The Nicest Thing (sequel to The Second Best Thing) *oneshot*
Pairing: ZiLo
Rated: M
Length: 7.7K
The Second Best Thing
I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep
Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen (x)
The lips pressed against his were thick and soft and so slick with whiskey that Zelo thought he could get drunk off the kisses alone. The only thing keeping his mind above water was the knowledge that his older brother was asleep just down the hall and could wake up at any moment.
“Sorry we got back so late.” Zico’s tongue was thick with the alcohol and his words were slurry against Zelo’s mouth. “I tried to get him to leave two hours ago but your brother is a mean drunk.”
Zelo didn’t care that it was three in the morning and he had work the next day, or that he had stayed up practically all night waiting for the two to stumble in completely wasted from their evening at the bar. When Zico had suggested he might be able to sneak an invitation to stay over from his brother Zelo was hesitant. What if Yongguk woke up and they were caught? What if Zico came back to the apartment smelling like perfume and covered in lipstick?
“It’s okay.” He let out a deep breath as Zico’s lips slid clumsily across his skin and over his jaw. “You’re here now.”
“Yeah.” Zico chuckled as he flattened his body overtop of Zelo’s, hips grinding down until he had the younger boy’s whines growing steadily louder. “I’m here now.”
---
“You look like shit.” Zelo whistled cheerily to himself the next morning when he entered the kitchen and saw his brother looking like death warmed over at the table.
Yongguk groaned and dropped his head into his arms. “Shut the fuck up before I punch you in the face.”
Zico stumbled into the kitchen with bleary eyes and furrowed brows. “Don’t be rude, Guk. His face is too pretty to punch.”
The grimace on Yongguk’s lips shot down the spike of happiness Zico’s words had given him. Zelo had been trying to get along with his brother for months now, just because Zico asked him to but he wasn’t getting anywhere. The nicer he acted the ruder Yongguk became. It was like he was angry at him for something but Zelo still didn’t know what it was. They had never really been close but they had at least managed to get along in the past. Now Yongguk was verging on homicidal towards him.
“I have to drop Junhong off at work so you need to head out.” Yongguk told Zico frostily.
With a chuckle and a smirk Zico merely nodded and pulled himself up from the table. “See you later, Guk.” He turned towards Zelo and gave him a wink. “Bye Zelo.”
When he left Yongguk let out a sigh and turned his glare towards his brother. “Way to keep it in your pants, Junhong.”
“W-What?” Zelo sputtered, his eyes widening with horror. Had his brother discovered them after all?
“You practically drool every time Zico gets near you.” Yongguk’s face twisted up in disgust. “It’s pathetic, Junhong. That boy is too old for you and he’s not good enough.”
He didn’t catch the slight compliment Yongguk gave him, only hearing the other meaning in his words. “Zico is your friend. What would he think if he heard you saying all these rude things about him?”
With a laugh Yongguk shook his head and grabbed a muffin before he left the table. “I only call it like I see it. He may be my friend but I sure as hell don’t want my dick anywhere near him. He’ll sleep with anything that smiles at him. God knows what I’d catch.”
He left before he could see the stricken expression on Zelo’s face.
“What?” He mumbled, his reaction delayed, but Yongguk was already gone. “He what?”
---
12:37 pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Hey, sorry I had to leave so early. I’ll see you when you get off work though!
-
4:33pm
To Zelo
From Zico
You got off at 4, right? It’s 4:30 where are you at?
-
5:02pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Zelo where are you???
-
Zelo watched the text messages pile up on his phone with a grimace. It took Zico almost two hours and six texts to realize that he wasn’t meeting him at their spot and wasn’t going to tell him why.
-
5:56 pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry just tell me what it is. Please talk to me.
-
He wanted to see him, wanted Zico to tell him Yongguk was wrong and that he didn’t know what he was talking about, but would he believe him? Would he be able to trust what Zico told him?
And if he didn’t then what did that mean? It would be the end of them and Zelo wasn’t ready for that yet.
Work had passed by feeling like days while he sat at the library desk and robotically checked books in and out. Usually he enjoyed his job. It wasn’t something he had ever seen himself doing but when his mother had mentioned there was an opening at the library and his aunt, the head librarian, was worried no one would want it, he begged for the chance to apply. It would not only give him some extra money but he also now had a built in excuse to leave the house and meet with Zico. It was getting harder and harder to find random reasons to get out, what with Yongguk eying him every chance he got. Now he could work on the weekends for six hours or so and then meet Zico in the park on his way home. The arrangement had worked perfectly for the last six months. This was the first time Zelo had completely ignored him.
Good, he sneered to himself. Let Zico be the one to wonder all the time what I’m doing. Every Friday and Saturday night when his brother would run off to meet him at the dance club and Yongguk would come home completely covered in the smell of perfume and alcohol, Zelo had gone to bed with shaking hands wondering what Zico smelled like.
-
6:31pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Fine. I’m coming over.
-
He shot out of his bed and let out a strangled cry at the last text. Yongguk was home and Zico would have known that, was he really going to be stupid and show up at their door? He needed to get out and meet him outside so Yongguk never knew he was even there. Both of their parents had gone out for the evening so at least they wouldn’t witness Yongguk beating him to a tiny pulp.
“I’m going out!” He tried to put a cheery face on, lips stretched wide and eyes scary and possibly twitching. “Be back in a little bit.”
“Where are you going?”
Dammit, he didn’t have that part of the plan worked out yet. “Just… Just to the convenience store. I need some soda.”
His brother pointed to the fridge with an eyebrow raised. “There’s some in there. I just got it.” He held up a soda can and shook it to emphasize his point.
“But I want root beer!” Zelo blurted, edging towards the door. “I’m the only one that drinks it so we never have any.”
Yongguk’s jaw ticked and Zelo knew he was done for. “Alright.” He shrugged and turned back towards the baseball game on the TV. “Be back in twenty minutes.”
Zelo was frozen for a moment as he tried to understand what had just happened. His brother had just given him the okay to leave the house, something that had never happened before.
He ran into his room and grabbed his wallet off the dresser and was back by the front door shoving his shoes on in less than four seconds. “See you later!” His voice was probably high and squeaky, but now was not the time to think about it.
“What happened?”
Zico was already standing on the other side of the door when he had it wrenched open. The older boy’s eyes were manic with worry, his hands grabbing Zelo and patting him down for injuries. “Are you alright? Where were you?” He sagged with relief and jerked Zelo forward into his arms.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Zico was suddenly ripped away from him and slammed against the kitchen wall, Yongguk furious face pressed against his. “I’ve told you before. Do not touch. My. Brother.”
“Put him down!” Zelo grabbed at Yongguk’s arms and tried to pull him away but Yongguk held on tightly. He could see Zico’s face starting to pale from lack of air and he did the only thing he could think of.
“Christ!” Yongguk dropped Zico in a heap on the floor and grabbed for the back of his knee where Zelo had kicked him as hard as he could. “That hurt!”
Zelo jumped in between the two boys and stared his brother down. “And now I’m telling you. Do not touch Zico.” He didn’t care if Zico was seeing other people behind his back, didn’t worry about the ramifications of his actions, all he was wanting was Zico’s safety.
Yongguk looked between them with growing awareness. “Junhong… Junhong what did you do?”
An arm was wrapped around his waist with Zico’s smirking face popping up over his shoulder. “He didn’t do anything wrong, Guk. We’ve been seeing each other.”
And that was all Zelo remembered for the next ten minutes. There was screaming, there was punches thrown, there was blood covering skin, so much blood he thought to himself later as he washed his clothes for the third time.
Finally, only after the two older boys were exhausted and collapsed on the ground did Yongguk deliver the knockout blow.
“I’m going to tell mom and dad.”
His lip curled as he looked at Zelo like he didn’t even know him anymore. “You’ve fucked up this time, Junhong. And with Zico? Out of all the people in the world you pick the only one I asked you to stay away from? Do you even like him? And you!” Yongguk turned to Zico and his body stiffened in anger again. “My baby brother? You could have anyone you wanted. Hell, you have had everyone you wanted. Is this to get back at me for something? I pissed you off somewhere along the line and you decide to seduce my goddamned brother as repayment?”
Zico shook his head, wincing at the pain it gave him. “No. I like him, Yongguk. I want to be with him. Just him.”
“Bullshit.” Yongguk pulled himself to his feet and staggered to the door. “Junhong wouldn’t want a damn thing to do with you if he knew the things you do every weekend. Tell him then. Tell him every single thing you’ve done in the last three years that we’ve been friends.”
They waited for Zico to speak up but he couldn’t lift his eyes off his lap.
“Zico? What’s he talking about?” Zelo bit his tongue hard enough to taste blood. “Please?”
