Big Surprises.
1) I liked the first fifty pages of "Bleak House". Yes, that's right. The one Dickens wrote. It's sort of .... funny and interesting, at least so far. Who knew?
2) I hated the first twenty minutes of "Alexander". I hereby appoint J. Will Redden my official High Counselor of Cinema .... even he, fellow lover of the crappy war epic, tried to warn me of the evils of this film. I can't say enough about the twenty crappy minutes I saw. First of all, the 6 eight year olds that wrote the film must be friends with the 6 eight year olds that wrote "The Terminal". Big attractive stars, a high falutin director, and a classic story mean shit if the writing sounds like it's coming out of a home for the mentally-ill pre-pubescent. Through shoddy narration, we are TOLD over and over again how great and brave Alexander is, only he's like 10 so he can't be that great and brave. We just get to see him talk to a horse. There is also attempted ass-rape of Angelina Jolie in the first 5 minutes of the film, and that is just too much. Anyways, before people have had a chance to finish their popcorn (or their No Pudge Fudge Bars as it were), we get the fucking St. Crispin's Day ripoff speech which is only worth something if you actually care about or know anything about any of the characters. It is also intermittedly cut with closeups of a hawk flying and shots of the kohl-eyed Persians, asking each other what Alexander is saying, because they can't hear. Of course they can't hear; he's all the way across a bloody desert. Besides, we can't hear either. I turned it off when Alexander said to a fellow soldier, "Pick up the pace!" You're tellin' me ....
2) I hated the first twenty minutes of "Alexander". I hereby appoint J. Will Redden my official High Counselor of Cinema .... even he, fellow lover of the crappy war epic, tried to warn me of the evils of this film. I can't say enough about the twenty crappy minutes I saw. First of all, the 6 eight year olds that wrote the film must be friends with the 6 eight year olds that wrote "The Terminal". Big attractive stars, a high falutin director, and a classic story mean shit if the writing sounds like it's coming out of a home for the mentally-ill pre-pubescent. Through shoddy narration, we are TOLD over and over again how great and brave Alexander is, only he's like 10 so he can't be that great and brave. We just get to see him talk to a horse. There is also attempted ass-rape of Angelina Jolie in the first 5 minutes of the film, and that is just too much. Anyways, before people have had a chance to finish their popcorn (or their No Pudge Fudge Bars as it were), we get the fucking St. Crispin's Day ripoff speech which is only worth something if you actually care about or know anything about any of the characters. It is also intermittedly cut with closeups of a hawk flying and shots of the kohl-eyed Persians, asking each other what Alexander is saying, because they can't hear. Of course they can't hear; he's all the way across a bloody desert. Besides, we can't hear either. I turned it off when Alexander said to a fellow soldier, "Pick up the pace!" You're tellin' me ....