Same story...
Well this story ends as many have before. I was out with Amanda and Amy last night at the bar. Over the course of the evening I realized that she would never be with me the way that I want her to be. She is simply content to take whatever she may from me when she wants. It's funny how when it comes to matters of the heart nobody ever listens to the wisdom given in friendly advice and warning from those closest to them. They were all right, I should have known better. That happens to everyone though I think. I am not sure really if anyone really ever could simply take that kind of advice without first experiencing the truth for themselves. As if you place that person on a pedistal in your heart and refuse to allow anyone to knock them down, except for yourself. It was nice though while it lasted, and who knows what may come in this life or the next.
Surprisingly optomistic words. Not really completely honest to my true feelings though. I am angry. In fact I haven't been this mad in a long time. To tell the truth I am not even sure if I am angry at her. I think I am mad at myself for not seeing this coming yet again. How many times in life must we pay for our mistakes in a reciprocle(bad spelling?) manner? What pentence must be paid before all will be well again?
Going out to the gym in a few to play some raquetteball with my dad and work off some of this aggression and anger. I think I need to break out the sparring pads and get a little heavier workout though.
On a small bright note. I am hanging out with Trish tomorrow. We are probably going to get something to eat and then hunt for a certain person to make them feel stupid. Oh well. She has grown into quite the woman! She seems really nice and I have to admit she has become really beautiful.
I think I am taking a job with Party City, about 97% sure of it. Assistant Store Manager, sounds okay I guess. Getting ready for the MCOLES for the police academy. I wish it was sooner than January but I guess the time will pass quickly enough.
Hoobastank - The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Surprisingly optomistic words. Not really completely honest to my true feelings though. I am angry. In fact I haven't been this mad in a long time. To tell the truth I am not even sure if I am angry at her. I think I am mad at myself for not seeing this coming yet again. How many times in life must we pay for our mistakes in a reciprocle(bad spelling?) manner? What pentence must be paid before all will be well again?
Going out to the gym in a few to play some raquetteball with my dad and work off some of this aggression and anger. I think I need to break out the sparring pads and get a little heavier workout though.
On a small bright note. I am hanging out with Trish tomorrow. We are probably going to get something to eat and then hunt for a certain person to make them feel stupid. Oh well. She has grown into quite the woman! She seems really nice and I have to admit she has become really beautiful.
I think I am taking a job with Party City, about 97% sure of it. Assistant Store Manager, sounds okay I guess. Getting ready for the MCOLES for the police academy. I wish it was sooner than January but I guess the time will pass quickly enough.
Hoobastank - The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you