just because you want to see Himchan.”
Well that kind of hurt his feelings…
“I’m not doing that. I had never even seen Himchan till after I met you. And I joined the team because I like all of you. It was nice to see a team that was so close and I wanted that, too.”
Junhong seemed satisfied with that answer because he nodded and scooted back into his bed. “Just try to stop making the ooey gooey puppy eyes at him because it’s really gross.”
“So you don’t care that I like boys?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty gross, too. But I’ve always had my suspicions about Himchan and it’s only a matter of time before the Block Beasts captain gets into Yongguk’s pants.”
They were quiet for so long that Jongup thought Junhong had fallen asleep and was just starting to drift off as well when Junhong murmured sadly above him.
“I am a little disappointed you think Himchan’s hotter than me. That’s just rude.”
“Junhong I will get myself off all over your toothbrush if you don’t go to sleep.”
At least he expected the other pillow to his head that time.
---
“What are you guys doing in here? Don’t you have to take notes for Himchan’s Science class?” Junhong smiled happily at the two boys but Jongup felt like his throat was closing up on him. Instead of sitting across the table by Yongguk like he thought he would, Himchan made himself at home right beside Jongup. He continued hoping that every time they were in the same room together that it would be easier to breathe but Himchan kept making him hyperaware of every move he made even after two weeks on the team together.
“My teacher’s sick today so we snuck out.” Himchan rested his good arm across the back of Jongup’s chair and leaned back in his seat. “Yongguk thought you two might be lonely in here and need some company.”
Yongguk kicked his chair under the table making Himchan fall back to the floor with an oomph. “Please. You’re the one who nagged me to come up here. I wanted to scope out the Home Ec room and see what they were cooking this hour.”
Fingers skimmed at the bottom of Jongup’s sleeves and he could feel goose bumps crawling along his skin. Himchan didn’t seem to notice his response as he laughed at something with Yongguk. Perhaps he was doing it absentmindedly, Jongup assured himself. As soon as he realized he would stop.
The minutes seemed to tick by like hours with Himchan not even seeming to care that Jongup was sitting next to him and Junhong joining them easily in their inside jokes and school gossip.
A few minutes before the bell the two brothers started arguing together over whose turn it was to do the supper dishes while Jongup was lost in his own world and performing the multiplication tables over and over in his mind.
“So serious.”
He squeaked and jumped away from the hot breath in his ear. Himchan was so close that Jongup was almost positive that he had felt his lips on his skin.
“What?”
Himchan’s arm across the back of his seat slid lower until his palm was flat over Jongup’s shoulder. “Why don’t I ever get to see you smile? You’re always so serious.”
“I smile all the time.” His hand was heavy and hot Jongup was too scared to move away because he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel comfortable.
“I know you do.” His thumb stroked under Jongup’s sleeve against his bare skin and Jongup lost his train of thought. “But never at me.”
Jongup didn’t think a person’s eyes could be any deeper or darker than Himchan’s were as they gazed straight into his.
“I’m shy.” The words felt so stupid in his own ears but they were all he could think to say. “I don’t make many friends.”
“Well…” The thumb moved again, that damn thumb. “What do you like to do then? Let’s all do something that makes you comfortable.”
He wondered if Himchan could feel the tremors in his body from how close he was. He also wondered if Himchan was doing this to him on purpose just for his own amusement. Surely the older boy wasn’t that cruel.
“Jongup likes baseball.” Junhong spoke up across the table, a smirk on his lips. “He was going to join the team.” His eyes slid over to Jongup and twinkled in amusement. “But he decided to join our hockey team instead. Funny, huh?”
The bell rang before anyone could ask what he meant. Himchan gave Jongup one last stroke on his shoulder as Yongguk gathered their notebooks up. “This weekend let’s take a break from hockey and go play baseball then.”
Jongup’s eyes brightened happily because he really missed his favorite sport and wanted to share it with his new friends. “Really? You guys want to play?”
Yongguk shrugged. “Sure, why not? It’ll be fun to see Daehyun get mad and cuss everyone out in a different setting for once.”
---
“You’re fucking insane.” Daehyun looked at the glove Jongup held out to him in disgust. “I don’t know what to do with that.”
“It’s a glove.” He smiled determinedly and forced Daehyun to take it. “I have enough for all of you. My grandma buys me a new one for my birthday every year so they’re all brand new. You can keep it if you want it.”
Daehyun glared at him like this was a setup. He begrudgingly slid the glove on and followed the others onto the field where Junhong and Youngjae were arguing over who got Jongup on their team.
“He’s my best friend!”
“But you’ve played before and none of us have!” Youngjae grabbed Jongup by the arm and pulled him to his and Yongguk’s side. “You two should be on separate teams and I called dibs on him first.”
Junhong looked like he was five seconds away from jumping on Youngjae and chewing his head off.
“It’s okay, Junhonggie. I’ll try to play fairly, I promise.” He led his team onto the field and placed Youngjae as the pitcher and Yongguk in the field. “I’ll play as catcher so I won’t even be in the field. Is that fair?”
“Fine.” Junhong banged his bat on the dirt childishly before stepping into the batting stance he still remembered from his numerous times at playing in PE. “But once Himchan gets better we’re doing this again. You and me against them all.”
Himchan laughed from behind the fence where he had named himself manager and had started calling out all of the different baseball lines that he knew. “Hey batter batter hey batter batter!”
“Himchan I swear I will pull you through that fence by your hair.” Junhong growled after the second round of Take Me Out to the Ballgame. “We just started two minutes ago and I already want to kill you.”
Jongup pulled Junhong’s borrowed hockey mask over his face and kneeled down to line up with Youngjae’s pitches. He heard a strangled groan from behind him and turned to see if Himchan was okay.
“I had something in my throat.”
“Jongup’s dick maybe.” Junhong muttered, swinging at the wild pitch Youngjae had made. “That was way too high!”
Youngjae shrugged and stumbled after the ball Jongup threw back to him.
“Oh come on!” The next ball bounced before it even made it to them.
Laughing, Jongup jumped back to his feet and cracked his back. He wasn’t used to catching and his knees were hurting. “Do you want to trade? All you have to do is catch the ball and throw it back?”
They switched positions but Jongup didn’t think this through because now he had a straight line view of Himchan, arm above his head and fingers curled into the fence. His eyes were squinted in the bright sun but they were obviously trained directly on him.
He swallowed and wound up a pitch, making sure not to throw it half as hard as he normally would have. Junhong swung and connected easily but he barely hit it hard enough to reach the pitcher’s mound. By the time he made it to first base Yongguk was already waiting with the ball in his glove and a grin on his face. “You’re out baby brother.”
Up next was Daehyun and they could already see the determination on his face as he awkwardly held the bat out to his side. Jongup had a half second of thought that maybe he should go easy on him but then he remembered all the snide comments Daehyun had said to him over the past few weeks. Sure he did it with everyone, that was just Daehyun they all told him, but it still annoyed him.
He wound up and threw him a curve ball which Daehyun of course missed by a mile.
“Hey! You gave Junhong an easy pitch!”
Jongup smiled innocently and waited for Youngjae to lunge towards the ball and throw it back.
The second was a straight line pitch that he didn’t even have time to swing at.
“Strike two!” Himchan yelled from behind the fence.
Daehyun glared at Jongup and his body tensed as Jongup decided to take it easy on him and threw a soft pitch that Daehyun barely caught the tip of. The ball sailed through the air and right into Jongup’s outstretched glove.
“You’re out!” Himchan called out helpfully.
“It’s not like it was fair anyways.” Daehyun grumbled, throwing the bat over his shoulder and ignoring the oomph of pain as it hit Himchan’s fingers through the fence. “It should have been all of us against him to begin with.”