The blonde hair that Zico had been sporting for the last eight months hid the deep set eyes that Junhong thought he had trusted. “I can’t.” He lifted his head and silently pleaded with Zelo to forgive him as he grabbed at the counter to pull himself up. “Zelo I never wanted to have to tell you those things, but they were all before we slept together, I pro-“
He was cut off with a furious roar as Yongguk found the strength to give him one last right hook to the eye before he was shoved out of the apartment into the hallway.
“If I catch you anywhere near my brother again, I will pull your arms off with my bare hands. If I catch you trying to call him, text him, meet with him, any contact at all, I will cut your tongue out with a butter knife. From this moment on you don’t even know the name Junhong.” Yongguk warned.
Zico was still staring at only Zelo, begging him to listen but he had heard enough. He could already feel his heart breaking and Zico’s wet eyes and hoarse voice begging him to listen wasn’t helping.
“Leave me alone. Both of you, just leave me alone.” He slammed the front door shut and ignored his brother’s angry questions that were shot at his back. Locking himself in his room and turning his iPod up to full volume was the only way he could get the sound of Zico’s voice cracking as he asked him for forgiveness out of his head.
He wanted Zico’s palm against his, wanted the way he would braid them together and kiss each of Zelo’s fingertips one by one.
“Three months.” Zico pulled him back into the trees where no one visiting the park would be able to see them. “That’s how long it’s been since you seduced me over a box a pizza.”
“Hey!” Zelo playfully shoved him against a tree and slapped at his grabbing hands. “There was no seducing involved, thank you very much. You were ready for the taking.”
He was spun around, his back against the tree and Zico’s hands covering his hips. “I just couldn’t resist a slutty boy pretending to be drunk just to get in my pants.” Laughter vibrated against Zelo’s neck as Zico nipped at it. “Baby, I’m only human.”
The pet name still sent a thrill of emotion through Zelo’s chest even though he had heard it almost every day since they had started seeing each other.
He liked to think it was just used for him, but now? Now he wasn’t sure about anything.
---
There were no attempts to contact him for the rest of the night. He kind of wanted Zico to beg, wanted him to at least pretend that he cared about more than sex from him. But he never called, he never texted and Zelo assumed that was it. Zico was just a small six month part of his life and he would just have to get over him. Eventually. Maybe?
“Are we never going to do this in a bed again?” Zico laughed breathlessly as he tugged on the bottom of Zelo’s shirt, helping it over his head. “Not gonna lie, you look pretty damn nice covered in leaves and dirt.” He dropped down to his elbows and bit gently against Zelo’s sharp ribs. “But I know this has to hurt your back.”
Zelo wasn’t listening to the words coming out of his mouth anymore. All he could concentrate on was the dull teeth scraping against his rib bones and the knee that was slowly, way too slowly grinding against him.
“Zelooo?” The bastard knew his touches turned Zelo into a ball of jelly, but he always found it amusing to keep dragging angry strangled gasps out of his lips until he had Zelo snapping and ordering him to do exactly what he wanted. “You’re so gorgeous like this, baby.” Fingers found the snap to his jeans and expertly undid it, yanking them down his thighs so he could bury his face against Zelo’s faded green boxers. “So responsive.” He murmured when Zelo’s hips jerked up on their own and his whines of Zico’s name grew so loud that Zico had to slap a palm over his mouth. “I’m sorry baby, but it’s the middle of the day. There are kids around.”
He didn’t remember anything else from that day but the slow drag of Zico’s tongue and the way his blonde hair felt sliding through his fingers and the taste of himself on Zico’s lips as he kissed him senseless before they parted.
Did Zico remember any of their moments, Zelo wondered as he left the library the next day. Did he replay them in his mind over and over when they were apart throughout the week?
Because of Yongguk they never got to see each other on weekdays, only occasional text messages when he knew his brother wouldn’t get suspicious. But on Saturday and Sunday they could spend however long they wanted together after work. Sometimes Zelo wouldn’t arrive home until nightfall and all he had to do was tell his mother they were busy at work and she believed him no question. Was Zico one person when they were together and another completely different one when apart?
“Zelo?”
He immediately flinched and ignored the boy waiting by the exit, striding urgently towards his bus stop.
“Zelo, please just- Baby, listen!”
The sweet name made his throat close and he had to fight to force down the whimper building up. “Go away.” He didn’t bother looking as he crossed the street and ignored the screeching tires and horns honking as he made his way to the other side.
Zico finally caught up and grabbed at his arm, forcing him to turn around. “Please just listen to me, Zelo!”
“How many people have you slept with?” Zico’s eyes widened and he took a step back at the unexpected question. “Since your first time, how many do you think there’s been?”
He could tell it was more than the other boy wanted to admit to by the wince in his expression.
“A lot.” Zico finally whispered in reply. “But you knew how I was before your brother fucked everything up, you knew what type of person I used to be!”
Zelo scoffed and turned away again, letting his feet take over. “Used to be, huh. That’s rich, Zico. That’s damn rich. Maybe I’ll go sleep with dozens of people too then. Boys, girls, whatever. If I never mattered to you, why should you matter to me?”
He heard a growl behind him before Zico jumped in front of him and blocked the sidewalk. “I swear to god if you let anyone else touch you…”
“You’ll what?” Zelo leaned closer to him and smirked. Two could play at being cool. He had grown up long enough with his uncaring brother to know how to hide his true emotions. “I don’t think you’ll do a thing. I think you just enjoyed messing with a sixteen year old boy’s feelings and that’s why you played with me for so long. Well guess what, I’m not sixteen anymore and I’m not going to sit at home all week waiting for you to text me when you’re out doing god knows what with god knows who.”
“Stop.” Zico clenched his jaw and rolled it back and forth while he visibly forced himself to calm down. “Whatever your brother did to make you hate me, it shouldn’t work. It cann’t work because you know how I feel about you. Baby please-”
“You fuck me.” Zelo pulled his phone out and pretended to look through it with a bored expression. All the while his heart was racing and he knew he was about two minutes away from throwing himself into Zico’s arms and begging him to take him back. “And you pretend to like me because all of this is a game. Congratulations Zico, you win. I quit. Leave me alone.”
He managed to walk away without making a fool of himself by crying all over Zico’s sweatshirt or tripping because he couldn’t see out of his spilling over eyes.
This time Zico didn’t follow him.
***
“I brought you supper.” Zico proudly held out two boxes of takeout and a threadbare red picnic blanket. “I know you don’t normally eat till later but I never get to take you out.”
Both of their cheeks were flushed with red as they settled down on the blanket and opened their boxes. Zico scooted closer so that his arm could easily drape over Zelo’s thigh. He squeezed it gently before turning his concentration back to his noodles.
“Good?” He asked nervously, grinning brightly at Zelo’s quick nod. “I wish we could go eat at a real restaurant. And not hide in the damn woods like criminals.”
Zelo hummed innocently as he placed his box to the side and grabbed Zico’s doing the same to his. “Yeah, but if we were out in public and I wanted to kiss you I couldn’t do it.” He shoved Zico’s back to the blanket and quickly climbed over top of him. Zico’s tongue was hot from the spices in his food, but it just made Zelo imagine it hot and sticky and wet on his skin and he moaned involuntarily in his mouth.
“Damn…” Zico managed to push the needy boy up and off so he could catch his breath and lick across his swollen lips. “I gotta breathe, baby.” He panted, smiling breathlessly up at him. “Okay enough breathing time, c’mere.” His hand curled into the soft hairs at the nape of Zelo’s neck and he pulled him back down, lips gently catching with his own. He was more experienced at this and knew just how to flick his tongue and move his lips at just the right speed to make Zelo dizzy with want.
“I love the sounds you make when I kiss you.” Zico flipped them over grabbed at Zelo’s leg, hitching it up over his hip, rocking into him once, twice, until he had Zelo’s hips stuttering against his own, small mewls and whiny chants of his name against his mouth. “I want to make love to you all night, baby. Until the stars are out and the moon light shines on your skin and I’m all you can think about.”
Zelo cried out, his eyes scrunching shut tightly. His back arched off the ground and his fingers scrambled against Zico’s back as he begged for more.
Later, when he was coming down from his high, he thought he had heard Zico whispering against his skin as he left his mark in places no one would ever see, but it was just a passing thought before the thought of payback entered his head and then he was chasing after Zico’s lips and he was wrist deep in the other’s jeans and his name sounded so good rolling off of those thick lips and he forgot all about the deep words he thought he had heard.
***
He watched his coworker from across the library. The new boy had only been working there for a few weeks but he was already a better worker than half the other college students they hired during the school year. He was also pretty sure the new boy was into him, if the blatant flirting and shameless touching were any indications. When he had Zico waiting for him after every shift he had ignored everyone else.
But now he wanted to play.
“Youngjae!” He pouted his bottom lip out and pointed to his computer. “My screen is freezing again. Can you fix it?”
The smile that spread across the other boy’s face almost made him feel guilty for what he was doing, but not enough to stop. Zico was doing whatever he wanted to now and so was he.
