Still aten't dead - PSA
Hey, folks. It's been too long.
I have a quick PSA: disabled people are entitled to companionship, especially if someone requests, nay, demands, their presence frequently and continually. That happened to me, so I know.
If, after having made those demands, it turns out those demands were unwise, it is outright evil to blame the predictable failures, due to disability, on the disabled person. That happened to me, too. It was evil.
All of this remains true, even if a relationship with the disabled person isn't easy - we're not all sainted martyrs to our disability, some of us facing constant intense pain and soul crushing fatigue can act subotimally once in a while. Relationships are never easy.
If you feel there's something wrong with that assessment, well, I have PTSD, so it took me a few years to be able to come to grips with it. I started off loathing myself for being so toxic. What's your problem? I'll try to help you understand - I'm good at explaining things. I even explained to myself how toxic I'm not, and I believed it, back after I left high school. I had to relearn it, but, hey, PTSD, so I ask, again, what's your problem?
Oh, yeah. And if you end a relationship with a disabled person who burned through all of his resources, trying to be normal, because he cherishes you, and you decide you won't just say he can't keep up, but that he's a vile person? That goes beyond just plain "evil" and goes clear over to malice... the kind of malice often shown by people who made dumbass choices, and regret having made them.
I had to learn not to make dumbass choices - like trusting people - at the age of 5. I was shocked and appalled to realize I had to re-learn that in my middle age, but, hey, I was lied to for a dozen years or so, and I was naive enough to trust.
I have a quick PSA: disabled people are entitled to companionship, especially if someone requests, nay, demands, their presence frequently and continually. That happened to me, so I know.
If, after having made those demands, it turns out those demands were unwise, it is outright evil to blame the predictable failures, due to disability, on the disabled person. That happened to me, too. It was evil.
All of this remains true, even if a relationship with the disabled person isn't easy - we're not all sainted martyrs to our disability, some of us facing constant intense pain and soul crushing fatigue can act subotimally once in a while. Relationships are never easy.
If you feel there's something wrong with that assessment, well, I have PTSD, so it took me a few years to be able to come to grips with it. I started off loathing myself for being so toxic. What's your problem? I'll try to help you understand - I'm good at explaining things. I even explained to myself how toxic I'm not, and I believed it, back after I left high school. I had to relearn it, but, hey, PTSD, so I ask, again, what's your problem?
Oh, yeah. And if you end a relationship with a disabled person who burned through all of his resources, trying to be normal, because he cherishes you, and you decide you won't just say he can't keep up, but that he's a vile person? That goes beyond just plain "evil" and goes clear over to malice... the kind of malice often shown by people who made dumbass choices, and regret having made them.
I had to learn not to make dumbass choices - like trusting people - at the age of 5. I was shocked and appalled to realize I had to re-learn that in my middle age, but, hey, I was lied to for a dozen years or so, and I was naive enough to trust.