Youngjae informed them that he and Yongguk was going first so that Jongup could go last and hit them home.
“We’re not keeping score!” Daehyun screamed from first base. “There are only two of us!”
“I’ll catch while you two bat.” Jongup grimaced as he got back into the catching position. Youngjae and Yongguk were both on base when it was Jongup’s turn. He grinned at Himchan as he fit his helmet on and swung his bat around. “How far do you think I can hit it?”
Himchan tilted his head with a smile. “Out of the park.”
It didn’t go out of the park, but it did go to the end of the field giving Jongup a home run and making Daehyun throw his glove down in anger. “This wasn’t a fair game!”
“Oh calm down.” Yongguk high-fived Jongup as he crossed home plate. “It’s just for fun. Next time we need to find more people to play with so it will be even.”
Himchan was waiting by the gate with a bottle of water. “You’re sweating.”
He gratefully took the drink and drunk it thirstily, water escaping down his chin and over his shirt. “It’s hot out.”
“Yeah.” Himchan’s smile was strained. “Hot.”
“Do you want to stop and go get ice cream?” Junhong appeared and collapsed beside them. “We’re not used to warm weather sports and Daehyun is about to have a meltdown.”
Jongup quickly agreed. Even though they had barely played he could see the heat getting to his friends. Playing in a freezing rink every day was the complete opposite of his favorite sport. He was just happy they had at least tried to do something just for him. It was far more than anyone else had ever done.
“I’m going to go talk to Yongguk about our game next week. I’m pretty sure you won’t be walking alone for long.” Junhong winked at him before he ran to catch up with his brother and Himchan. Youngjae and Daehyun were in the lead of their group, arguing over who would have been a better baseball player.
He fiddled with his backpack as he walked, trying to zipper it closed with one hand.
“Here. Let me help.” Himchan took the empty bottle of water out of his hand so he could zip easier. “Yongguk’s planning his defense for the game and since I’m not in it I don’t really care.” He glanced at Jongup out of the corner of his eye. “You nervous about your first real hockey game?”
Jongup wrinkled his nose and shrugged. “A little. I’m more worried about looking like an idiot and falling all over the place.”
Himchan shook his head with a small laugh. “You’ve been practicing every day for two weeks and you’re a natural sportsman. I don’t have any doubt you’ll do amazing.”
The words were stated matter of factually but it still sent a rush of pride through Jongup’s system that Himchan had been paying that much attention to him during practice.
“Thanks.” He murmured back, grateful that they had reached the ice cream parlor and he could escape to the safety of Junhong’s side again.
Being around Himchan never got any easier for him. Even though he was hurt he still showed up to their practices and cheered everyone on and made a point to say goodbye to Jongup everyday even if he had to wait by the locker room doors to do it. Junhong always rolled his eyes and made kiss faces behind Himchan’s back which just made Jongup even more scatterbrained.
Not to mention the touching Himchan had recently started dabbling in. The little ones that no one would notice unless Jongup brought them up. The ones that lasted for only a split second and then were gone leaving him unsure if he had only imagined them.
“Do you want to spend the night again?” Junhong wiped messily at his chocolate covered chin as they left the parlor. “My mom won’t care. Himchan’s there pretty much every weekend and she never notices.”
He glanced awkwardly at Himchan, wondering if he was really ready to spend another night just a room away from him. The last time was nerve-wracking enough and it was before the older boy had started the teasing touches.
There was also the nonchalant news Junhong had given him that Himchan usually slept shirtless.
Jongup gulped and shook his head. No, he was definitely not ready for that.
“Why don’t you come to my house instead? My mom keeps asking to meet you.”
“Really?” Junhong’s eyes widened. “Awesome!”
He bounced ahead to Yongguk to tell him the news, leaving Jongup alone again. This time it was Youngjae who noticed him and slowed down to his side. “Thanks for taking us to the field today. We had a fun time even if we couldn’t play for long.” They both looked towards Daehyun who was walking by himself and mumbling under his breath. “Daehyun hates everything. There’s really no other explanation for him.”
“Yeah I’ve noticed.”
They both laughed, neither noticing Himchan looking back at them with his eyebrows furrowed.
“We just need to find more people to make another team. Yongguk would never in a million years go for it but I’m friends with a member of Block Beast’s team and they would love to play against us.”
Jongup had never heard the full story of why Yongguk hated them so much. “Is he just mad because they beat our team every time?”
“Well there’s that.” Youngjae smirked at their captain’s back. “And there’s also the Zico factor.”
“Zico factor?”
Youngjae nodded and wrapped an arm around Jongup’s neck to pull him in close so that no one else could hear. “Rumor has it that they used to be good friends. Zico actually went to school with us for a few years. I didn’t know him but apparently he and Yongguk got into this huge fight and Zico had to transfer schools. Yongguk’s hated him ever since.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Himchan forced his way in between them, his lips formed up into a smile but his eyes were narrowed in Youngjae’s direction.
“Just letting Jongup into our team secrets.” Youngjae winked at a laughing Jongup as he made his way back towards the others and left them alone.
“What team secrets?” Himchan looked confused tinged with slight annoyance. “Whatever Youngjae told you about me I swear he’s lying.”
Jongup chewed the inside of his cheek and thought about letting him think he knew a deep, dark secret just to tease him but Himchan now looked so worried that Jongup didn’t have the heart to do it. “We were talking about why Yongguk hates the Block Beasts so much.”
Himchan’s dark face lightened and a smile appeared. “Oh. That. Yeah, we’re about ninety percent sure Yongguk’s repressing something there.” He watched Jongup for his reaction and appeared pleased by the normal expression on his face. “You don’t look grossed out by that.”
He knew his ears were reddening and they felt hot as fire. Was Himchan just trying to embarrass him?
“What people do on their own time isn’t any of my business.” He murmured, wishing Junhong would come back and save him. “And it shouldn’t be any of yours either.”
“I don’t care one iota whose pants Yongguk gets himself into.” Himchan sounded like he was trying to force a laugh down. “Most people just look disgusted when it’s implied it’s about two boys.”
Jongup shrugged. “Maybe it doesn’t bother me.”
Himchan turned his head so Jongup couldn’t see his smile. “Good to know.”
They were already on Yongguk and Junhong’s block and the others were waiting for them on the corner so Jongup didn’t get to respond, but Himchan was already striding away towards his best friend and Jongup was left alone with a confused frown.
---
“Our first game is this Friday.” Junhong gave Jongup their game schedule and pointed to the first circle. “Yongguk was barely able to enter us into the league since we waited so long.”
Jongup was still worried about going out and making a complete fool of himself on the ice but at least he could say they wouldn’t even be playing if it wasn’t for him. So there was one thing going for him at least.
“Who are we playing?”
“Block Beasts. There are only four teams in our league so we’ll play them all several times.”
“What does your brother think about the first game?”
Junhong rolled his eyes as they headed towards the lockers. “He’s practically blowing his load every time I mention it. Daehyun and Youngjae have a bet going on how many boners he gets during the game. Daehyun thinks six, but Youngjae is going with four. I’m saying it’ll be a full game boner that doesn’t go down.”
“You are the grossest child I have ever seen.” Himchan curled his nose from where he was waiting by Jongup’s locker. “And I think he’ll jack off before the game starts so there may be one or two random ones but that’s it.”
Jongup laughed as they continued to argue while he put his books in his locker and grabbed his backpack. “Why is everyone so curious about Yongguk and that boy? Do you all honestly think he’s into him or does he just hate him so much he gets adrenaline hard-ons or something?”
Himchan used the opportunity while Junhong ran back to his own locker to lean back against Jongup’s, fingers brushing lightly together. “He won’t answer us. Just says we’re all dumbasses and storms off. He had a girlfriend last year for a few months but they broke it off.” He nudged Jongup with his shoulder. “What about you? Ever had a girlfriend?”