Youngjae rushed over and needlessly leaned over Zelo’s shoulder, his chest flat against him. “You must have hit a button and readjusted the colors.” He pressed forward a little and fiddled with the buttons on the bottom of the screen that Zelo had played with before calling him over. “Easy fix.” He leaned back and gave him the chubby cheeked grin that Zelo had heard the girl working in the poetry section moaning about in the break room.
“Thanks.” He knew he had a smile the girls went crazy for, too. The dimples were what his mother called his lady killers. And just like drawing bees to honey he had Youngjae’s eyes dropping to look at them and getting trapped. “I’ve just been so distracted lately and I must have messed it up. I’m such an idiot.”
“No, no, don’t worry about it.” Youngjae placed his hand on his shoulder and rubbed gentle circles into it, letting his fingers slip under the hem a couple times. The feeling of someone else touching his skin was new and had Zelo wincing uncomfortable. Maybe he shouldn’t do this after all. He wanted to get revenge on Zico, but not like this. Not when the thought of someone else touching him made him want to throw up. Not when he could smell Youngjae’s cologne and it was too much, too different, too soon.
“Do you want to go out sometime?” He didn’t mean to be so forward but this wasn’t really a well thought out plan to begin with and sometimes you had to just roll with it. “With me?”
Youngjae tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You’re asking me on a date?”
Oh shit, Zelo thought to himself in a panic. Maybe Youngjae wasn’t into boys, maybe he was just an overly friendly person and he had read too much into it.
“Yes?”
After a few more long, crippling seconds of silence, Youngjae finally nodded. “Sure.”
“R-Really?” Zelo licked his lips, not noticing the way Youngjae’s eyes locked onto them when he did. “Great!”
“Next Saturday good? I get off about an hour before you do. I can wait?”
He nodded, worried if they waited too much longer then he would get nervous and back out. “Okay.”
That day he left work with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step as he thought about a date with Youngjae. He had no physical interest in him, but he would know that this was to get back at Zico and that’s all that mattered.
“You look happy.” Zico’s suspicious voice rang out behind him as he passed the exit, causing him to stop in his tracks and spin around wildly. “Should I be worried?”
“What do you want?” Zelo tapped his foot impatiently and hated that the older boy had worn his loose tank top, the same one that he had been wearing their first night together. He could still remember how he had been dying to touch his tattoos and feel how soft his skin was and-
Zico jumped forward suddenly and trapped him between his arms, so close that Zelo could look down and see straight into his shirt. “I’ve been texting you all week, why won’t you just tell me what you want? Just tell me what I can do and I’ll do it, just come back to me!”
“Go away.” He pushed weakly at Zico’s chest, not sure if he wanted to pull him closer or run far away. “I have a date next weekend, I’m done with you.”
His words cut off as Zico’s lips slammed into his own, pressing so firmly they hurt and he couldn’t breathe. The taste of cigarettes was on his tongue and Zelo couldn’t even fight as it nudged lovingly at his own.
“Zelo…” Zico mouthed at his jaw and his voice was so raw sounding that it hit him like a punch in the heart. “Baby, I lo-“
“No.” His lips were numb as he spoke and he finally got Zico at a manageable distance. “Stop. It’s not enough for you to break my heart by using me and sleeping with everything you could get your hands on, but now you want to just completely crush me?” He took a deep breath and looked at Zico with steely eyes. “If you come near me again then I’m going to tell Yongguk.”
They both knew what Yongguk would do to Zico if he caught him going behind his back again. Even if they used to be best friends that was all over the second he found out his best friend was sleeping with his little brother. As far as Zelo knew they weren’t even talking anymore.
“Yongguk has nothing to do with this.” Zico tried again to win him over. “It’s between you and me, Zelo. My heart, your heart. I know you love m-“ He groaned as Zelo’s fist made contact with his jaw. The bruises from Yongguk were still colored dully on his skin and Zelo almost felt bad at how much it had to have hurt.
“I don’t love whores.” He told him flatly.
***
“Do you ever get tired of meeting me after work every weekend?” Zelo leaned his back against Zico’s chest and let the other boy cradle him closer, palm warm under his t-shirt. “You’re always waiting for me when I get off. Even when I’m early you’re still already here.”
Zico’s laughter vibrated against his back. “I’m eager.” He admitted, stroking the soft skin under his belly button. “I usually get here an hour before you’re off just in case.”
“Don’t you have stuff to do? Friends you had to leave?”
“Not really.” Zico shrugged and tried to distract him by scraping his teeth lightly across his earlobe. “I see you and then I go home until it’s time to meet your brother. He’s usually drunk an hour after we get there and I stay for a couple hours then leave. Keep up appearances. It’s important to make him believe I’m not hiding anything.”
He never did like Zico going to those clubs with his brother. Yongguk always came home with the stench of desperation and with pockets filled to the brim with phone numbers written in lipstick. He wondered what Zico did for those three hours every Saturday when Zelo wasn’t around.
“Do you get drunk, too?” He asked nonchalantly, tracing his name across Zico’s arm.
Zico hummed in reply as he moved sideways on the bench so he could pull Zelo further up his chest. “Sometimes.”
Zelo nodded, already able to picture the steady stream of girls that strolled past him, ready to pounce at the slightest indication it was wanted. Or what if it was boys? Girls he could understand Zico being attracted to. They were different than what he had with him, something new. But if Zico was with boys every weekend after he had just been with him then Zelo didn’t know how to take that.
“I have a few drinks, I smoke some cigarettes with my friends then I go home.” Zico whispered patiently into his ear. “Trust me, Zelo.”
Trust. Not a word Zelo had ever been familiar with.
***
7:48am
To Zelo
From Zico
I know you’re probably halfway to school right now and drinking orange juice and trying to read whatever was assigned in Science because you hate that class and you never do your work on time. I know this because I know you, Zelo. I know your routines. Just like you know the real me. Don’t do this.
-
3:12pm
To Zelo
From Zico
And now you’re probably at the comic book store because it’s Monday and Monday is new shipment day. I miss you.
-
9:47pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Goodnight baby.
-
“If I wanted to change my cell phone number how would I do that?” He tried to ask the question casually, but his brother’s sharp ears caught everything.
Their mother narrowed her eyes at her youngest son. “Is there a particular reason you want to change your number, Junhong?”
He shook his head. “Just getting some calls from people wanting me to donate to them or buy stuff.”
Yongguk sat back in his seat and held a hand out. “I can make it so that only numbers in your contact list can get through. Give me your phone.”
Zico’s texts and numerous photos of the two of them were on his phone. “No, that’s okay.” He patted his pocket and made sure it was still tucked in snugly. “I don’t want to have to go to that extreme. I’ll just keep telling them to stop calling.” A wiser person would delete all traces of evidence of their six month relationship. But Zelo wasn’t quite ready for that yet. Sometimes he could flip through his photos and see just how much Zico cared about him and it simultaneously hurt him deeper and lightened his chest.
He left for school with downcast eyes and a frown, another thing Yongguk caught.
“Junhong, wait.” Yongguk rushed towards him and waited for the elevator side by side with him. “Is he still trying to get ahold of you?”
Zelo sighed. His head hurt, his heart hurt, everything on him just hurt and it had all started when his brother had tried to mess with his head and turn him against Zico. “I’m fine.”
“No you’re not.” Yongguk stopped the elevator. His lips were thinned as he looked over his brother. Zelo had lost weight in the last week and a half, his cheeks were gaunt and dark circles covered the bottom of his eyes. “I swear to god I will kill him.”
It was a mistake to go to school today, Zelo realized. He should have stayed in bed and slept it off for the next few days.
“You don’t know anything.” His tired eyes darted towards his brothers and he wanted to slap the cocky expression right off his lips. “You know nothing about what’s wrong with me.”
“I know that little bastard is harassing you.” Yongguk pulled his phone out of his pocket and angrily punched buttons. “I’ll tell him to meet me then I’ll show him what happens when you mess with my little brother.”
Zelo pushed him so hard against the side of the elevator that the phone flew across the small room. “You’ve already done enough don’t you think? Did you ever stop to think that maybe I was happy with Zico? That maybe I cared about him, that he cared about me?”
Another know it all shake of his brother’s head. “You don’t know Zico like I do, Junhong. A few phone calls of him sweet talking you is nothing new, then after a couple weeks he gets bored and moves o-“
“Six months.” Zelo dropped him to the floor and pressed his fist against his lips. He wanted to throw up, wanted to cry, he just wanted Zico. “We’ve been dating for six months.”
“W-What?” His brother paled. “That’s not possible. Zico never dates anyone for more than a month.”
He laughed humorously. “That party you had. Where he brought everyone over and you locked me in my room all night.” Yongguk’s face reddened with anger but Zelo just didn’t even care anymore. “I love him, Yongguk.”
