FUCKERSNAPS: A COOKING DEMONSTATION
THEME INGREDIENT: FUCKERSNAPS.
If my memory serves me correctly, and I think it does, fuckersnaps originate from the Basque Region of Spain, where locals enjoy this rare delicacy during the summer months. There is an old proverb surrounding fuckersnaps: first fuck, then snap. If you snap first, then fuck, only disaster will befall you. Fuckersnaps - the crispy, crunchy treat you have to be at least 16 years of age to enjoy. So remember, with fuckersnaps, first fuck, then snap.
AND YOUR IRON CHEFS FOR TODAY ARE: SAJEE AND JOHNNYPURPLE!
THOUGH WE ARE BAKING MASTERS, WE STILL FOLLOWED AN ANCIENT RECIPE AS WRITTEN IN THE AUSTRALIAN WOMEN'S WEEKLY COOKBOOK, 'SWEET OLD-FASHIONED FAVOURITES':
WE MELTED STUFF:
AND ADDED STUFF:
IRON CHEF SAJEE IN ACTION:
WE USED KITCHEN THINGS TO ADD OTHER STUFF:
(THESE FUCKERSNAPS WERE GLUTEN-FREE BECAUSE WE SUBSTITUTED WHEAT FLOUR WITH CRACK. IT IS IMPORTANT TO SIFT THE CRACK TO AVOID LUMPS IN YOUR MIXTURE.)
STIR:
RUB THINGS WITH BUTTER:
(IN THIS CASE WE USED A TRAY. BUT YOU COULD USE THE BODY OF ANY NUBILE YOUNG THING YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE LYING AROUND, EG. BRADLEY JAMES)
(OUR IMPARTIAL OBSERVER, JOSH, IS DUBIOUS ABOUT THIS LAST POINT.)
PUT SPOONFULS OF STUFF ON THE STUFF.
YOUR HOST, IRON CHEF I'VE-BEEN-EATING-TOO-MUCH-OF-THE-CRACKY-FUCKERSNAP-MIXTURE, GIVES THIS STEP THE DOUBLE THUMBS UP. (PLEASE NOTE MY EMO MERLOL NECKERCHIEF!)
AFTER THE OVEN, THE FLAT FUCKERSNAPS (OR FUCKERFLATS, IF YOU WILL) LOOKED LIKE THIS:
THE NEXT STEP WASN'T ACTUALLY THAT EASY. BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS PICSPAM, I'LL MAKE IT LOOK EASY. WE ARE IRON CHEFS, AFTER ALL.
YOU HAD TO ROLL THE STILL WARM, BUT NOT TOO HOT, STILL SOFT, BUT NOT TOO SOFT BUT NOT TOO FIRM EITHER, FUCKERFLATS AROUND THE HANDLE OF SOMETHING, LIKE A WOODEN SPOON.
WE WERE TOO BUSY DOING IT TO GET ANY PICS OF US DOING IT. IT WAS ALL IN THE TIMING.
OF COURSE, EVERY SINGLE ONE TURNED OUT PERFECT. LIKE THIS:
THERE WERE NONE THAT DIDN'T WORK AND HAD TO BE EATEN EARLY ON, IN ORDER TO HIDE OUR FAILURE. NONE AT ALL. *SHIFTY EYES*
DO YOU THINK WE MADE ENOUGH?
SOME OF THEM ARE IN A BASKET SHAPE WHICH WAS MADE BY DRAPING THE FUCKERFLATS OVER AN UPTURNED CUP.
CREAM WITH AN ARTFUL AMOUNT OF VANILLA IN IT. WE ALSO ADDED BRANDY. AND THEN WHIPPED IT.
THE WHIPPED CREAM IS THEN PIPED INTO THE FUCKERSNAPS:
AS SUCH...
WE HAD BERRIES AS WELL.
CREAM + BERRIES + FUCKERSNAP BASKET = MERLIN'S RUSTIC BASKETS:
THEY WERE DELICIOUS. WE WERE TOO BUSY NOMMING TO TAKE PICTURES OF US NOMMING. WHICH IS A PITY BECAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN HILARIOUS PICTURES - THE WAY THE FUCKERSNAPS SNAP AND THE CREAM GOES SQUISH IN YOUR MOUTH OR EVEN NOT IN YOUR MOUTH. OH YES.
IN CONCLUSION, FUCKERSNAPS. FIRST FUCK. THEN SNAP.
