friendship
i really hate these damned online physics problems. i do everything short of laundry to get away from doing them.
tangent: hierarchy of procrastination (reverse order, i guess):
waking up
laundry
making my bed
organizing music (except making playlists)
physics homework
reading/ studying
studying for a test
writing a paper
going to sleep
cleaning
taking a nap
browsing the internet
that was entertaining.
my english teacher is a god damned genius. he has 4 b.a.'s (nearly got a fifth), 2 m.a.'s, and of course a ph.d. he also has parkinson's (i'm fairly sure), so i guess that's what you get for trying too hard. he is a really good teacher though.
twaji and i seem to always share an observaton about someone everytime we meet. it's kinda funny how accurately we pin down certain character's mannerisms. today, though, he hit me with one about me. apparently, i throw statistics in my normal dialect all the time. i was not aware of this. i thought about it and still am unsure about this. anyway, it's always a strange sensation to be told how i am, even if it's the most minor of details. maybe it's just the reality of being confronted with what i really am, as opposed to what i think i am. i mean i'm quite aware that i never come off the way i intend, but that, too, makes me self conscious. it's just a weird, annoying feeling to be aware of oneself. and then you begin to feel like every one of your actions is a reaction to that one accusation. or maybe i'm just silly.
i feel like far too often i'm losing thoughts.
it's really weird how fragile our friendships really are. college, i feel, makes this painfully obvious. the people i hang out with has changed fairly drastically, year to year. it just doesn't feel right. time and distance command such power to dissolve everything we work so hard to achieve. you would think that there are ties out there that are stronger than this, and there are, but why are they so rare? surely we all desire more strong friends, but why do we always allow everything to fall apart. and why are some friendships so hard to pick back up, while others dont even seem to notice years without use. in my mind, i may find it impossible to believe that things can change and ties can be lost. it just doesn't make sense. neither does this paragraph, but i'm trying to reclaim a lost thought.
it's just so strange that being close at one time is such a far cry from a guarantee of any continued closeness. i mean if it mattered so much at one point, why does it not matter in the future? how can we so easily toss aside things that we care about? i would hate to think that the reason that friends are friends is because they already are... a sort of default option. once that friendship ceases for a period of time, it takes away the one reason for existence for some friendships i guess. but it's such a weird idea.
tangent: hierarchy of procrastination (reverse order, i guess):
waking up
laundry
making my bed
organizing music (except making playlists)
physics homework
reading/ studying
studying for a test
writing a paper
going to sleep
cleaning
taking a nap
browsing the internet
that was entertaining.
my english teacher is a god damned genius. he has 4 b.a.'s (nearly got a fifth), 2 m.a.'s, and of course a ph.d. he also has parkinson's (i'm fairly sure), so i guess that's what you get for trying too hard. he is a really good teacher though.
twaji and i seem to always share an observaton about someone everytime we meet. it's kinda funny how accurately we pin down certain character's mannerisms. today, though, he hit me with one about me. apparently, i throw statistics in my normal dialect all the time. i was not aware of this. i thought about it and still am unsure about this. anyway, it's always a strange sensation to be told how i am, even if it's the most minor of details. maybe it's just the reality of being confronted with what i really am, as opposed to what i think i am. i mean i'm quite aware that i never come off the way i intend, but that, too, makes me self conscious. it's just a weird, annoying feeling to be aware of oneself. and then you begin to feel like every one of your actions is a reaction to that one accusation. or maybe i'm just silly.
i feel like far too often i'm losing thoughts.
it's really weird how fragile our friendships really are. college, i feel, makes this painfully obvious. the people i hang out with has changed fairly drastically, year to year. it just doesn't feel right. time and distance command such power to dissolve everything we work so hard to achieve. you would think that there are ties out there that are stronger than this, and there are, but why are they so rare? surely we all desire more strong friends, but why do we always allow everything to fall apart. and why are some friendships so hard to pick back up, while others dont even seem to notice years without use. in my mind, i may find it impossible to believe that things can change and ties can be lost. it just doesn't make sense. neither does this paragraph, but i'm trying to reclaim a lost thought.
it's just so strange that being close at one time is such a far cry from a guarantee of any continued closeness. i mean if it mattered so much at one point, why does it not matter in the future? how can we so easily toss aside things that we care about? i would hate to think that the reason that friends are friends is because they already are... a sort of default option. once that friendship ceases for a period of time, it takes away the one reason for existence for some friendships i guess. but it's such a weird idea.