The phone in his pocket beeped right on schedule, just as it had been doing all week. “That’s him telling me good morning. When I get out of school he’ll tell me he hoped I had a good day. At night he texts that he misses me and he hopes I sleep well.” He shakily wiped his cheeks clean of the wetness that had been spilling down them. “If he’s just using me then what are those, Yongguk? Why does he meet me after work on the weekends just to go sit in the park and do absolutely nothing half the time? Why does he tell me he’s perfectly happy holding my hand, that he doesn’t need to have sex every time we see each other to feel close to me?”
Yongguk kept shaking his head, unable to believe the things his brother was saying. “But you don’t… You don’t know what he used to be like Zelo!”
“A whore? He used to sleep with everyone? He doesn’t have to paint me a picture to know those things, you tell me about it every chance you get.”
“Does he tell you about the alcohol? The drugs? Does he tell you he was sent to the hospital last year when he overdosed?”
Of course Zelo didn’t know that. And he didn’t need to. Zico didn’t have to spell it out for him to know that he wasn’t proud of the person he used to be. This must have been what had happened the past year that Zico never wanted to talk about. “When was the last time you saw him doing drugs? Or leaving with someone?”
Yongguk frowned and his eyes unfocused as he thought hard. He obviously couldn’t remember and it was pissing him off.
“Maybe you can’t remember because he doesn’t do those things anymore.” Zelo supplied gently. “The Zico you know isn’t the Zico I know.” He pressed the start button and the elevator buzzed to life again. The door opened before Yongguk could reply, but there was nothing else he could say that Zelo wanted to hear. “I just wish I knew why you hated me so much that you had to take away the one thing that I loved.”
***
“I think I want to go back to school.” Zico was quiet and he nervously played with a stray string on the sleeve of Zelo’s hoodie. “Like take some college classes and see how it goes.”
Zelo knew this was a big deal for Zico. He didn’t know the details of what happened, but Zico had mentioned he had left school the year before and never went back.
“That sounds good.” He murmured back sleepily, his face so warm and safe enclosed in the crook of Zico’s neck. “What about me?”
The other boy chuckled and tipped Zelo’s chin back. “There’s no weekend classes, don’t worry baby. Weekends are Zelo days, that’s just a given.” He kissed him softly and slowly until Zelo couldn’t breathe and had to pull away with a pant. “You really think I’m going to let anything get in the way of my Zelo days?”
***
Yongguk didn’t speak to him about Zico again, but Zelo could feel his brother’s eyes on his back every time he had to walk through the apartment.
Finally, only when Saturday rolled around again and he got dressed for work did he remember his date with Youngjae tonight. He groaned under his breath and slapped his forehead at his stupidness for doing what he did. The only reason he had flirted so shamelessly was because he knew Zico would be waiting for him and he wanted to rub it in his face that he had already moved on. But he hadn’t moved on and he had zero interest in dating Youngjae.
“I need your help.” There was only one thing he could think of to do that would get him out of his date, but it was the very last thing he ever wanted to ask for.
Yongguk raised an eyebrow. “Go on.” He laid his book to the side and raised an eyebrow.
“I have a date with someone from work.” He ignored Yongguk’s wince and hurriedly continued. “I only made it because I was mad and I really, really don’t want to go. Can you pull some of your normal psychotic protective brother shit and make it go away?”
He caught a flash of hurt in his brother’s eyes but didn’t dwell on it. This was the time for his own problems, he didn’t care about Yongguk’s.
“What do you want me to do?”
Zelo sagged with relief. A part of him was worried it was just Zico that Yongguk had a problem with but now he understood it was just all potential dates.
“I get off at four. Wait for us outside and throw one of your hissy fits and convince him that dating me is too much of a hassle.” Zelo sneered as he walked away. “That’s what you’re good at, right?”
***
Youngjae was more handsy than usual that day, if that was even possible. He used every excuse possible to touch Zelo and run his hands across him, a bright innocent smile every time.
“I thought we’d go to a movie for our date tonight.” He suggested as he gathered up the returned books and separated them according to section. It usually took about ten minutes but the older boy had spent the last twenty minutes doing it as slowly as possible to keep talking to Zelo. “It’s a scary one, but you can hold on to me if you feel scared.” His wink before he walked away made Zelo’s skin crawl. How could he ever think that was a good idea? Youngjae was overall a nice person, albeit a little creepy, but he shouldn’t have led him on like this.
When he got off work he wasn’t sure if Yongguk would be there or not. Youngjae had brought his schoolwork in with him and worked on it while he waited, eyes catching Zelo’s occasionally to throw him another grin and wink.
“Junhong.” He almost cried with happiness when he heard Yongguk’s voice ring out behind them as they exited the library. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Youngjae’s arm across his shoulders tightened possessively as he stared down the stranger trying to interrupt their date. “Can we help you?”
His arm was removed as Yongguk grabbed Zelo and pulled him away. “That’s my baby brother you’re groping.” He told him stonily. “Come on Junhong, it’s time to go home now.”
He squeezed Yongguk’s hand in thanks and started to follow him, but a grip on his other wrist stopped him. “I think Zelo and I had a date tonight. And I don’t remember him telling me he had a guard dog.”
Oh Youngjae… Zelo said a quick prayer for his life as he watched Yongguk’s face change colors from pink to red to purple.
“Junhong has a boyfriend already.” He blurted.
That stopped both of them in their tracks.
“He does?”
“I do?”
Yongguk grimaced and pointed behind them. “Lesser of the two evils.” He muttered under his breath.
Zelo turned around to see Zico watching them, eyes on the harsh way Youngjae was holding on to Zelo’s wrist. “I believe that wrist belongs to me.” He spoke up quietly. His glare turned from their hands to Youngjae’s face, fists tightening as he stormed forwards.
With a groan of displeasure Youngjae dropped his arm and took a step backwards. “Look kid, I thought you were cute but this is ridiculous.” He waved goodbye and left, leaving Zelo in between Yongguk and Zico.
“Hey.” Zico smiled cautiously and took another step towards them. “I missed you baby.”
Yongguk gagged at the sweet talk and held his hands in the air. “I don’t like this.” He told them sternly. “I don’t think either of you are right for each other and to be honest, the knowledge that my baby brother is gay is messed the fuck up.” He rubbed a palm over his face and took a deep breath. “But seeing him wasting away because he’s hurting is worse.” Gentle eyes caught Zelo’s. “I care about you more than I care about anyone, Junhong. I’m sorry that the way I show it is by keeping you wrapped up in a bubble, but I just don’t want you to get hurt. It seems like no matter what I do you just keep sinking lower and lower and I have to start letting you make your own decisions. I’m sorry.”
He had never talked to him like this and Zelo felt guilty for all of the horrible things he had said or done to him over the years.
“I’ll tell you everything you want to know, Zelo.” Zico said softly behind him. “Every single bit if it means you’ll trust me again.”
This conversation was making his head spin. “I don’t want to know it.” He prodded at the furrow between his brows and wished he had some headache medicine. “I trusted you, Zico. You should know that.”
“Then why did you let your brother turn you against me?” Zico spun him around and cradled his cheeks softly in his hands. “If you know I wouldn’t hurt you then why did you push me away? You ignored all of my texts, you walked away from me when I tried to talk to you!”
“Because it’s tiring listening to him tell me how stupid I am every day!” Zelo yelled angrily. “He tells me you do horrible things and even though I know you wouldn’t, it’s really fucking frustrating to hear them all the time, over and over! I just want to be with you and not have to worry about hiding it and pretending we don’t have any sort of relationship and I just want to be able to tell you I love you!”
Yongguk made an awkward coughing sound and excused himself. “And that’s my queue to go. I won’t interfere anymore. I promise.”
Zico smiled as he swept Zelo’s bangs out of his face. “You love me?”
“Sometimes.” Zelo pouted back, pushing his bottom lip out and looking anywhere but at Zico.
“I love you, too.”
He stiffened when Zico’s lips were suddenly on his. They were in the middle of town, they couldn’t do this, what if someone they knew saw? But then Zico was wrapping his arms around his waist and holding him like he was glass and he was mouthing how much he missed him over and over and Zelo didn’t care anymore.
“If you think this is going to be like last time though, where we only got to see each other on the weekends and we had to hide it, then you’re mistaken.” Zelo ordered, his voice shaking as Zico pressed sloppy kisses across his cheeks and nose. “I’m going to change my relationship status on Facebook and there’s going to be a picture of the two of us up and I don’t care if anyone gets mad.”
“Good.” Zico grinned as he headed up the street towards the park. “Just make sure I don’t look fat in it, okay? My left side is my good side. Oh and my mom’s been asking when she could meet you so you’re coming to dinner tomorrow. Dress nice.”
Zelo had to wait a second before all of that sunk in, but when it did he paled and ran to catch up with his boyfriend. “What? Your mom? Tomorrow? Zico! Zico, don’t you run away from me!”
