Early Ripe...?
So, is this finally the onset of 20-something directionlessness or is my life just really fucking depressing?
Shit, have to stop being so self-involved, it can blind you to the fact that its the WORLD thats cold, lonely and miserable,rather than just your own tiny sphere of existence. Got out of the band I wanted out of and am still semi-successfully trying to kickstart the one I think I want to be in. I've had enough of bands, I really have, what is it that happens to the maturity level of otherwise sane, reasonable human beings when you put a guitar in their hands? Feh, maybe I should just keep working with random musicians the way I'm doing now, it's not like I've ever possessed of the blind ambition required to be a financially succesful musician anyway. Their must be some middle ground between disinterested apathetics and artless careerists, damned if I can find any.
I feel so fucking hungry for something, god knows what it is. Start a religion, smuggle drugs, go back to university and remind myself why I stopped doing all these things in the first place. I always knew my drive far outstripped my ability but in an oddly humble way I always figured I'd run out of ideas before the world ran out of possibilities. Wrong again, I always seem to be wrong when I doubt myself, it practically counts as self-defense for the ego now I come to think about it. Guess the unexamined life wasn't worth living after all.
If anyones building a better world and its not too late, I'd like to help.
Or maybe just cynically laugh from the sidelines as the noblest ideas are bulldozed, cheapened and degraded. I'm not the nicest bloke you've met, but I do my best.
Shit, have to stop being so self-involved, it can blind you to the fact that its the WORLD thats cold, lonely and miserable,rather than just your own tiny sphere of existence. Got out of the band I wanted out of and am still semi-successfully trying to kickstart the one I think I want to be in. I've had enough of bands, I really have, what is it that happens to the maturity level of otherwise sane, reasonable human beings when you put a guitar in their hands? Feh, maybe I should just keep working with random musicians the way I'm doing now, it's not like I've ever possessed of the blind ambition required to be a financially succesful musician anyway. Their must be some middle ground between disinterested apathetics and artless careerists, damned if I can find any.
I feel so fucking hungry for something, god knows what it is. Start a religion, smuggle drugs, go back to university and remind myself why I stopped doing all these things in the first place. I always knew my drive far outstripped my ability but in an oddly humble way I always figured I'd run out of ideas before the world ran out of possibilities. Wrong again, I always seem to be wrong when I doubt myself, it practically counts as self-defense for the ego now I come to think about it. Guess the unexamined life wasn't worth living after all.
If anyones building a better world and its not too late, I'd like to help.
Or maybe just cynically laugh from the sidelines as the noblest ideas are bulldozed, cheapened and degraded. I'm not the nicest bloke you've met, but I do my best.