His hand gripped onto the strap of his backpack. If he answered honestly then Himchan would think he was a loser, but if he lied then he would feel guilty over it every time they were around each other.
“Not really.” He finally decided on. That was as safe as he could go. “You?”
“A few.” Himchan hummed in reply. “They’re too high-maintenance though.” They saw Junhong rounding the corner towards them so Jongup quickly took a step away from the too-close older boy. “I’ll see you at practice.” Himchan shot him a small smile and left before Junhong had made it back.
“He going on to the rink?” Junhong was out of breath from rushing to get his things and practically collapsed on Jongup’s shoulder as they headed towards the door. “I’m surprised he didn’t wait for us.”
Jongup shrugged. “Why does he even come to the practices if he’s hurt? Does Yongguk make him?”
Junhong looked at him incredulously. “You’re really stupid.”
---
Their first game snuck up on him and he spent the entire Friday at school in a panic over it. Junhong tried to make him laugh and Yongguk gave him pep talk after pep talk but by the time they made it to study hall Jongup was so nervous that he felt like throwing up.
“He’s going to pass out.” Junhong and Yongguk sat across the table with their arms crossed and watched Jongup bang his head on the table.
“Nope. Barf. What do you want to b-“
“No betting.” Himchan frowned at the two from his spot beside Jongup. “He’s not going to throw up. He’s going to be fine.” He placed his good hand in between Jongup’s forehead and the wooden table so that his face was cradled the next time he tried to slam it down. “Calm down, Jongup.”
Jongup instantly responded to his words, his body now more concerned with the older boy sitting next to him than the game later that night. He could smell the grease from Himchan’s lunch of French fries still on his skin mixed with the faint scent of lotion and if he concentrated hard enough on breathing it in he could manage.
They had finally been growing more comfortable together with every passing day and now Jongup almost didn’t feel his heart pounding wildly every time Himchan touched him.
“Feeling better?” Himchan’s gravelly whisper in his ear accompanied by the slow drag of his knuckles down his arm had Jongup swallowing down a whimper.
So much for his theory. He was still fucked.
---
Jongup had never felt a high like this before. Even when his old team won the championships his sophomore year and they had all received knee-high trophies he hadn’t been this excited, this elated, this alive.
“You look like you’re going to vibrate right out of your pants.” Youngjae subtly scooted down the bench towards Junhong.
He didn’t even know how to put into words what he was feeling, that even if they lost that everything they had done was the result of them finally all being together, being a team. His mouth opened to respond but the words wouldn’t come out because the lump in his throat was so large nothing could pass it.
“He’s just happy.” Himchan squeezed his shoulder and smiled happily at him. He gently settled Jongup onto the bench and stood behind him, finally able to rub his shoulders with both hands now that he had his new sling on, until Jongup slowly started to calm down under his touch. “You did a great job, Jongup.”
The other boys weren’t even close to looking as happy as he felt, probably because this was just another loss on their record but Jongup had never felt as free as he had on the ice. When Zico had skated too close and he had been able to shove him against the glass and heard the crack his body had made Jongup felt electric.
“That was amazing.” He finally managed to stammer out. He reached behind him to grab hold of Himchan’s shirt because he needed something to ground him to this moment because he felt as full as a balloon, ready to pop at any moment. “Is it always like that?”
Yongguk grinned and nodded. “It’s a rush isn’t it? After my first game I went home and threw up. You’ve played the calm sport your whole life. Welcome to the intense side of sports.”
He looked up at Himchan, still too out of control to notice the curious expression on Himchan’s face. “I can’t wait until you’re better. I want to play with you, too.”
The black eyes staring into his darkened and a muscle twitched on the side of Himchan’s jaw.
“Oh god it’s here it’s happening.” Junhong jumped up and grabbed at his backpack. He was still in just his jeans, his t-shirt balled into his fist. “I’m leaving before they start.”
The other three ran after him in various stages of undress, Daehyun mumbling curses under his breath as he tripped out the door trying to pull his jeans on.
“What’s wrong with them?” Jongup stood up beside Himchan and pulled his jersey over his head. It got stuck on one of his pads and he was left with his arms in the air trying to get it to budge. “I’m stuck. Himchannie help.”
When Himchan pressed against him from behind and his hands snuck around his chest Jongup thought he got what Junhong was talking about. Because his skin tingled as Himchan’s palms pushed the jersey upwards and his breathing grew shorter when he felt Himchan’s lips on the curve of his ear.
“I don’t think you’ll want me on the ice with you.”
“W-Why?” Jongup’s eyes closed all on their own, his breaths embarrassing loud in the empty locker room. He now knew exactly what Himchan’s body felt like wrapped around his and he could smell the cologne the older boy wore and it was making his head spin.
Himchan threw the jersey off to the side but stayed where he was even when Jongup didn’t need his help anymore. “Because if I was out there I would have killed Zico for shoving you against the glass.” This time his palms slipped their way downward, fingertips just barely skimming the button to his pants.
He wanted to ask why again but Himchan was turning him around and his back was against the cold locker and all he could feel was Himchan’s chest rising and lowering against his own.
“Jongup?”
They probably should have talked about it, set down boundaries, decided what they wanted, did this as adults. But Jongup just wanted Himchan’s lips on his and nothing else mattered.
He moaned against him as Himchan pressed them tighter together, hands still gripping onto Jongup’s hips. “Him-“
Before he could finish his name Himchan had already smashed his lips down, more teeth than kiss, but Jongup didn’t care. His arms flew up to grip Himchan’s hair, fingers tangling into the perfectly styled strands and earning a growl that rumbled through his lips.
Jongup had always wondered what his first kiss would be like. He had assumed it would be with a girl, but after he had met Himchan there was no one in the world he would rather share it with. A meek, soft girl would never be able to make his blood run as fast or as hot as Himchan’s sturdy body pressed flat against him.
“This doesn’t have to mean anything.” Himchan trailed his lips down Jongup’s neck, teeth scraping across the flutter of his pulse. “Not if you don’t want it too.”
“I want it to.” He tugged sharply on Himchan’s hair to show his displeasure.
Himchan laughed, the sound vibrating through Jongup’s sensitive skin and causing him to shiver. “Okay then.” He held Jongup up with an arm across his chest, the other hand fumbling with the button on his uniform. The almost missed whimper Jongup made when his thumb brushed across the front of his boxers had Himchan’s grin darkening and his lips finding Jongup’s again. “Are you going to have to be calmed down like this after every game?”
He nodded, hands searching for purchase on the cold lockers. Himchan was just barely touching him over the thin cotton and the blood rushing through his ears was so loud he was worried Himchan would hear it. “Please.”
Pegging Himchan as a tease should have been obvious but Jongup knew in the back of his head that Himchan wasn’t so cruel that he would leave him high and dry in the end. If he could just get him to touch him.
When Himchan’s tongue slid against the seam of his lips and prodded gently at the tips of his teeth he forgot his frustration because no one ever told him having someone’s warm tongue inside his mouth would be the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced. It slipped against his with ease and Jongup had to force himself not to whine pathetically for more because the more Himchan kissed him the more his body needed what it wasn’t getting.
He stilled Himchan’s wrist and shoved his hips forward so that he was cupped inside the other boy’s palm. His boxers had rode up over his hips from the continuous movement his electric body had been making so when Himchan spread his fingers outward the tips brushed across the soft skin of Jongup’s inner thigh and this time there was no stopping the needy mewls that spilled from his swollen lips.