Rated: M
Length: 7.7K
The Second Best Thing
I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep
Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen (x)
The lips pressed against his were thick and soft and so slick with whiskey that Zelo thought he could get drunk off the kisses alone. The only thing keeping his mind above water was the knowledge that his older brother was asleep just down the hall and could wake up at any moment.
“Sorry we got back so late.” Zico’s tongue was thick with the alcohol and his words were slurry against Zelo’s mouth. “I tried to get him to leave two hours ago but your brother is a mean drunk.”
Zelo didn’t care that it was three in the morning and he had work the next day, or that he had stayed up practically all night waiting for the two to stumble in completely wasted from their evening at the bar. When Zico had suggested he might be able to sneak an invitation to stay over from his brother Zelo was hesitant. What if Yongguk woke up and they were caught? What if Zico came back to the apartment smelling like perfume and covered in lipstick?
“It’s okay.” He let out a deep breath as Zico’s lips slid clumsily across his skin and over his jaw. “You’re here now.”
“Yeah.” Zico chuckled as he flattened his body overtop of Zelo’s, hips grinding down until he had the younger boy’s whines growing steadily louder. “I’m here now.”
---
“You look like shit.” Zelo whistled cheerily to himself the next morning when he entered the kitchen and saw his brother looking like death warmed over at the table.
Yongguk groaned and dropped his head into his arms. “Shut the fuck up before I punch you in the face.”
Zico stumbled into the kitchen with bleary eyes and furrowed brows. “Don’t be rude, Guk. His face is too pretty to punch.”
The grimace on Yongguk’s lips shot down the spike of happiness Zico’s words had given him. Zelo had been trying to get along with his brother for months now, just because Zico asked him to but he wasn’t getting anywhere. The nicer he acted the ruder Yongguk became. It was like he was angry at him for something but Zelo still didn’t know what it was. They had never really been close but they had at least managed to get along in the past. Now Yongguk was verging on homicidal towards him.
“I have to drop Junhong off at work so you need to head out.” Yongguk told Zico frostily.
With a chuckle and a smirk Zico merely nodded and pulled himself up from the table. “See you later, Guk.” He turned towards Zelo and gave him a wink. “Bye Zelo.”
When he left Yongguk let out a sigh and turned his glare towards his brother. “Way to keep it in your pants, Junhong.”
“W-What?” Zelo sputtered, his eyes widening with horror. Had his brother discovered them after all?
“You practically drool every time Zico gets near you.” Yongguk’s face twisted up in disgust. “It’s pathetic, Junhong. That boy is too old for you and he’s not good enough.”
He didn’t catch the slight compliment Yongguk gave him, only hearing the other meaning in his words. “Zico is your friend. What would he think if he heard you saying all these rude things about him?”
With a laugh Yongguk shook his head and grabbed a muffin before he left the table. “I only call it like I see it. He may be my friend but I sure as hell don’t want my dick anywhere near him. He’ll sleep with anything that smiles at him. God knows what I’d catch.”
He left before he could see the stricken expression on Zelo’s face.
“What?” He mumbled, his reaction delayed, but Yongguk was already gone. “He what?”
---
12:37 pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Hey, sorry I had to leave so early. I’ll see you when you get off work though!
-
4:33pm
To Zelo
From Zico
You got off at 4, right? It’s 4:30 where are you at?
-
5:02pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Zelo where are you???
-
Zelo watched the text messages pile up on his phone with a grimace. It took Zico almost two hours and six texts to realize that he wasn’t meeting him at their spot and wasn’t going to tell him why.
-
5:56 pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry just tell me what it is. Please talk to me.
-
He wanted to see him, wanted Zico to tell him Yongguk was wrong and that he didn’t know what he was talking about, but would he believe him? Would he be able to trust what Zico told him?
And if he didn’t then what did that mean? It would be the end of them and Zelo wasn’t ready for that yet.
Work had passed by feeling like days while he sat at the library desk and robotically checked books in and out. Usually he enjoyed his job. It wasn’t something he had ever seen himself doing but when his mother had mentioned there was an opening at the library and his aunt, the head librarian, was worried no one would want it, he begged for the chance to apply. It would not only give him some extra money but he also now had a built in excuse to leave the house and meet with Zico. It was getting harder and harder to find random reasons to get out, what with Yongguk eying him every chance he got. Now he could work on the weekends for six hours or so and then meet Zico in the park on his way home. The arrangement had worked perfectly for the last six months. This was the first time Zelo had completely ignored him.
Good, he sneered to himself. Let Zico be the one to wonder all the time what I’m doing. Every Friday and Saturday night when his brother would run off to meet him at the dance club and Yongguk would come home completely covered in the smell of perfume and alcohol, Zelo had gone to bed with shaking hands wondering what Zico smelled like.
-
6:31pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Fine. I’m coming over.
-
He shot out of his bed and let out a strangled cry at the last text. Yongguk was home and Zico would have known that, was he really going to be stupid and show up at their door? He needed to get out and meet him outside so Yongguk never knew he was even there. Both of their parents had gone out for the evening so at least they wouldn’t witness Yongguk beating him to a tiny pulp.
“I’m going out!” He tried to put a cheery face on, lips stretched wide and eyes scary and possibly twitching. “Be back in a little bit.”
“Where are you going?”
Dammit, he didn’t have that part of the plan worked out yet. “Just… Just to the convenience store. I need some soda.”
His brother pointed to the fridge with an eyebrow raised. “There’s some in there. I just got it.” He held up a soda can and shook it to emphasize his point.
“But I want root beer!” Zelo blurted, edging towards the door. “I’m the only one that drinks it so we never have any.”
Yongguk’s jaw ticked and Zelo knew he was done for. “Alright.” He shrugged and turned back towards the baseball game on the TV. “Be back in twenty minutes.”
Zelo was frozen for a moment as he tried to understand what had just happened. His brother had just given him the okay to leave the house, something that had never happened before.
He ran into his room and grabbed his wallet off the dresser and was back by the front door shoving his shoes on in less than four seconds. “See you later!” His voice was probably high and squeaky, but now was not the time to think about it.
“What happened?”
Zico was already standing on the other side of the door when he had it wrenched open. The older boy’s eyes were manic with worry, his hands grabbing Zelo and patting him down for injuries. “Are you alright? Where were you?” He sagged with relief and jerked Zelo forward into his arms.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Zico was suddenly ripped away from him and slammed against the kitchen wall, Yongguk furious face pressed against his. “I’ve told you before. Do not touch. My. Brother.”
“Put him down!” Zelo grabbed at Yongguk’s arms and tried to pull him away but Yongguk held on tightly. He could see Zico’s face starting to pale from lack of air and he did the only thing he could think of.
“Christ!” Yongguk dropped Zico in a heap on the floor and grabbed for the back of his knee where Zelo had kicked him as hard as he could. “That hurt!”
Zelo jumped in between the two boys and stared his brother down. “And now I’m telling you. Do not touch Zico.” He didn’t care if Zico was seeing other people behind his back, didn’t worry about the ramifications of his actions, all he was wanting was Zico’s safety.
Yongguk looked between them with growing awareness. “Junhong… Junhong what did you do?”
An arm was wrapped around his waist with Zico’s smirking face popping up over his shoulder. “He didn’t do anything wrong, Guk. We’ve been seeing each other.”
And that was all Zelo remembered for the next ten minutes. There was screaming, there was punches thrown, there was blood covering skin, so much blood he thought to himself later as he washed his clothes for the third time.
Finally, only after the two older boys were exhausted and collapsed on the ground did Yongguk deliver the knockout blow.
“I’m going to tell mom and dad.”
His lip curled as he looked at Zelo like he didn’t even know him anymore. “You’ve fucked up this time, Junhong. And with Zico? Out of all the people in the world you pick the only one I asked you to stay away from? Do you even like him? And you!” Yongguk turned to Zico and his body stiffened in anger again. “My baby brother? You could have anyone you wanted. Hell, you have had everyone you wanted. Is this to get back at me for something? I pissed you off somewhere along the line and you decide to seduce my goddamned brother as repayment?”
Zico shook his head, wincing at the pain it gave him. “No. I like him, Yongguk. I want to be with him. Just him.”
“Bullshit.” Yongguk pulled himself to his feet and staggered to the door. “Junhong wouldn’t want a damn thing to do with you if he knew the things you do every weekend. Tell him then. Tell him every single thing you’ve done in the last three years that we’ve been friends.”
They waited for Zico to speak up but he couldn’t lift his eyes off his lap.
“Zico? What’s he talking about?” Zelo bit his tongue hard enough to taste blood. “Please?”