Thanks to sajee and nixwilliams for uploading the pics. ♥ Thanks to peace-bloom and daniel-bethany for nomming with us. ♥
If my memory serves me correctly, and I think it does, fuckersnaps originate from the Basque Region of Spain, where locals enjoy this rare delicacy during the summer months. There is an old proverb surrounding fuckersnaps: first fuck, then snap. If you snap first, then fuck, only disaster will befall you. Fuckersnaps - the crispy, crunchy treat you have to be at least 16 years of age to enjoy. So remember, with fuckersnaps, first fuck, then snap.
AND YOUR IRON CHEFS FOR TODAY ARE: SAJEE AND JOHNNYPURPLE!
THOUGH WE ARE BAKING MASTERS, WE STILL FOLLOWED AN ANCIENT RECIPE AS WRITTEN IN THE AUSTRALIAN WOMEN'S WEEKLY COOKBOOK, 'SWEET OLD-FASHIONED FAVOURITES':
WE MELTED STUFF:
AND ADDED STUFF:
IRON CHEF SAJEE IN ACTION:
WE USED KITCHEN THINGS TO ADD OTHER STUFF:
(THESE FUCKERSNAPS WERE GLUTEN-FREE BECAUSE WE SUBSTITUTED WHEAT FLOUR WITH CRACK. IT IS IMPORTANT TO SIFT THE CRACK TO AVOID LUMPS IN YOUR MIXTURE.)
STIR:
RUB THINGS WITH BUTTER:
(IN THIS CASE WE USED A TRAY. BUT YOU COULD USE THE BODY OF ANY NUBILE YOUNG THING YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE LYING AROUND, EG. BRADLEY JAMES)
(OUR IMPARTIAL OBSERVER, JOSH, IS DUBIOUS ABOUT THIS LAST POINT.)
PUT SPOONFULS OF STUFF ON THE STUFF.
YOUR HOST, IRON CHEF I'VE-BEEN-EATING-TOO-MUCH-OF-THE-CRACKY-FUCKERSNAP-MIXTURE, GIVES THIS STEP THE DOUBLE THUMBS UP. (PLEASE NOTE MY EMO MERLOL NECKERCHIEF!)
AFTER THE OVEN, THE FLAT FUCKERSNAPS (OR FUCKERFLATS, IF YOU WILL) LOOKED LIKE THIS:
THE NEXT STEP WASN'T ACTUALLY THAT EASY. BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS PICSPAM, I'LL MAKE IT LOOK EASY. WE ARE IRON CHEFS, AFTER ALL.
YOU HAD TO ROLL THE STILL WARM, BUT NOT TOO HOT, STILL SOFT, BUT NOT TOO SOFT BUT NOT TOO FIRM EITHER, FUCKERFLATS AROUND THE HANDLE OF SOMETHING, LIKE A WOODEN SPOON.
WE WERE TOO BUSY DOING IT TO GET ANY PICS OF US DOING IT. IT WAS ALL IN THE TIMING.
OF COURSE, EVERY SINGLE ONE TURNED OUT PERFECT. LIKE THIS:
THERE WERE NONE THAT DIDN'T WORK AND HAD TO BE EATEN EARLY ON, IN ORDER TO HIDE OUR FAILURE. NONE AT ALL. *SHIFTY EYES*
DO YOU THINK WE MADE ENOUGH?
SOME OF THEM ARE IN A BASKET SHAPE WHICH WAS MADE BY DRAPING THE FUCKERFLATS OVER AN UPTURNED CUP.
CREAM WITH AN ARTFUL AMOUNT OF VANILLA IN IT. WE ALSO ADDED BRANDY. AND THEN WHIPPED IT.
THE WHIPPED CREAM IS THEN PIPED INTO THE FUCKERSNAPS:
AS SUCH...
WE HAD BERRIES AS WELL.
CREAM + BERRIES + FUCKERSNAP BASKET = MERLIN'S RUSTIC BASKETS:
THEY WERE DELICIOUS. WE WERE TOO BUSY NOMMING TO TAKE PICTURES OF US NOMMING. WHICH IS A PITY BECAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN HILARIOUS PICTURES - THE WAY THE FUCKERSNAPS SNAP AND THE CREAM GOES SQUISH IN YOUR MOUTH OR EVEN NOT IN YOUR MOUTH. OH YES.
IN CONCLUSION, FUCKERSNAPS. FIRST FUCK. THEN SNAP.
Thanks to sajee and nixwilliams for uploading the pics. ♥ Thanks to peace-bloom and daniel-bethany for nomming with us. ♥