Himchan caught them all with his mouth, not letting anyone else get the chance to hear the sounds that were for his ears only. “Pretty.” His hand dipped below Jongup’s waistband, skimming right above where he was supposed to be, just enough to make Jongup sputter and plead. Sharp teeth caught hold of Jongup’s slick bottom lip at the same second he encircled him with his fist. He sucked and smoothed over Jongup’s most sensitive places with a precision that had Jongup feeling like he was going crazy over in just a matter of seconds.
“More?” Jongup stumbled over the word as Himchan’s grip tightened over him. “H-Harder.”
It was barely a month ago that Himchan had first seen the new boy in the cafeteria and had labeled him as cute and quiet but that was tossed out the window with every command and beg that Jongup growled at him until all the words ran together into one long moan of his name.
His hips stuttered and then stopped moving completely before Jongup collapsed into Himchan’s arms exhausted but so sated that his eyes drooped heavily.
“Wow.” Jongup turned his head so that his lips brushed against Himchan’s neck. “If you can do that with one hand in a sling I can’t wait to see you healed.”
Himchan let out a loud bark of laughter as he helped Jongup out of the rest of his uniform and into his street clothes. “Is that your way of asking me out?”
Jongup realized what he had said and slapped a hand over his mouth. Who would have believed he got mouthy when turned on? “Uh?”
“Two weeks.” Himchan grabbed Jongup’s hand and braided their fingers together. “I’m supposed to be all finished with the doctor in two weeks and then we’ll see what my hands can do.”
---
Yongguk groaned as he exited the rink with the rest of his team. He ignored the boy waiting by the front door and hurried his steps to get away quicker.
“Hey! Yongguk wait up!”
“Is this night turning out really fucked up for everyone else or is it just me?” Youngjae mumbled to them as he grabbed Daehyun and Junhong’s arms and tugged them in the opposite direction. “We’ll see you later Guk.”
Zico caught up to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop. “What was that for? You heard me yelling.”
His phone made a welcome distraction from the need to punch his old best friend square in the face. He shrugged as he pushed the buttons and pretended to play a game but was really just typing gibberish because he couldn’t think straight when Zico was so close to him.
“Haven’t you hated me long enough, Yongguk?” He had never noticed on the ice how tall Zico had gotten. Now he was probably taller than him, another fact that had Yongguk annoyed. “I miss you.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you moved away without even telling me.” Yongguk snarled, shoving him away when he came too close. “I tried to call you every day for weeks.”
Zico smiled sheepishly, the action piercing through Yongguk’s resolve. “After you left that day I might have gotten angry and broke it.” He took a step forward, ignoring Yongguk’s warning growl. “Besides, if I remember correctly you told me to stay the fuck away from me you fucking bastard. How was I supposed to know you’d try to call after that?”
The memory of that day their freshman year was still raw and it still made Yongguk’s chest ache at the brokenhearted way Zico had looked at him right before he stormed off.
“Because you should have known better than that.” Yongguk didn’t even try to hide the hurt in his voice. “You should have known me, Zico.”
HimUp extra scene HERE (second drabble)
Extra HimUp oneshot HERE (sets up for ZiBang sequel)
Rated: M (one very small M scene at the end)
Length: 15.6K (part two 7.5K)
Part One
“You need a helmet, too.” Junhong steered him towards the opposite wall where helmets from multiple sports lined the shelves. “The school supplies our uniforms and padding, but helmets are a personal choice so we buy our own.” He pointed towards a cheaper one lower to the ground. “This is the same one Yongguk wears and if he likes it then it has to be good.”
“But you don’t wear it?”
Junhong puffed his chest out proudly. “I wear a goalie helmet. They’re special.” He grabbed one off the shelf and held it out towards Jongup. “It has a mask on it which a lot of people don’t wear. Daehyun says they bother him so he doesn’t wear it. But he’s probably also going to graduate with at least one tooth missing because of it so I recommend a mask.”
Jongup juggled the armful of other items he had in his arms and grabbed the box. “Is this all? I had to get an advance on my allowance and promise to sell one of my signed baseballs before my mom gave me her credit card.”
“Yep.” Junhong eyed the stick Jongup had under his arm. “I can’t believe you picked the same stick as Himchan. You do realize he’s our worst player.”
“I didn’t know Himchan used it when I picked it.” Jongup snapped. “I just like the way it felt in my hands.”
With a laugh Junhong took the oversized box of skates out of his hands. “Just don’t cry to me if you end up being as bad as him.”
They paid for the items, Jongup wincing at the total, and left the store with four bags of everything Junhong said he would need to be a real hockey player. After returning Jongup’s mother’s credit card (because Jongup didn’t want Junhong to suddenly remember something else they needed), the two went straight towards the rink to practice for the hour left before supper (“Our mom is really big on eating meals together when she’s home.” Junhong explained apologetically.).
“Your skates might be a little stiff until you break them in more. That’s why I had you get the first aid kit. Get used to blisters and tight muscles.” Junhong pulled a bottle of heat rub out of his bag and waved it towards Jongup. “These will be your best friend. It relaxes your muscles.”
Jongup felt his head swimming with all of the random tidbits of information Junhong kept giving him. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to remember them all. Ways to exercise to build up the muscles needed to skate easier all the way to the best foods to eat on game days.
“Most important rule though?” Junhong elbowed Jongup playfully. “Have fun.”
“That’s what my grandpa says. You’re supposed to be hip and cool.”
“Jongup, I don’t think hip and cool kids actually say hip and cool.” Junhong chastised, growing frustrated with how long it was taking him to lace his skates. “Let me do it. You’re still too slow.”
Practice was a lot easier with only Junhong’s instructions to concentrate on. He was able to learn the game slowly and let all the rules sink in before Junhong moved on to another one. Once their one-on-one practice was over Jongup felt confident that he would be able to hold his own in their next team practice.
“Ready for supper?” Junhong grabbed their bags and carried them because he could tell Jongup was exhausted and wouldn’t be able to hold the heavy equipment. “My mom’s ordering pizza.”
He felt like his brain was even too tired to think so he gladly let Junhong lead the conversation as they walked towards his house. This was the first time he had ever been invited over to a friend’s home and he wished he was more alert to remember the location in case he was asked back. But all he could think about was a hot shower and the promise of a full belly to care about anything else.
“You look like you’ve been worked hard.” Yongguk laughed as Jongup stumbled in after Junhong, his head crashing against the taller boy’s back.
“I want to sleep for days.” He mumbled, closing his eyes and wondering if it was possible to sleep standing up. “Your brother is trying to kill me.”
Yongguk pulled Jongup away from his younger brother and winced at the bruises already forming on his arms. “Padding only goes so far, Jongup. You have to learn how to turn into the hits.” He half walked, half carried Jongup to the couch and helped him to sit down comfortably. “I’ll go get some ice while Junhong cleans up.”
Jongup felt fingers gently touching the painful bruises on his arm and whimpered, but his eyes were still too heavy to open until a concerned voice asked him if he was okay.
“Himchan?” He felt his face turn hot at how close together they were sitting. Yongguk had practically placed him in Himchan’s lap on the couch. “What are you doing here? I mean, I’m fine, I’m not, I didn’t mean to, hi.”
Let the earth open up and swallow him down and grind him into teeny tiny pieces.
“Hi.” Himchan’s lips twitched as he tried not to smile. He took the ice from Yongguk and motioned Jongup to move towards him again. “C’mere.”
He still felt like the world’s biggest idiot but did as the older boy ordered. “You don’t have to do that.”
Himchan shook his head, placing the bag on one of Jongup’s shoulders. “You have to move the ice around so your skin doesn’t get too numb. I’ve done this enough I know what to do.” After a few moments he moved the bag to the other shoulder. “Still happy you joined the hockey team?”
His eyes were trained on his lap because he wasn’t sure he could handle looking up into Himchan’s eyes when they were so close. “Do you not want me there?”