The blonde hair that Zico had been sporting for the last eight months hid the deep set eyes that Junhong thought he had trusted. “I can’t.” He lifted his head and silently pleaded with Zelo to forgive him as he grabbed at the counter to pull himself up. “Zelo I never wanted to have to tell you those things, but they were all before we slept together, I pro-“
He was cut off with a furious roar as Yongguk found the strength to give him one last right hook to the eye before he was shoved out of the apartment into the hallway.
“If I catch you anywhere near my brother again, I will pull your arms off with my bare hands. If I catch you trying to call him, text him, meet with him, any contact at all, I will cut your tongue out with a butter knife. From this moment on you don’t even know the name Junhong.” Yongguk warned.
Zico was still staring at only Zelo, begging him to listen but he had heard enough. He could already feel his heart breaking and Zico’s wet eyes and hoarse voice begging him to listen wasn’t helping.
“Leave me alone. Both of you, just leave me alone.” He slammed the front door shut and ignored his brother’s angry questions that were shot at his back. Locking himself in his room and turning his iPod up to full volume was the only way he could get the sound of Zico’s voice cracking as he asked him for forgiveness out of his head.
He wanted Zico’s palm against his, wanted the way he would braid them together and kiss each of Zelo’s fingertips one by one.
“Three months.” Zico pulled him back into the trees where no one visiting the park would be able to see them. “That’s how long it’s been since you seduced me over a box a pizza.”
“Hey!” Zelo playfully shoved him against a tree and slapped at his grabbing hands. “There was no seducing involved, thank you very much. You were ready for the taking.”
He was spun around, his back against the tree and Zico’s hands covering his hips. “I just couldn’t resist a slutty boy pretending to be drunk just to get in my pants.” Laughter vibrated against Zelo’s neck as Zico nipped at it. “Baby, I’m only human.”
The pet name still sent a thrill of emotion through Zelo’s chest even though he had heard it almost every day since they had started seeing each other.
He liked to think it was just used for him, but now? Now he wasn’t sure about anything.
---
There were no attempts to contact him for the rest of the night. He kind of wanted Zico to beg, wanted him to at least pretend that he cared about more than sex from him. But he never called, he never texted and Zelo assumed that was it. Zico was just a small six month part of his life and he would just have to get over him. Eventually. Maybe?
“Are we never going to do this in a bed again?” Zico laughed breathlessly as he tugged on the bottom of Zelo’s shirt, helping it over his head. “Not gonna lie, you look pretty damn nice covered in leaves and dirt.” He dropped down to his elbows and bit gently against Zelo’s sharp ribs. “But I know this has to hurt your back.”
Zelo wasn’t listening to the words coming out of his mouth anymore. All he could concentrate on was the dull teeth scraping against his rib bones and the knee that was slowly, way too slowly grinding against him.
“Zelooo?” The bastard knew his touches turned Zelo into a ball of jelly, but he always found it amusing to keep dragging angry strangled gasps out of his lips until he had Zelo snapping and ordering him to do exactly what he wanted. “You’re so gorgeous like this, baby.” Fingers found the snap to his jeans and expertly undid it, yanking them down his thighs so he could bury his face against Zelo’s faded green boxers. “So responsive.” He murmured when Zelo’s hips jerked up on their own and his whines of Zico’s name grew so loud that Zico had to slap a palm over his mouth. “I’m sorry baby, but it’s the middle of the day. There are kids around.”
He didn’t remember anything else from that day but the slow drag of Zico’s tongue and the way his blonde hair felt sliding through his fingers and the taste of himself on Zico’s lips as he kissed him senseless before they parted.
Did Zico remember any of their moments, Zelo wondered as he left the library the next day. Did he replay them in his mind over and over when they were apart throughout the week?
Because of Yongguk they never got to see each other on weekdays, only occasional text messages when he knew his brother wouldn’t get suspicious. But on Saturday and Sunday they could spend however long they wanted together after work. Sometimes Zelo wouldn’t arrive home until nightfall and all he had to do was tell his mother they were busy at work and she believed him no question. Was Zico one person when they were together and another completely different one when apart?
“Zelo?”
He immediately flinched and ignored the boy waiting by the exit, striding urgently towards his bus stop.
“Zelo, please just- Baby, listen!”
The sweet name made his throat close and he had to fight to force down the whimper building up. “Go away.” He didn’t bother looking as he crossed the street and ignored the screeching tires and horns honking as he made his way to the other side.
Zico finally caught up and grabbed at his arm, forcing him to turn around. “Please just listen to me, Zelo!”
“How many people have you slept with?” Zico’s eyes widened and he took a step back at the unexpected question. “Since your first time, how many do you think there’s been?”
He could tell it was more than the other boy wanted to admit to by the wince in his expression.
“A lot.” Zico finally whispered in reply. “But you knew how I was before your brother fucked everything up, you knew what type of person I used to be!”
Zelo scoffed and turned away again, letting his feet take over. “Used to be, huh. That’s rich, Zico. That’s damn rich. Maybe I’ll go sleep with dozens of people too then. Boys, girls, whatever. If I never mattered to you, why should you matter to me?”
He heard a growl behind him before Zico jumped in front of him and blocked the sidewalk. “I swear to god if you let anyone else touch you…”
“You’ll what?” Zelo leaned closer to him and smirked. Two could play at being cool. He had grown up long enough with his uncaring brother to know how to hide his true emotions. “I don’t think you’ll do a thing. I think you just enjoyed messing with a sixteen year old boy’s feelings and that’s why you played with me for so long. Well guess what, I’m not sixteen anymore and I’m not going to sit at home all week waiting for you to text me when you’re out doing god knows what with god knows who.”
“Stop.” Zico clenched his jaw and rolled it back and forth while he visibly forced himself to calm down. “Whatever your brother did to make you hate me, it shouldn’t work. It cann’t work because you know how I feel about you. Baby please-”
“You fuck me.” Zelo pulled his phone out and pretended to look through it with a bored expression. All the while his heart was racing and he knew he was about two minutes away from throwing himself into Zico’s arms and begging him to take him back. “And you pretend to like me because all of this is a game. Congratulations Zico, you win. I quit. Leave me alone.”
He managed to walk away without making a fool of himself by crying all over Zico’s sweatshirt or tripping because he couldn’t see out of his spilling over eyes.
This time Zico didn’t follow him.
***
“I brought you supper.” Zico proudly held out two boxes of takeout and a threadbare red picnic blanket. “I know you don’t normally eat till later but I never get to take you out.”
Both of their cheeks were flushed with red as they settled down on the blanket and opened their boxes. Zico scooted closer so that his arm could easily drape over Zelo’s thigh. He squeezed it gently before turning his concentration back to his noodles.
“Good?” He asked nervously, grinning brightly at Zelo’s quick nod. “I wish we could go eat at a real restaurant. And not hide in the damn woods like criminals.”
Zelo hummed innocently as he placed his box to the side and grabbed Zico’s doing the same to his. “Yeah, but if we were out in public and I wanted to kiss you I couldn’t do it.” He shoved Zico’s back to the blanket and quickly climbed over top of him. Zico’s tongue was hot from the spices in his food, but it just made Zelo imagine it hot and sticky and wet on his skin and he moaned involuntarily in his mouth.
“Damn…” Zico managed to push the needy boy up and off so he could catch his breath and lick across his swollen lips. “I gotta breathe, baby.” He panted, smiling breathlessly up at him. “Okay enough breathing time, c’mere.” His hand curled into the soft hairs at the nape of Zelo’s neck and he pulled him back down, lips gently catching with his own. He was more experienced at this and knew just how to flick his tongue and move his lips at just the right speed to make Zelo dizzy with want.
“I love the sounds you make when I kiss you.” Zico flipped them over grabbed at Zelo’s leg, hitching it up over his hip, rocking into him once, twice, until he had Zelo’s hips stuttering against his own, small mewls and whiny chants of his name against his mouth. “I want to make love to you all night, baby. Until the stars are out and the moon light shines on your skin and I’m all you can think about.”
Zelo cried out, his eyes scrunching shut tightly. His back arched off the ground and his fingers scrambled against Zico’s back as he begged for more.
Later, when he was coming down from his high, he thought he had heard Zico whispering against his skin as he left his mark in places no one would ever see, but it was just a passing thought before the thought of payback entered his head and then he was chasing after Zico’s lips and he was wrist deep in the other’s jeans and his name sounded so good rolling off of those thick lips and he forgot all about the deep words he thought he had heard.
***
He watched his coworker from across the library. The new boy had only been working there for a few weeks but he was already a better worker than half the other college students they hired during the school year. He was also pretty sure the new boy was into him, if the blatant flirting and shameless touching were any indications. When he had Zico waiting for him after every shift he had ignored everyone else.
But now he wanted to play.
“Youngjae!” He pouted his bottom lip out and pointed to his computer. “My screen is freezing again. Can you fix it?”
The smile that spread across the other boy’s face almost made him feel guilty for what he was doing, but not enough to stop. Zico was doing whatever he wanted to now and so was he.