The laugh in Himchan’s chest rumbled dangerously close to his bare arm. “No, no I want you there.” He lifted Jongup’s arm and placed the ice above his elbow where he’d had a nasty shove from Junhong. “Trust me.”
“My mom just ordered supper!” Junhong skidded into the room, his hair dripping from a hasty shower. “I can show you where the bathroom is.” He narrowed his eyes at the fingers that were stroking down his friend’s arm. “Yongguk’s in the kitchen, Himchan.”
Himchan gave Jongup a quick squeeze of the wrist before he headed towards the other room, leaving Junhong and Jongup alone.
The silence between them was awkward and Jongup wondered what was running through the other boy’s head. Was he angry that Jongup and Himchan were sitting so close? Did he have a secret crush on his brother’s best friend and thought Jongup was getting in the way? Did Junhong have a crush on him?
No, that one was easy enough to dismiss. They had changed side by side in the locker room and Junhong hadn’t so much as glanced at him, instead chattering about their practice.
“There’s a towel in there and your bag’s in my bedroom.” Junhong’s smile was strained when he pointed to the bathroom door. “We’ll be downstairs.”
The hot water soothed his sore body and he felt a hundred pounds lighter after washing the sweat off his body. When he bounced down the steps in his pajama pants and t-shirt he didn’t even have to fake the smile on his lips. Hockey was hard. Hockey was an adjustment. But as he looked around the table at the three boys joking with each other and having a great time he was sure that this was the best decision he had made in a long time.
“You hungry?” Yongguk noticed him in the doorway and gave him a grin. “The food just got here.”
The only extra seat was between Himchan and Junhong. He quietly scooted closer to the table and took a plate from Yongguk.
“Do you like pepperoni?” Himchan held the first piece out to him, happily setting it onto his plate when Jongup nodded. “Yongguk and I rented a couple of movies if you two want to watch them with us later.”
Junhong rolled his eyes as he chewed angrily on his pizza. “Jongup and I were going to play Final Fantasy.”
“Oh.” Jongup wondered if maybe Himchan looked just a little bit disappointed but it passed as soon as a bright grin crossed his lips again. “Maybe some other time then.”
---
Jongup stared up at the bottom of Junhong’s bunk and told himself that saying this was one of the funnest nights he’d ever had was probably a little creepy. It was one in the morning and he had spent the last four hours playing video games with Junhong and then another hour searching through Junhong’s iPod to see if they had any musical tastes in common.
They could hear Himchan and Yongguk laughing at whatever movie they were watching downstairs and for a few seconds he wanted to ask Junhong if they could join them. Tiny little, insignificant, not even worth thinking about crush on Himchan aside, he enjoyed funny movies.
“Jongup?” Junhong hung his head over the side of the bunk and peered down at Jongup in the dim room. “Can I ask you a question?”
He nodded sleepily. “Sure.”
Junhong chewed on his lower lip before he spoke again. “Do you like Himchan?”
He felt a stab in his gut at the accusatory tone in Junhong’s voice and he thought to himself, this is it everything’s over back to being alone with no friends.
“Of course I like Himchan.” He tried to pass it off as no big deal. Like Junhong was just being silly. “He’s a nice guy. He and Yongguk are really nice.”
Junhong narrowed his eyes down at him. “You know what I mean.”
He looked up at his friend and forced his lips to reply because the look on Junhong’s face promised that he wasn’t going to let it go. “Yes.” He could have lied, he probably should have lied, but Jongup didn’t want to. Junhong was the only good friend he had ever made and he would never be able to look at him again if he was keeping secrets. “I think so.”
“I can tell.” Junhong traced the rung of the ladder as he sighed. “Pretty sure the world can tell. You need to learn how to stop undressing him with your eyes every time you look at him.”
He rolled over and groaned into the pillow. There was still a small possibility that hole could open up under him. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to people with eyes.” Junhong offered helpfully. “But if it makes you feel any better it’s not near as embarrassing as the goopy way he looks at you.”
“What?” That had him sitting up and clenching the sheets under him in anxiety. “What do you mean? I thought you were mad at me? Aren’t you angry that I like him?”
Junhong scrunched his face up in confusion. “Why would I be mad at you? You mean because you’re gay?” He shrugged. “Just don’t look at me naked or anything. And if you do at least make it look like you’re appreciating it.”
Maybe a meteor would strike him down, Jongup thought reassuringly. That happens all the time in movies.
“I don’t know what I am.” Jongup moaned miserably into his hands. “I’ve liked girls before, too. And what about your crush on Himchan?”
A gagging sound came from over top him. “No, no, no. I have never had a thing for him. He’s been Yongguk’s best friend practically my whole life.”
“Then why have you been acting so weird around me?” He peeked through the crack in his fingers. “You made me think you were upset I was getting in your way.”
Junhong snorted and threw his pillow down at Jongup’s face. “I was upset that he was getting in my way you idiot. You’re my friend and I don’t want you to join our team or hang out with me just because you want to see Himchan.”
Well that kind of hurt his feelings…
“I’m not doing that. I had never even seen Himchan till after I met you. And I joined the team because I like all of you. It was nice to see a team that was so close and I wanted that, too.”
Junhong seemed satisfied with that answer because he nodded and scooted back into his bed. “Just try to stop making the ooey gooey puppy eyes at him because it’s really gross.”
“So you don’t care that I like boys?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty gross, too. But I’ve always had my suspicions about Himchan and it’s only a matter of time before the Block Beasts captain gets into Yongguk’s pants.”
They were quiet for so long that Jongup thought Junhong had fallen asleep and was just starting to drift off as well when Junhong murmured sadly above him.
“I am a little disappointed you think Himchan’s hotter than me. That’s just rude.”
“Junhong I will get myself off all over your toothbrush if you don’t go to sleep.”
At least he expected the other pillow to his head that time.
---
“What are you guys doing in here? Don’t you have to take notes for Himchan’s Science class?” Junhong smiled happily at the two boys but Jongup felt like his throat was closing up on him. Instead of sitting across the table by Yongguk like he thought he would, Himchan made himself at home right beside Jongup. He continued hoping that every time they were in the same room together that it would be easier to breathe but Himchan kept making him hyperaware of every move he made even after two weeks on the team together.
“My teacher’s sick today so we snuck out.” Himchan rested his good arm across the back of Jongup’s chair and leaned back in his seat. “Yongguk thought you two might be lonely in here and need some company.”
Yongguk kicked his chair under the table making Himchan fall back to the floor with an oomph. “Please. You’re the one who nagged me to come up here. I wanted to scope out the Home Ec room and see what they were cooking this hour.”
Fingers skimmed at the bottom of Jongup’s sleeves and he could feel goose bumps crawling along his skin. Himchan didn’t seem to notice his response as he laughed at something with Yongguk. Perhaps he was doing it absentmindedly, Jongup assured himself. As soon as he realized he would stop.
The minutes seemed to tick by like hours with Himchan not even seeming to care that Jongup was sitting next to him and Junhong joining them easily in their inside jokes and school gossip.
A few minutes before the bell the two brothers started arguing together over whose turn it was to do the supper dishes while Jongup was lost in his own world and performing the multiplication tables over and over in his mind.
“So serious.”
He squeaked and jumped away from the hot breath in his ear. Himchan was so close that Jongup was almost positive that he had felt his lips on his skin.
“What?”
Himchan’s arm across the back of his seat slid lower until his palm was flat over Jongup’s shoulder. “Why don’t I ever get to see you smile? You’re always so serious.”
“I smile all the time.” His hand was heavy and hot Jongup was too scared to move away because he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel comfortable.
“I know you do.” His thumb stroked under Jongup’s sleeve against his bare skin and Jongup lost his train of thought. “But never at me.”
Jongup didn’t think a person’s eyes could be any deeper or darker than Himchan’s were as they gazed straight into his.
“I’m shy.” The words felt so stupid in his own ears but they were all he could think to say. “I don’t make many friends.”
“Well…” The thumb moved again, that damn thumb. “What do you like to do then? Let’s all do something that makes you comfortable.”
He wondered if Himchan could feel the tremors in his body from how close he was. He also wondered if Himchan was doing this to him on purpose just for his own amusement. Surely the older boy wasn’t that cruel.
“Jongup likes baseball.” Junhong spoke up across the table, a smirk on his lips. “He was going to join the team.” His eyes slid over to Jongup and twinkled in amusement. “But he decided to join our hockey team instead. Funny, huh?”
The bell rang before anyone could ask what he meant. Himchan gave Jongup one last stroke on his shoulder as Yongguk gathered their notebooks up. “This weekend let’s take a break from hockey and go play baseball then.”
Jongup’s eyes brightened happily because he really missed his favorite sport and wanted to share it with his new friends. “Really? You guys want to play?”
Yongguk shrugged. “Sure, why not? It’ll be fun to see Daehyun get mad and cuss everyone out in a different setting for once.”
---
“You’re fucking insane.” Daehyun looked at the glove Jongup held out to him in disgust. “I don’t know what to do with that.”
“It’s a glove.” He smiled determinedly and forced Daehyun to take it. “I have enough for all of you. My grandma buys me a new one for my birthday every year so they’re all brand new. You can keep it if you want it.”
Daehyun glared at him like this was a setup. He begrudgingly slid the glove on and followed the others onto the field where Junhong and Youngjae were arguing over who got Jongup on their team.
“He’s my best friend!”
“But you’ve played before and none of us have!” Youngjae grabbed Jongup by the arm and pulled him to his and Yongguk’s side. “You two should be on separate teams and I called dibs on him first.”
Junhong looked like he was five seconds away from jumping on Youngjae and chewing his head off.
“It’s okay, Junhonggie. I’ll try to play fairly, I promise.” He led his team onto the field and placed Youngjae as the pitcher and Yongguk in the field. “I’ll play as catcher so I won’t even be in the field. Is that fair?”
“Fine.” Junhong banged his bat on the dirt childishly before stepping into the batting stance he still remembered from his numerous times at playing in PE. “But once Himchan gets better we’re doing this again. You and me against them all.”
Himchan laughed from behind the fence where he had named himself manager and had started calling out all of the different baseball lines that he knew. “Hey batter batter hey batter batter!”
“Himchan I swear I will pull you through that fence by your hair.” Junhong growled after the second round of Take Me Out to the Ballgame. “We just started two minutes ago and I already want to kill you.”
Jongup pulled Junhong’s borrowed hockey mask over his face and kneeled down to line up with Youngjae’s pitches. He heard a strangled groan from behind him and turned to see if Himchan was okay.
“I had something in my throat.”
“Jongup’s dick maybe.” Junhong muttered, swinging at the wild pitch Youngjae had made. “That was way too high!”
Youngjae shrugged and stumbled after the ball Jongup threw back to him.
“Oh come on!” The next ball bounced before it even made it to them.
Laughing, Jongup jumped back to his feet and cracked his back. He wasn’t used to catching and his knees were hurting. “Do you want to trade? All you have to do is catch the ball and throw it back?”
They switched positions but Jongup didn’t think this through because now he had a straight line view of Himchan, arm above his head and fingers curled into the fence. His eyes were squinted in the bright sun but they were obviously trained directly on him.
He swallowed and wound up a pitch, making sure not to throw it half as hard as he normally would have. Junhong swung and connected easily but he barely hit it hard enough to reach the pitcher’s mound. By the time he made it to first base Yongguk was already waiting with the ball in his glove and a grin on his face. “You’re out baby brother.”
Up next was Daehyun and they could already see the determination on his face as he awkwardly held the bat out to his side. Jongup had a half second of thought that maybe he should go easy on him but then he remembered all the snide comments Daehyun had said to him over the past few weeks. Sure he did it with everyone, that was just Daehyun they all told him, but it still annoyed him.
He wound up and threw him a curve ball which Daehyun of course missed by a mile.
“Hey! You gave Junhong an easy pitch!”
Jongup smiled innocently and waited for Youngjae to lunge towards the ball and throw it back.
The second was a straight line pitch that he didn’t even have time to swing at.
“Strike two!” Himchan yelled from behind the fence.
Daehyun glared at Jongup and his body tensed as Jongup decided to take it easy on him and threw a soft pitch that Daehyun barely caught the tip of. The ball sailed through the air and right into Jongup’s outstretched glove.
“You’re out!” Himchan called out helpfully.
“It’s not like it was fair anyways.” Daehyun grumbled, throwing the bat over his shoulder and ignoring the oomph of pain as it hit Himchan’s fingers through the fence. “It should have been all of us against him to begin with.”
Youngjae informed them that he and Yongguk was going first so that Jongup could go last and hit them home.
“We’re not keeping score!” Daehyun screamed from first base. “There are only two of us!”
“I’ll catch while you two bat.” Jongup grimaced as he got back into the catching position. Youngjae and Yongguk were both on base when it was Jongup’s turn. He grinned at Himchan as he fit his helmet on and swung his bat around. “How far do you think I can hit it?”
Himchan tilted his head with a smile. “Out of the park.”
It didn’t go out of the park, but it did go to the end of the field giving Jongup a home run and making Daehyun throw his glove down in anger. “This wasn’t a fair game!”
“Oh calm down.” Yongguk high-fived Jongup as he crossed home plate. “It’s just for fun. Next time we need to find more people to play with so it will be even.”
Himchan was waiting by the gate with a bottle of water. “You’re sweating.”
He gratefully took the drink and drunk it thirstily, water escaping down his chin and over his shirt. “It’s hot out.”
“Yeah.” Himchan’s smile was strained. “Hot.”
“Do you want to stop and go get ice cream?” Junhong appeared and collapsed beside them. “We’re not used to warm weather sports and Daehyun is about to have a meltdown.”
Jongup quickly agreed. Even though they had barely played he could see the heat getting to his friends. Playing in a freezing rink every day was the complete opposite of his favorite sport. He was just happy they had at least tried to do something just for him. It was far more than anyone else had ever done.
“I’m going to go talk to Yongguk about our game next week. I’m pretty sure you won’t be walking alone for long.” Junhong winked at him before he ran to catch up with his brother and Himchan. Youngjae and Daehyun were in the lead of their group, arguing over who would have been a better baseball player.
He fiddled with his backpack as he walked, trying to zipper it closed with one hand.
“Here. Let me help.” Himchan took the empty bottle of water out of his hand so he could zip easier. “Yongguk’s planning his defense for the game and since I’m not in it I don’t really care.” He glanced at Jongup out of the corner of his eye. “You nervous about your first real hockey game?”
Jongup wrinkled his nose and shrugged. “A little. I’m more worried about looking like an idiot and falling all over the place.”
Himchan shook his head with a small laugh. “You’ve been practicing every day for two weeks and you’re a natural sportsman. I don’t have any doubt you’ll do amazing.”
The words were stated matter of factually but it still sent a rush of pride through Jongup’s system that Himchan had been paying that much attention to him during practice.
“Thanks.” He murmured back, grateful that they had reached the ice cream parlor and he could escape to the safety of Junhong’s side again.
Being around Himchan never got any easier for him. Even though he was hurt he still showed up to their practices and cheered everyone on and made a point to say goodbye to Jongup everyday even if he had to wait by the locker room doors to do it. Junhong always rolled his eyes and made kiss faces behind Himchan’s back which just made Jongup even more scatterbrained.
Not to mention the touching Himchan had recently started dabbling in. The little ones that no one would notice unless Jongup brought them up. The ones that lasted for only a split second and then were gone leaving him unsure if he had only imagined them.