Youngjae rushed over and needlessly leaned over Zelo’s shoulder, his chest flat against him. “You must have hit a button and readjusted the colors.” He pressed forward a little and fiddled with the buttons on the bottom of the screen that Zelo had played with before calling him over. “Easy fix.” He leaned back and gave him the chubby cheeked grin that Zelo had heard the girl working in the poetry section moaning about in the break room.
“Thanks.” He knew he had a smile the girls went crazy for, too. The dimples were what his mother called his lady killers. And just like drawing bees to honey he had Youngjae’s eyes dropping to look at them and getting trapped. “I’ve just been so distracted lately and I must have messed it up. I’m such an idiot.”
“No, no, don’t worry about it.” Youngjae placed his hand on his shoulder and rubbed gentle circles into it, letting his fingers slip under the hem a couple times. The feeling of someone else touching his skin was new and had Zelo wincing uncomfortable. Maybe he shouldn’t do this after all. He wanted to get revenge on Zico, but not like this. Not when the thought of someone else touching him made him want to throw up. Not when he could smell Youngjae’s cologne and it was too much, too different, too soon.
“Do you want to go out sometime?” He didn’t mean to be so forward but this wasn’t really a well thought out plan to begin with and sometimes you had to just roll with it. “With me?”
Youngjae tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You’re asking me on a date?”
Oh shit, Zelo thought to himself in a panic. Maybe Youngjae wasn’t into boys, maybe he was just an overly friendly person and he had read too much into it.
“Yes?”
After a few more long, crippling seconds of silence, Youngjae finally nodded. “Sure.”
“R-Really?” Zelo licked his lips, not noticing the way Youngjae’s eyes locked onto them when he did. “Great!”
“Next Saturday good? I get off about an hour before you do. I can wait?”
He nodded, worried if they waited too much longer then he would get nervous and back out. “Okay.”
That day he left work with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step as he thought about a date with Youngjae. He had no physical interest in him, but he would know that this was to get back at Zico and that’s all that mattered.
“You look happy.” Zico’s suspicious voice rang out behind him as he passed the exit, causing him to stop in his tracks and spin around wildly. “Should I be worried?”
“What do you want?” Zelo tapped his foot impatiently and hated that the older boy had worn his loose tank top, the same one that he had been wearing their first night together. He could still remember how he had been dying to touch his tattoos and feel how soft his skin was and-
Zico jumped forward suddenly and trapped him between his arms, so close that Zelo could look down and see straight into his shirt. “I’ve been texting you all week, why won’t you just tell me what you want? Just tell me what I can do and I’ll do it, just come back to me!”
“Go away.” He pushed weakly at Zico’s chest, not sure if he wanted to pull him closer or run far away. “I have a date next weekend, I’m done with you.”
His words cut off as Zico’s lips slammed into his own, pressing so firmly they hurt and he couldn’t breathe. The taste of cigarettes was on his tongue and Zelo couldn’t even fight as it nudged lovingly at his own.
“Zelo…” Zico mouthed at his jaw and his voice was so raw sounding that it hit him like a punch in the heart. “Baby, I lo-“
“No.” His lips were numb as he spoke and he finally got Zico at a manageable distance. “Stop. It’s not enough for you to break my heart by using me and sleeping with everything you could get your hands on, but now you want to just completely crush me?” He took a deep breath and looked at Zico with steely eyes. “If you come near me again then I’m going to tell Yongguk.”
They both knew what Yongguk would do to Zico if he caught him going behind his back again. Even if they used to be best friends that was all over the second he found out his best friend was sleeping with his little brother. As far as Zelo knew they weren’t even talking anymore.
“Yongguk has nothing to do with this.” Zico tried again to win him over. “It’s between you and me, Zelo. My heart, your heart. I know you love m-“ He groaned as Zelo’s fist made contact with his jaw. The bruises from Yongguk were still colored dully on his skin and Zelo almost felt bad at how much it had to have hurt.
“I don’t love whores.” He told him flatly.
***
“Do you ever get tired of meeting me after work every weekend?” Zelo leaned his back against Zico’s chest and let the other boy cradle him closer, palm warm under his t-shirt. “You’re always waiting for me when I get off. Even when I’m early you’re still already here.”
Zico’s laughter vibrated against his back. “I’m eager.” He admitted, stroking the soft skin under his belly button. “I usually get here an hour before you’re off just in case.”
“Don’t you have stuff to do? Friends you had to leave?”
“Not really.” Zico shrugged and tried to distract him by scraping his teeth lightly across his earlobe. “I see you and then I go home until it’s time to meet your brother. He’s usually drunk an hour after we get there and I stay for a couple hours then leave. Keep up appearances. It’s important to make him believe I’m not hiding anything.”
He never did like Zico going to those clubs with his brother. Yongguk always came home with the stench of desperation and with pockets filled to the brim with phone numbers written in lipstick. He wondered what Zico did for those three hours every Saturday when Zelo wasn’t around.
“Do you get drunk, too?” He asked nonchalantly, tracing his name across Zico’s arm.
Zico hummed in reply as he moved sideways on the bench so he could pull Zelo further up his chest. “Sometimes.”
Zelo nodded, already able to picture the steady stream of girls that strolled past him, ready to pounce at the slightest indication it was wanted. Or what if it was boys? Girls he could understand Zico being attracted to. They were different than what he had with him, something new. But if Zico was with boys every weekend after he had just been with him then Zelo didn’t know how to take that.
“I have a few drinks, I smoke some cigarettes with my friends then I go home.” Zico whispered patiently into his ear. “Trust me, Zelo.”
Trust. Not a word Zelo had ever been familiar with.
***
7:48am
To Zelo
From Zico
I know you’re probably halfway to school right now and drinking orange juice and trying to read whatever was assigned in Science because you hate that class and you never do your work on time. I know this because I know you, Zelo. I know your routines. Just like you know the real me. Don’t do this.
-
3:12pm
To Zelo
From Zico
And now you’re probably at the comic book store because it’s Monday and Monday is new shipment day. I miss you.
-
9:47pm
To Zelo
From Zico
Goodnight baby.
-
“If I wanted to change my cell phone number how would I do that?” He tried to ask the question casually, but his brother’s sharp ears caught everything.
Their mother narrowed her eyes at her youngest son. “Is there a particular reason you want to change your number, Junhong?”
He shook his head. “Just getting some calls from people wanting me to donate to them or buy stuff.”
Yongguk sat back in his seat and held a hand out. “I can make it so that only numbers in your contact list can get through. Give me your phone.”
Zico’s texts and numerous photos of the two of them were on his phone. “No, that’s okay.” He patted his pocket and made sure it was still tucked in snugly. “I don’t want to have to go to that extreme. I’ll just keep telling them to stop calling.” A wiser person would delete all traces of evidence of their six month relationship. But Zelo wasn’t quite ready for that yet. Sometimes he could flip through his photos and see just how much Zico cared about him and it simultaneously hurt him deeper and lightened his chest.
He left for school with downcast eyes and a frown, another thing Yongguk caught.
“Junhong, wait.” Yongguk rushed towards him and waited for the elevator side by side with him. “Is he still trying to get ahold of you?”
Zelo sighed. His head hurt, his heart hurt, everything on him just hurt and it had all started when his brother had tried to mess with his head and turn him against Zico. “I’m fine.”
“No you’re not.” Yongguk stopped the elevator. His lips were thinned as he looked over his brother. Zelo had lost weight in the last week and a half, his cheeks were gaunt and dark circles covered the bottom of his eyes. “I swear to god I will kill him.”
It was a mistake to go to school today, Zelo realized. He should have stayed in bed and slept it off for the next few days.
“You don’t know anything.” His tired eyes darted towards his brothers and he wanted to slap the cocky expression right off his lips. “You know nothing about what’s wrong with me.”
“I know that little bastard is harassing you.” Yongguk pulled his phone out of his pocket and angrily punched buttons. “I’ll tell him to meet me then I’ll show him what happens when you mess with my little brother.”
Zelo pushed him so hard against the side of the elevator that the phone flew across the small room. “You’ve already done enough don’t you think? Did you ever stop to think that maybe I was happy with Zico? That maybe I cared about him, that he cared about me?”
Another know it all shake of his brother’s head. “You don’t know Zico like I do, Junhong. A few phone calls of him sweet talking you is nothing new, then after a couple weeks he gets bored and moves o-“
“Six months.” Zelo dropped him to the floor and pressed his fist against his lips. He wanted to throw up, wanted to cry, he just wanted Zico. “We’ve been dating for six months.”
“W-What?” His brother paled. “That’s not possible. Zico never dates anyone for more than a month.”
He laughed humorously. “That party you had. Where he brought everyone over and you locked me in my room all night.” Yongguk’s face reddened with anger but Zelo just didn’t even care anymore. “I love him, Yongguk.”