“Do you want to spend the night again?” Junhong wiped messily at his chocolate covered chin as they left the parlor. “My mom won’t care. Himchan’s there pretty much every weekend and she never notices.”
He glanced awkwardly at Himchan, wondering if he was really ready to spend another night just a room away from him. The last time was nerve-wracking enough and it was before the older boy had started the teasing touches.
There was also the nonchalant news Junhong had given him that Himchan usually slept shirtless.
Jongup gulped and shook his head. No, he was definitely not ready for that.
“Why don’t you come to my house instead? My mom keeps asking to meet you.”
“Really?” Junhong’s eyes widened. “Awesome!”
He bounced ahead to Yongguk to tell him the news, leaving Jongup alone again. This time it was Youngjae who noticed him and slowed down to his side. “Thanks for taking us to the field today. We had a fun time even if we couldn’t play for long.” They both looked towards Daehyun who was walking by himself and mumbling under his breath. “Daehyun hates everything. There’s really no other explanation for him.”
“Yeah I’ve noticed.”
They both laughed, neither noticing Himchan looking back at them with his eyebrows furrowed.
“We just need to find more people to make another team. Yongguk would never in a million years go for it but I’m friends with a member of Block Beast’s team and they would love to play against us.”
Jongup had never heard the full story of why Yongguk hated them so much. “Is he just mad because they beat our team every time?”
“Well there’s that.” Youngjae smirked at their captain’s back. “And there’s also the Zico factor.”
“Zico factor?”
Youngjae nodded and wrapped an arm around Jongup’s neck to pull him in close so that no one else could hear. “Rumor has it that they used to be good friends. Zico actually went to school with us for a few years. I didn’t know him but apparently he and Yongguk got into this huge fight and Zico had to transfer schools. Yongguk’s hated him ever since.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Himchan forced his way in between them, his lips formed up into a smile but his eyes were narrowed in Youngjae’s direction.
“Just letting Jongup into our team secrets.” Youngjae winked at a laughing Jongup as he made his way back towards the others and left them alone.
“What team secrets?” Himchan looked confused tinged with slight annoyance. “Whatever Youngjae told you about me I swear he’s lying.”
Jongup chewed the inside of his cheek and thought about letting him think he knew a deep, dark secret just to tease him but Himchan now looked so worried that Jongup didn’t have the heart to do it. “We were talking about why Yongguk hates the Block Beasts so much.”
Himchan’s dark face lightened and a smile appeared. “Oh. That. Yeah, we’re about ninety percent sure Yongguk’s repressing something there.” He watched Jongup for his reaction and appeared pleased by the normal expression on his face. “You don’t look grossed out by that.”
He knew his ears were reddening and they felt hot as fire. Was Himchan just trying to embarrass him?
“What people do on their own time isn’t any of my business.” He murmured, wishing Junhong would come back and save him. “And it shouldn’t be any of yours either.”
“I don’t care one iota whose pants Yongguk gets himself into.” Himchan sounded like he was trying to force a laugh down. “Most people just look disgusted when it’s implied it’s about two boys.”
Jongup shrugged. “Maybe it doesn’t bother me.”
Himchan turned his head so Jongup couldn’t see his smile. “Good to know.”
They were already on Yongguk and Junhong’s block and the others were waiting for them on the corner so Jongup didn’t get to respond, but Himchan was already striding away towards his best friend and Jongup was left alone with a confused frown.
---
“Our first game is this Friday.” Junhong gave Jongup their game schedule and pointed to the first circle. “Yongguk was barely able to enter us into the league since we waited so long.”
Jongup was still worried about going out and making a complete fool of himself on the ice but at least he could say they wouldn’t even be playing if it wasn’t for him. So there was one thing going for him at least.
“Who are we playing?”
“Block Beasts. There are only four teams in our league so we’ll play them all several times.”
“What does your brother think about the first game?”
Junhong rolled his eyes as they headed towards the lockers. “He’s practically blowing his load every time I mention it. Daehyun and Youngjae have a bet going on how many boners he gets during the game. Daehyun thinks six, but Youngjae is going with four. I’m saying it’ll be a full game boner that doesn’t go down.”
“You are the grossest child I have ever seen.” Himchan curled his nose from where he was waiting by Jongup’s locker. “And I think he’ll jack off before the game starts so there may be one or two random ones but that’s it.”
Jongup laughed as they continued to argue while he put his books in his locker and grabbed his backpack. “Why is everyone so curious about Yongguk and that boy? Do you all honestly think he’s into him or does he just hate him so much he gets adrenaline hard-ons or something?”
Himchan used the opportunity while Junhong ran back to his own locker to lean back against Jongup’s, fingers brushing lightly together. “He won’t answer us. Just says we’re all dumbasses and storms off. He had a girlfriend last year for a few months but they broke it off.” He nudged Jongup with his shoulder. “What about you? Ever had a girlfriend?”
His hand gripped onto the strap of his backpack. If he answered honestly then Himchan would think he was a loser, but if he lied then he would feel guilty over it every time they were around each other.
“Not really.” He finally decided on. That was as safe as he could go. “You?”
“A few.” Himchan hummed in reply. “They’re too high-maintenance though.” They saw Junhong rounding the corner towards them so Jongup quickly took a step away from the too-close older boy. “I’ll see you at practice.” Himchan shot him a small smile and left before Junhong had made it back.
“He going on to the rink?” Junhong was out of breath from rushing to get his things and practically collapsed on Jongup’s shoulder as they headed towards the door. “I’m surprised he didn’t wait for us.”
Jongup shrugged. “Why does he even come to the practices if he’s hurt? Does Yongguk make him?”
Junhong looked at him incredulously. “You’re really stupid.”
---
Their first game snuck up on him and he spent the entire Friday at school in a panic over it. Junhong tried to make him laugh and Yongguk gave him pep talk after pep talk but by the time they made it to study hall Jongup was so nervous that he felt like throwing up.
“He’s going to pass out.” Junhong and Yongguk sat across the table with their arms crossed and watched Jongup bang his head on the table.
“Nope. Barf. What do you want to b-“
“No betting.” Himchan frowned at the two from his spot beside Jongup. “He’s not going to throw up. He’s going to be fine.” He placed his good hand in between Jongup’s forehead and the wooden table so that his face was cradled the next time he tried to slam it down. “Calm down, Jongup.”
Jongup instantly responded to his words, his body now more concerned with the older boy sitting next to him than the game later that night. He could smell the grease from Himchan’s lunch of French fries still on his skin mixed with the faint scent of lotion and if he concentrated hard enough on breathing it in he could manage.
They had finally been growing more comfortable together with every passing day and now Jongup almost didn’t feel his heart pounding wildly every time Himchan touched him.
“Feeling better?” Himchan’s gravelly whisper in his ear accompanied by the slow drag of his knuckles down his arm had Jongup swallowing down a whimper.
So much for his theory. He was still fucked.
---
Jongup had never felt a high like this before. Even when his old team won the championships his sophomore year and they had all received knee-high trophies he hadn’t been this excited, this elated, this alive.
“You look like you’re going to vibrate right out of your pants.” Youngjae subtly scooted down the bench towards Junhong.
He didn’t even know how to put into words what he was feeling, that even if they lost that everything they had done was the result of them finally all being together, being a team. His mouth opened to respond but the words wouldn’t come out because the lump in his throat was so large nothing could pass it.
“He’s just happy.” Himchan squeezed his shoulder and smiled happily at him. He gently settled Jongup onto the bench and stood behind him, finally able to rub his shoulders with both hands now that he had his new sling on, until Jongup slowly started to calm down under his touch. “You did a great job, Jongup.”