The phone in his pocket beeped right on schedule, just as it had been doing all week. “That’s him telling me good morning. When I get out of school he’ll tell me he hoped I had a good day. At night he texts that he misses me and he hopes I sleep well.” He shakily wiped his cheeks clean of the wetness that had been spilling down them. “If he’s just using me then what are those, Yongguk? Why does he meet me after work on the weekends just to go sit in the park and do absolutely nothing half the time? Why does he tell me he’s perfectly happy holding my hand, that he doesn’t need to have sex every time we see each other to feel close to me?”
Yongguk kept shaking his head, unable to believe the things his brother was saying. “But you don’t… You don’t know what he used to be like Zelo!”
“A whore? He used to sleep with everyone? He doesn’t have to paint me a picture to know those things, you tell me about it every chance you get.”
“Does he tell you about the alcohol? The drugs? Does he tell you he was sent to the hospital last year when he overdosed?”
Of course Zelo didn’t know that. And he didn’t need to. Zico didn’t have to spell it out for him to know that he wasn’t proud of the person he used to be. This must have been what had happened the past year that Zico never wanted to talk about. “When was the last time you saw him doing drugs? Or leaving with someone?”
Yongguk frowned and his eyes unfocused as he thought hard. He obviously couldn’t remember and it was pissing him off.
“Maybe you can’t remember because he doesn’t do those things anymore.” Zelo supplied gently. “The Zico you know isn’t the Zico I know.” He pressed the start button and the elevator buzzed to life again. The door opened before Yongguk could reply, but there was nothing else he could say that Zelo wanted to hear. “I just wish I knew why you hated me so much that you had to take away the one thing that I loved.”
***
“I think I want to go back to school.” Zico was quiet and he nervously played with a stray string on the sleeve of Zelo’s hoodie. “Like take some college classes and see how it goes.”
Zelo knew this was a big deal for Zico. He didn’t know the details of what happened, but Zico had mentioned he had left school the year before and never went back.
“That sounds good.” He murmured back sleepily, his face so warm and safe enclosed in the crook of Zico’s neck. “What about me?”
The other boy chuckled and tipped Zelo’s chin back. “There’s no weekend classes, don’t worry baby. Weekends are Zelo days, that’s just a given.” He kissed him softly and slowly until Zelo couldn’t breathe and had to pull away with a pant. “You really think I’m going to let anything get in the way of my Zelo days?”
***
Yongguk didn’t speak to him about Zico again, but Zelo could feel his brother’s eyes on his back every time he had to walk through the apartment.
Finally, only when Saturday rolled around again and he got dressed for work did he remember his date with Youngjae tonight. He groaned under his breath and slapped his forehead at his stupidness for doing what he did. The only reason he had flirted so shamelessly was because he knew Zico would be waiting for him and he wanted to rub it in his face that he had already moved on. But he hadn’t moved on and he had zero interest in dating Youngjae.
“I need your help.” There was only one thing he could think of to do that would get him out of his date, but it was the very last thing he ever wanted to ask for.
Yongguk raised an eyebrow. “Go on.” He laid his book to the side and raised an eyebrow.
“I have a date with someone from work.” He ignored Yongguk’s wince and hurriedly continued. “I only made it because I was mad and I really, really don’t want to go. Can you pull some of your normal psychotic protective brother shit and make it go away?”
He caught a flash of hurt in his brother’s eyes but didn’t dwell on it. This was the time for his own problems, he didn’t care about Yongguk’s.
“What do you want me to do?”
Zelo sagged with relief. A part of him was worried it was just Zico that Yongguk had a problem with but now he understood it was just all potential dates.
“I get off at four. Wait for us outside and throw one of your hissy fits and convince him that dating me is too much of a hassle.” Zelo sneered as he walked away. “That’s what you’re good at, right?”
***
Youngjae was more handsy than usual that day, if that was even possible. He used every excuse possible to touch Zelo and run his hands across him, a bright innocent smile every time.
“I thought we’d go to a movie for our date tonight.” He suggested as he gathered up the returned books and separated them according to section. It usually took about ten minutes but the older boy had spent the last twenty minutes doing it as slowly as possible to keep talking to Zelo. “It’s a scary one, but you can hold on to me if you feel scared.” His wink before he walked away made Zelo’s skin crawl. How could he ever think that was a good idea? Youngjae was overall a nice person, albeit a little creepy, but he shouldn’t have led him on like this.
When he got off work he wasn’t sure if Yongguk would be there or not. Youngjae had brought his schoolwork in with him and worked on it while he waited, eyes catching Zelo’s occasionally to throw him another grin and wink.
“Junhong.” He almost cried with happiness when he heard Yongguk’s voice ring out behind them as they exited the library. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Youngjae’s arm across his shoulders tightened possessively as he stared down the stranger trying to interrupt their date. “Can we help you?”
His arm was removed as Yongguk grabbed Zelo and pulled him away. “That’s my baby brother you’re groping.” He told him stonily. “Come on Junhong, it’s time to go home now.”
He squeezed Yongguk’s hand in thanks and started to follow him, but a grip on his other wrist stopped him. “I think Zelo and I had a date tonight. And I don’t remember him telling me he had a guard dog.”
Oh Youngjae… Zelo said a quick prayer for his life as he watched Yongguk’s face change colors from pink to red to purple.
“Junhong has a boyfriend already.” He blurted.
That stopped both of them in their tracks.
“He does?”
“I do?”
Yongguk grimaced and pointed behind them. “Lesser of the two evils.” He muttered under his breath.
Zelo turned around to see Zico watching them, eyes on the harsh way Youngjae was holding on to Zelo’s wrist. “I believe that wrist belongs to me.” He spoke up quietly. His glare turned from their hands to Youngjae’s face, fists tightening as he stormed forwards.
With a groan of displeasure Youngjae dropped his arm and took a step backwards. “Look kid, I thought you were cute but this is ridiculous.” He waved goodbye and left, leaving Zelo in between Yongguk and Zico.
“Hey.” Zico smiled cautiously and took another step towards them. “I missed you baby.”
Yongguk gagged at the sweet talk and held his hands in the air. “I don’t like this.” He told them sternly. “I don’t think either of you are right for each other and to be honest, the knowledge that my baby brother is gay is messed the fuck up.” He rubbed a palm over his face and took a deep breath. “But seeing him wasting away because he’s hurting is worse.” Gentle eyes caught Zelo’s. “I care about you more than I care about anyone, Junhong. I’m sorry that the way I show it is by keeping you wrapped up in a bubble, but I just don’t want you to get hurt. It seems like no matter what I do you just keep sinking lower and lower and I have to start letting you make your own decisions. I’m sorry.”
He had never talked to him like this and Zelo felt guilty for all of the horrible things he had said or done to him over the years.
“I’ll tell you everything you want to know, Zelo.” Zico said softly behind him. “Every single bit if it means you’ll trust me again.”
This conversation was making his head spin. “I don’t want to know it.” He prodded at the furrow between his brows and wished he had some headache medicine. “I trusted you, Zico. You should know that.”
“Then why did you let your brother turn you against me?” Zico spun him around and cradled his cheeks softly in his hands. “If you know I wouldn’t hurt you then why did you push me away? You ignored all of my texts, you walked away from me when I tried to talk to you!”
“Because it’s tiring listening to him tell me how stupid I am every day!” Zelo yelled angrily. “He tells me you do horrible things and even though I know you wouldn’t, it’s really fucking frustrating to hear them all the time, over and over! I just want to be with you and not have to worry about hiding it and pretending we don’t have any sort of relationship and I just want to be able to tell you I love you!”
Yongguk made an awkward coughing sound and excused himself. “And that’s my queue to go. I won’t interfere anymore. I promise.”
Zico smiled as he swept Zelo’s bangs out of his face. “You love me?”
“Sometimes.” Zelo pouted back, pushing his bottom lip out and looking anywhere but at Zico.
“I love you, too.”
He stiffened when Zico’s lips were suddenly on his. They were in the middle of town, they couldn’t do this, what if someone they knew saw? But then Zico was wrapping his arms around his waist and holding him like he was glass and he was mouthing how much he missed him over and over and Zelo didn’t care anymore.
“If you think this is going to be like last time though, where we only got to see each other on the weekends and we had to hide it, then you’re mistaken.” Zelo ordered, his voice shaking as Zico pressed sloppy kisses across his cheeks and nose. “I’m going to change my relationship status on Facebook and there’s going to be a picture of the two of us up and I don’t care if anyone gets mad.”
“Good.” Zico grinned as he headed up the street towards the park. “Just make sure I don’t look fat in it, okay? My left side is my good side. Oh and my mom’s been asking when she could meet you so you’re coming to dinner tomorrow. Dress nice.”
Zelo had to wait a second before all of that sunk in, but when it did he paled and ran to catch up with his boyfriend. “What? Your mom? Tomorrow? Zico! Zico, don’t you run away from me!”