The other boys weren’t even close to looking as happy as he felt, probably because this was just another loss on their record but Jongup had never felt as free as he had on the ice. When Zico had skated too close and he had been able to shove him against the glass and heard the crack his body had made Jongup felt electric.
“That was amazing.” He finally managed to stammer out. He reached behind him to grab hold of Himchan’s shirt because he needed something to ground him to this moment because he felt as full as a balloon, ready to pop at any moment. “Is it always like that?”
Yongguk grinned and nodded. “It’s a rush isn’t it? After my first game I went home and threw up. You’ve played the calm sport your whole life. Welcome to the intense side of sports.”
He looked up at Himchan, still too out of control to notice the curious expression on Himchan’s face. “I can’t wait until you’re better. I want to play with you, too.”
The black eyes staring into his darkened and a muscle twitched on the side of Himchan’s jaw.
“Oh god it’s here it’s happening.” Junhong jumped up and grabbed at his backpack. He was still in just his jeans, his t-shirt balled into his fist. “I’m leaving before they start.”
The other three ran after him in various stages of undress, Daehyun mumbling curses under his breath as he tripped out the door trying to pull his jeans on.
“What’s wrong with them?” Jongup stood up beside Himchan and pulled his jersey over his head. It got stuck on one of his pads and he was left with his arms in the air trying to get it to budge. “I’m stuck. Himchannie help.”
When Himchan pressed against him from behind and his hands snuck around his chest Jongup thought he got what Junhong was talking about. Because his skin tingled as Himchan’s palms pushed the jersey upwards and his breathing grew shorter when he felt Himchan’s lips on the curve of his ear.
“I don’t think you’ll want me on the ice with you.”
“W-Why?” Jongup’s eyes closed all on their own, his breaths embarrassing loud in the empty locker room. He now knew exactly what Himchan’s body felt like wrapped around his and he could smell the cologne the older boy wore and it was making his head spin.
Himchan threw the jersey off to the side but stayed where he was even when Jongup didn’t need his help anymore. “Because if I was out there I would have killed Zico for shoving you against the glass.” This time his palms slipped their way downward, fingertips just barely skimming the button to his pants.
He wanted to ask why again but Himchan was turning him around and his back was against the cold locker and all he could feel was Himchan’s chest rising and lowering against his own.
“Jongup?”
They probably should have talked about it, set down boundaries, decided what they wanted, did this as adults. But Jongup just wanted Himchan’s lips on his and nothing else mattered.
He moaned against him as Himchan pressed them tighter together, hands still gripping onto Jongup’s hips. “Him-“
Before he could finish his name Himchan had already smashed his lips down, more teeth than kiss, but Jongup didn’t care. His arms flew up to grip Himchan’s hair, fingers tangling into the perfectly styled strands and earning a growl that rumbled through his lips.
Jongup had always wondered what his first kiss would be like. He had assumed it would be with a girl, but after he had met Himchan there was no one in the world he would rather share it with. A meek, soft girl would never be able to make his blood run as fast or as hot as Himchan’s sturdy body pressed flat against him.
“This doesn’t have to mean anything.” Himchan trailed his lips down Jongup’s neck, teeth scraping across the flutter of his pulse. “Not if you don’t want it too.”
“I want it to.” He tugged sharply on Himchan’s hair to show his displeasure.
Himchan laughed, the sound vibrating through Jongup’s sensitive skin and causing him to shiver. “Okay then.” He held Jongup up with an arm across his chest, the other hand fumbling with the button on his uniform. The almost missed whimper Jongup made when his thumb brushed across the front of his boxers had Himchan’s grin darkening and his lips finding Jongup’s again. “Are you going to have to be calmed down like this after every game?”
He nodded, hands searching for purchase on the cold lockers. Himchan was just barely touching him over the thin cotton and the blood rushing through his ears was so loud he was worried Himchan would hear it. “Please.”
Pegging Himchan as a tease should have been obvious but Jongup knew in the back of his head that Himchan wasn’t so cruel that he would leave him high and dry in the end. If he could just get him to touch him.
When Himchan’s tongue slid against the seam of his lips and prodded gently at the tips of his teeth he forgot his frustration because no one ever told him having someone’s warm tongue inside his mouth would be the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced. It slipped against his with ease and Jongup had to force himself not to whine pathetically for more because the more Himchan kissed him the more his body needed what it wasn’t getting.
He stilled Himchan’s wrist and shoved his hips forward so that he was cupped inside the other boy’s palm. His boxers had rode up over his hips from the continuous movement his electric body had been making so when Himchan spread his fingers outward the tips brushed across the soft skin of Jongup’s inner thigh and this time there was no stopping the needy mewls that spilled from his swollen lips.
Himchan caught them all with his mouth, not letting anyone else get the chance to hear the sounds that were for his ears only. “Pretty.” His hand dipped below Jongup’s waistband, skimming right above where he was supposed to be, just enough to make Jongup sputter and plead. Sharp teeth caught hold of Jongup’s slick bottom lip at the same second he encircled him with his fist. He sucked and smoothed over Jongup’s most sensitive places with a precision that had Jongup feeling like he was going crazy over in just a matter of seconds.
“More?” Jongup stumbled over the word as Himchan’s grip tightened over him. “H-Harder.”
It was barely a month ago that Himchan had first seen the new boy in the cafeteria and had labeled him as cute and quiet but that was tossed out the window with every command and beg that Jongup growled at him until all the words ran together into one long moan of his name.
His hips stuttered and then stopped moving completely before Jongup collapsed into Himchan’s arms exhausted but so sated that his eyes drooped heavily.
“Wow.” Jongup turned his head so that his lips brushed against Himchan’s neck. “If you can do that with one hand in a sling I can’t wait to see you healed.”
Himchan let out a loud bark of laughter as he helped Jongup out of the rest of his uniform and into his street clothes. “Is that your way of asking me out?”
Jongup realized what he had said and slapped a hand over his mouth. Who would have believed he got mouthy when turned on? “Uh?”
“Two weeks.” Himchan grabbed Jongup’s hand and braided their fingers together. “I’m supposed to be all finished with the doctor in two weeks and then we’ll see what my hands can do.”
---
Yongguk groaned as he exited the rink with the rest of his team. He ignored the boy waiting by the front door and hurried his steps to get away quicker.
“Hey! Yongguk wait up!”
“Is this night turning out really fucked up for everyone else or is it just me?” Youngjae mumbled to them as he grabbed Daehyun and Junhong’s arms and tugged them in the opposite direction. “We’ll see you later Guk.”
Zico caught up to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop. “What was that for? You heard me yelling.”
His phone made a welcome distraction from the need to punch his old best friend square in the face. He shrugged as he pushed the buttons and pretended to play a game but was really just typing gibberish because he couldn’t think straight when Zico was so close to him.
“Haven’t you hated me long enough, Yongguk?” He had never noticed on the ice how tall Zico had gotten. Now he was probably taller than him, another fact that had Yongguk annoyed. “I miss you.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you moved away without even telling me.” Yongguk snarled, shoving him away when he came too close. “I tried to call you every day for weeks.”
Zico smiled sheepishly, the action piercing through Yongguk’s resolve. “After you left that day I might have gotten angry and broke it.” He took a step forward, ignoring Yongguk’s warning growl. “Besides, if I remember correctly you told me to stay the fuck away from me you fucking bastard. How was I supposed to know you’d try to call after that?”
The memory of that day their freshman year was still raw and it still made Yongguk’s chest ache at the brokenhearted way Zico had looked at him right before he stormed off.
“Because you should have known better than that.” Yongguk didn’t even try to hide the hurt in his voice. “You should have known me, Zico.”
HimUp extra scene HERE (second drabble)
Extra HimUp oneshot HERE (sets up for ZiBang sequel)